Phoenix Rising(33)

He could not kill Alex. He had every right to have an interest in Jessa. She was just another woman. And God knew the two of them had enjoyed similar tastes in the past.

“You okay, Connor? Have you gained a few pounds or something?”

“Or something,” Connor muttered.

“Honestly, if I worked all night and then came up here to punish myself with a few hundred crunches and pushups and God knows what else you torture yourself with, I’d hit rock bottom too.”

Connor flung himself onto the loveseat. “It wouldn’t hurt you to do a few exercises to keep in shape, Alex.”

“Oh I exercise. In fact, I did about a million pelvic thrusts tonight with Isabel. That’s got to be worth a couple thousand calories.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “I didn’t see Isabel come in.”

“Yeah, you were too involved with Jessa.”

“Don’t you think Isabel will get pissed if you’re fucking around with Jessa behind her back?”

Alex shrugged, “If she’s pissed about it, then our relationship has run its course.”

“One of these days you’re going to get yourself into trouble.”

“It’ll be a vengeful husband, not a woman scorned.”

“I still don’t think you should try to start something with Jessa when you haven’t finished with Isabel. Jessa won’t understand. She hasn’t been around long enough.”

Connor tried to remain still beneath the appraising look Alex raked over him. He knew it was completely out of character for him to try and talk Alex out of a woman. But Connor couldn’t help it. The idea of Alex and Jessa having a casual fling was unacceptable to him. And if he had to use Isabel as an argument, so be it.

“Connor,” Alex began quietly, “what’s going on?”

There wasn’t an answer to that question, so Connor didn’t even try. He levered himself off the loveseat and silently left the room instead. Alex didn’t try to call him back. Connor was glad.

It was cool and dark inside his bedroom. Connor stripped naked and slid between the cotton sheets. He spent several minutes trying to get comfortable before heaving a great sigh and flopping onto his back, hands stacked beneath his head. Normally, the bed seemed on the small side. Tonight it felt empty. Connor didn’t even want to examine the why of that phenomenon.

Jessa’s expression had been mixed when she left after their erotic love play against the bar. Connor knew she’d been relieved that it was only she, him and Alex in the bar when their arousal abated and the world stopped spinning out of control. And though Connor wanted to awaken her understanding of just how erotic it could be to exhibit raw passion and desire in front of a roomful of people, he didn’t want to push her too far. It had been a huge concession for Jessa to let Connor spread her legs and take her there in front of Alex and the few remaining customers at one a.m. on a slow night. Any more would’ve been a setback of epic proportions.

But when the passion had burned away and left the woman and the man still locked in a sensual embrace, Connor hadn’t wanted to let go. And that wasn’t the normal way of things for him.

A good thorough fucking, down and dirty, as fulfilling as sex could ever be, was followed by a casual word and a wave. That was the way Connor operated. Alex wined and dined and made promises nobody expected him to keep. Connor simply left.

So why had he lingered to help Jessa dress before making certain she made it safely to her car? He’d even watched her taillights disappear into the darkness of night. How was he supposed to interpret that? It’d been damned uncomfortable. Neither of them had known what to say. He was no good at idle conversation. And Connor had been preoccupied with fighting the urge to pull her close for a thorough kissing before dragging her upstairs and keeping her busy in his bed all night long.

Kissing her would be the equivalent of flirting with insanity.

Personal hang-ups rarely made sense. And Connor’s unspoken rule about kissing on the mouth was no exception. It was a simple rule. He didn’t do it. How a simple kiss on a woman’s mouth was more intimate than a slow, languorous taste of her feminine core was beyond Connor’s ability to explain. But it was true.

Although, considering the way he wanted to kiss Jessa, it wasn’t hard to comprehend.

Kissing Jessa wouldn’t be intimate. It would be soul searing. He’d nearly lost the war raging in his mind when Jessa had asked him to kiss her. It was a simple request that nearly torn him in two.

He needed a new plan, preferably something that took perspective into consideration.

Jessa needed to let loose. She needed to forget the asshole husband who’d turned his back on something he couldn’t possibly understand the value of. She needed someone to unleash the fiery temptress locked inside her. She needed Connor. And Connor needed to keep his head.