Pieces of Summer(42)
She wraps her arms around my waist, not giving a damn if anyone in town sees her kissing me. I’m not the dirty secret or a rebellious moment. I’m hers, and she doesn’t care who knows it.
“I love you,” I say against her lips.
“Then give me my ice cream,” she says back, smiling against me.
Snickering, I step back and hand her the chocolate cone, and she moans while licking a section. Damn it. Now my dick is stone.
Mika smirks at me, probably aware of what she’s doing, and I roll my eyes while trying to play it off.
“I need to swing by my house and check on Mom,” I tell her on a sigh, which immediately kills the hard-on.
“Of course,” she says with a shrug.
No one ever acts like they want to go to my house, but Mika never cares to. We laugh and talk and devour the cones before they melt. It takes a while to walk all the way there, but when we reach the steps, I release her hand.
“Wait out here,” I tell her.
“Nope. Sorry. Not getting rid of me that easily.”
Groaning, I turn and lead the way in, stepping over the laundry that is scattered right in front of the doorway. Unfortunately, Mom forgot to put up the sign, and we walk in on her sucking off the judge.
He doesn’t notice, and my stomach roils at the sight as I start to step back out. Mika doesn’t even react before following me outside, and she wraps her arm around my waist.
“Movie tonight? I was thinking we should watch something with some violence for a change. No chick flicks,” she says as though we didn’t just see my mother giving the judge his weekly freebie to keep her out of jail for prostitution.
“You don’t have to act like you didn’t just get sick. Even I’m sick. How the hell can you—”
“If I gave a damn about what your mother does, I wouldn’t be the girl for you, Chase. I’m not going to let a gross blowjob ruin our time. She really should remember to put the sign up though. That man’s ass was too hairy to be natural, and I can’t un-see that.”
She shudders, but she’s laughing.
Despite the fact I should still be on the verge of vomiting, I pick her up and crush my lips to hers, clinging to her. She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close and kissing me back.
“Thank you,” I finally say.
“For what?” she muses, kissing a line down my cheek.
“For not giving a damn about where I come from.”
She wraps her legs around my waist as we stand in the middle of the dirt road, and she studies my eyes.
“I only care about you, Chase. Fuck the rest. You’re not them.”
“And you’re sure about coming here and dealing with this in two years when we’re both eighteen? I don’t want you to regret that decision.”
She smiles at me as though the world around us is getting brighter instead of darker.
“I can’t wait. And I’m not giving up anything to feel regret over. I get you. There’s nothing better out there for me.”
Getting into the psych ward is fucking impossible unless you’re a family member, and I’m going crazy in the waiting room. Aidan had to leave to get Dr. Stein from the airport three hours ago. She flew in just for Mika… To help her get out of this place.
Mika has been here since yesterday, and I can’t get in to see her even during ‘visiting’ hours—that ended two hours ago. The next visiting hours won’t be for another hour. Not that it matters for me. I’m stuck out here.
“You look like hell.” Whit’s voice has me turning away from the waiting room window, and I cock my head to the side.
“The hell are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too, asshole. I’m here for Mika.”
“How did you find out?”
She shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “Hunter called and said she wanted to see me. I assume she’s worried about this leaking to us.” Real concern is in her voice, and she looks like she’s as tired as I feel as she takes a seat. “I never knew anything like this was going on with her, and I feel like absolute shit for being so nosy and trying to pry. I… I… I don’t even know what to say. How’s she doing?”
Mika asked for her? She hasn’t asked for me. Fucking bullshit. She doesn’t want to see me because she doesn’t want me to know.
I drop to a chair and blow out a breath. “Fuck if I know. I can’t get back there.”
Hunter walks in, eyeing Whit on his way by, and he turns his attention to me. “You can get back there. Just paid a big chunk to a woman willing to risk her job. I think it’s best if you see Mika, despite what she thinks.”
“She doesn’t want to see me?”
Yeah, I know she doesn’t, but it fucking hurts to hear it aloud.
“She doesn’t want to be seen like this. They still have her in restraints.”
My eyes flick to Whit who has no reaction to that.
“I’ve already filled Whit in. Mika asked to see her,” Hunter goes on.
“Thought only family could get in,” I growl.
“Not if the patient puts them on the list, as Mika has with Whit. Come on. Our window is small.”
Deciding not to dwell on the fact I’m actually envious of Whit being on the list, I follow Hunter down the corridor to the locked double doors. They both open as soon as we reach them, and a woman waves me in, darting paranoid glances around her.
I follow her down the hall until we reach a solid door, and she motions with her head for me to head in like it’s the shadiest operation in history. Taking a deep breath, I steel myself for the worst, and walk inside.
My breath freezes in my lungs when I see her. Her head is facing the wall away from me, and her arms are bound and restrained to the sides of the bed. A sheet is up to her waist, and a hospital gown covers the rest of her.
Taking another breath, I watch as she slowly turns her head to face me, and her swollen eyes widen when she sees me.
“Chase,” she hisses, struggling then wincing as panic flashes in her eyes.
Without thinking about it, I close the distance between us, and to start removing those damn things from her arms.
“Stop,” she whimpers. I let go immediately, grimacing because of the pain in her voice.
“Did I hurt you?” I ask, staring at the cuff and not her face.
“You should go. These have to stay on. It’s policy, and I really, really don’t want you seeing me like this. Please,” she chokes out.
My eyes slowly move up to meet her green ones that carry unshed tears and years of sadness.
“I’m not going anywhere, Mika.”
She looks away, refusing eye contact, and I prepare to deal with the stubborn girl she is even now.
“You have to go. They’ll escort you out once they find you. You’re not allowed back here,” she says quietly, a hint of anger in her tone.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Slowly, she turns to face me, and some of those tears slip free. “We got to have a little more, Chase. Let that be enough. Find your closure. I’ve found mine.”
That’s the first time she’s underestimated me. I’m not stupid.
“It isn’t enough, and you know it. Ever wonder why I never moved on? Ever wonder why you never did?” I ask her, watching as her jaw tightens.
“Don’t do this,” she finally says.
“It’s because we can’t, Mika. Do you have any idea how rare this thing between us is? I know how fucking terrified it made me feel the second I saw you again. I also know why it was all worth it the second I stopped trying to avoid it. Don’t pretend like you don’t feel it too.”
She blows out a long breath before staring up at the ceiling.
“There’s a balance in life,” she says quietly. “When something really good happens, something really bad happens to balance it out.”
Her eyes come back down to meet mine as a few more tears fall from her eyes, and I sit down on the edge of her bed, careful not to jostle her. She has to be in pain, since Hunter said she can’t take pain meds due to her condition.
“This thing between us…” She’s forced to let her words trail off while she reins in her emotions, and I try to keep my mouth shut and just listen. “It’s unreal. I convinced myself it was never as intense as my teenage mind thought it was. But it was even more intense than I remembered. I think that’s because I never felt heartache before, and now I’m swimming in it. It was… It was even better than it used to be.”
She smiles at me despite her tears, and I reach up to wipe some of them away. She leans into my hand, and I keep it there, needing to feel her.
“But there’s a reason no one has this,” she says on a broken whisper. “Because it’s too good to hold onto. It defies the balance.”
“I’m willing to do everything possible to hold onto it,” I tell her, using my thumb to swipe at a tear as it falls. “I get you. Fuck the rest. There’s nothing else out there that’s better for me,” I add, repeating her words from so long ago. “I never should have given you up.”
She shakes her head before swallowing. “You have no idea how wrong you are, and don’t give me that guilty look.” Her voice is stronger as she glares into my eyes. “This would have happened no matter what. Mom was unhinged. I couldn’t have left before eighteen, Chase. She never would have allowed it. That fight would have happened no matter what. And I might not have survived without the extreme measures Aidan was forced to take. You wouldn’t have ever let me out of your sight.”