Perfect Fit(95)

“I can’t believe how much I missed the munchkins,” Jag said, interrupting my thoughts. “I was looking forward to a break, but I was ready for them to come back Saturday morning. I feel really guilty for saying this, but I was hoping Joann would call and tell us the kids were upset and wanted to come home. What kind of selfish asshole does that make me?”

I chuckled at the perplexed frown on his face. “If you’re a selfish asshole then so am I, but as hard as it is to be away from them, it’s good for all of us to have a little break now and then. I was so happy that Joann and Herbert didn’t make things awkward on Friday when they picked them up.” I tilted my head in consideration. “I mean, they weren’t smiling all over themselves and hugging us, but they greeted us warmly. That’s progress, right?”

“It sure is, Bones. I’m sure in time that any remaining tension will be gone. They’re just missing their daughter and are afraid of losing their last ties to her. Once they see that you genuinely want them to be involved in Lucas and Lily’s life then they’ll relax.” He glanced over and smiled at me when he pulled up at a red light. I noticed that he liked driving the new SUV when we went places together. It didn’t matter to me who drove, but I figured I should try to wrestle the keys from him on occasion so his ego didn’t get too inflated. I gave up my ass more than he did so I figured I would need to assert myself a little more so I made it known this was an equal relationship. Last night was the first time I had topped him in quite some time. We shared the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and lawn maintenance responsibilities equally, but apparently I needed to add ass topping and driving to the list of things we’d do equally. “What?” He asked when he saw me smiling at him.

“I was just thinking that I’ve been giving up my ass more than you have lately.”

“That’s what you were thinking just now?” He raised his brow in mock disapproval and then looked back up at the light. It turned green so he eased out into the intersection before he spoke again. “You transitioned from harmony with the Candlesses to sex with me? That’s a weird leap.”

“I’m a guy. We think about sex all the time. Plus, you look really sexy over there in the driver’s seat. You handle this beast masterfully and I find it really hot.”

“Bones, you don’t need flattery to have a go at my ass. If you want something from me then tell me or just take it. That’s never been a problem for you in the past. You always wrestled me down and took what you wanted. Why the hesitation now? Are you worried that I didn’t want to bottom for you and I just did it to appease you? I can assure that is not the case. I’ve loved every second that your dick was in my ass.”

I was quiet for a minute as I considered my answer. Why was I acting different? In the past, I had taken what I wanted from him, but never in a forceful way. It was always during foreplay when having sex was more than a foregone conclusion. Normally, we alternated who topped and who bottomed, but recently I automatically assumed the bottom position. It just felt like that was what I needed and maybe I did.

“I think it’s because of the pressure and grief I’ve struggled with over the last several weeks.” I knew my words were the truth as soon as they were spoken. “I’ve had to be in charge of so many things, and at times it just felt right to give myself to you and let you be in charge of our pleasure.” I looked over at him and admired his beautiful profile as he stayed focused on driving. Jag always stayed focused on whatever it was he was doing, which made it feel so damn good to turn myself over to him. “Like always, you knew just what I needed when I needed it.”

“I always want to be that for you, Bones. Our home should be our sanctuary, especially our bedroom. That’s our place to shut out the world and focus on us. We need that to be a healthy couple and healthy parents.” Jag reached over and took my hand. “Up until now, I’ve been going on pure instincts and what I thought I might need in your situation, but I’m not always going to guess right. This right here, us talking about what you need from me, is good. I don’t want to be selfish prick.”

“You’re the least selfish person I know.” He hid his true self beneath a shallow, handsome exterior, but I knew better. I saw the guy who dropped whatever he was doing to color with the kids, play Barbie’s, build Legos, or read them a book. I saw the guy who was learning to cook and was teaching me so we could make good food for the kids. I saw the guy who always put everyone’s needs before his own. “I don’t want to be the person who takes advantage of your willingness to do anything to make me happy.”