Perfect Chaos(47)

I waited. There wasn’t anything else I could do because I wanted Deck. It needed to be him. I’d waited ten years for it to be him, so I’d stand and wait for the next ten years if Deck had his eyes on me like he did at this moment.

His arms uncrossed. “Perfect.”

My insides went haywire as he strode toward me. Could a body be set into flames from a mere look? Yes. Hell yes, we were talking about Deck here.

He stopped a foot away and I was screaming for him to come closer. I wanted to beg. Jesus, did I just say that? All my internal thoughts were screwed up and I had no idea what I was thinking except the beacon of ‘kiss me’ flashing relentlessly.

“Look at me.”

I thought I was, but I was staring at his tatted chest, willing it to come closer. The smartass in me wanted to defy him after all the orders he gave me. However, the desire was too overpowering, and I knew if I gave him any smartass he’d turn and leave without a single backward glance. I wouldn’t risk it.

I met his eyes and the dark steadiness I always saw was lit with a smoldering flame. Okay, I could get some power back here. I opened my mouth. His brows lowered and I quickly slammed it shut. Maybe not.

“If this happens, there’s no going back.” The creak in the floorboards sounded and a shiver raced through me.

What did he mean ‘no going back’? “What exactly does that entail?”

His lips pulled down in the corners, and I knew he was a little pissed off. Add the sudden tension in his shoulders with it and he was angry. Okay, what the hell?

“It entails everything.” He stepped closer and when his hands curled around my upper arms, the ache between my legs became unbearable. “You ready for that?”

I decided I wanted to be brave because I was feeling insecure and needed some of it back. “Kiss me and I’ll let you know.”

There was a twitch at the corner of his mouth and his fingers slid down my arms in a slow glide, the roughness against my smooth skin like silk and sandpaper. They moved up again and tightened. I couldn’t read him, damn it. Deck was a complexity I hadn’t figured out and probably never would.

His one hand caressed up to my shoulder and then to the curve of my neck until his fingers cupped the back of my neck. I lost my balance as I swayed into him, each molecule drawn toward him.

With one swift pull, he dragged me into him and then his head tilted and my lips met his. It was hard and soft and holy shit, it was alarmingly better than the kiss in the shower. His tongue slid across my teeth and then pushed past, entering the warmth. His arm went behind me, preventing any escape, although I didn’t even consider escaping.

My hands found their way around him and I caressed up his back until my fingers gripped his neck. It was cathartic as I felt the vibration of his groan and the sensation zapped my skin, sinking between my legs. His kiss deepened, if that was possible. He pulled my hair and I had no choice but to tilt my head back.

His kiss was an invasion. I got what he meant by ‘no going back’. He asked me if I was sure because Deck was taking and I had to give or be taken. The thought turned me on more and I kissed him hungrily as if starved for him.

I had been starved for him.

Ten years. Ten friggin’ years this man had been in my head trampling me and now I was tasting him, feeling him. I knew Deck didn’t do half-ass; it was all or nothing.

He groaned then pulled away. I tried to tug him back, but he wouldn’t let me and instead, I ran my hands down his solid back to his jeans and then down further to cup his ass.

Deck was eight years older than me, and I may have been inexperienced when it came to the actual sex part, but I’d done other things with guys and I knew what they liked.

His eyes drove into me as he tightened his grip in my hair. “Everything.”

I had no response because I didn’t know what he meant, but I’d do or say anything he asked. I wanted him to be lying on top of me and sinking inside me before I melted. “Baby, I need you.”

“I like it when you call me that.”

I bit my lip. “I know.”

He gave a curt nod and walked me backward until I felt the bed behind me and I fell, bouncing onto the mattress. I winced when my back hit the bed.

He saw it. “The cuts?”

I nodded. “But they’re fine.”

He watched me for a second as if assessing my words. “I won’t be gentle.”

I didn’t think he would be. “I know.”

Then he said, “Your sass stays out of the bedroom tonight.”

I got up on my elbows, which made my breasts stick out, and I noticed his eyes widen. The reaction was quickly covered up again with his steady resolve. I knew Deck had some real emotional scars, and I wondered even in the heat of passion if he’d let them go. If maybe I’d see a hint of the unshielded Deck.