Package Deal(74)

Maybe I should have moved in with him. Maybe then we wouldn’t be at this impasse—with Cece so unhappy. I need to talk with Joan. Maybe she doesn’t understand about Marcus and me. Shoulds and shouldn’ts. Maybe she should have waited until Marcus said he loved her before sleeping with him. That was my mistake. But, oh, he is so delicious—his mind as well as his body. I wanted to dive into those blue eyes of his the minute I saw him at the dean’s home. What was it about blue eyes in a man that captured her so? And the way he thought about things—she loved that, too.I do love you, Marcus. You must know that. But, I need to tell you that.I want to tell you … unless you think I’m another Felicity, unless it’s too late.

She sighed to herself and wandered outside. The sky still held traces of light and streaks of pink. Sounds of water from the nearby river beckoned. She found a trail and followed it to where it ended in a meadow of wildflowers. She kneeled down and began picking a bouquet of the delicate white and yellow flowers. Perhaps seeing them in a vase when she woke would lighten her mood.

“You’re not supposed to do that,” a familiar voice cautioned.

She turned, her heart pounding. Marcus was smiling down at her.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re in a national park and if every visitor picked just one flower, none would be left by the end of the season. It says so in this brochure.” He held up a pamphlet for her to see.

Before she could stop him, he gathered her in his arms.

“Amanda, I have missed you so much. How can I get back in your good graces? In Cecelia’s, too?”

She remembered what her daughter had demanded that he say when she confronted him on the porch. Those words, words Cecelia had repeated to her more than once, words she now was afraid she would never hear from him. Was it because she had told him no so many times, had told him not to even say the words, especially that ultimate word of commitment … marriage?

“You must know how I feel,” he said. “I know you do.”

“It’s not what I know or hope I know. It’s what you say. You didn’t say it—not to her, and not to me. That’s the problem.” Her voice cracked. “I think I know—or maybe I’d like to think I know. Or maybe I’ve made another mistake. I shouldn’t have, I should have waited. I told you on our first, or was it our second date? I should have—”

“Don’t say it, hon. You didn’t make a mistake.” He kissed away her tears. “I was the one who did that. I should have answered Cecelia. She just took me by surprise.” He looked down at his feet as if trying to work up the courage to say something more, but he remained silent.

Hurt by his silence, she backed away from him and tried to keep her voice businesslike. “I’m here for the workshop. If you’ll show me where we’re doing our planning sessions, I think we should get started so we’re ready when the participants arrive.”

He gazed back at her, seemingly unwilling to look away. She thought she saw something she took to be resignation in his eyes.

“Fair enough,” he finally said. “Follow me. I’ll show you where we’re meeting.”

They walked back to the lodge. For three hours, they plotted out the final details of the workshop seminars, fine-tuning the logistics of what each would do separately, and how and when they would bring all participants together for general sessions.

When Amanda went back to her room, she slipped into bed, acutely aware of her loneliness. The wildflowers, even in water, had already wilted. Like her hope. When an owl hooted outside, she got up, wrapped a light shawl around her nightgown and walked out onto her small private patio, ringed by evergreens. The moon skated between the clouds, illuminating the nearby trees before leaving them in ghostly darkness. Even the trees—they seemed to mock her, to insist that perhaps she was right … Marcus didn’t love her, at least not in the way she loved him.





Chapter 14



Marcus took a deep breath and picked up the phone. “Mike, have you got a minute?”

“I do—did you call to talk about the Cornhuskers? I think they’re going to do better this year.”

“Good for them.” He paused. “That’s not why I called. I—I’ve got woman trouble.”

“Not again. I thought you and Amanda were getting along great.”

“We were, but—”

“How’s the little girl doing?”

“Fine, she’s fine. They’re fine.”

“Well, you don’t sound fine. Maybe you should talk to Evie. She’s better at this love stuff.Babe!” his brother shouted. “Come get the phone. Marc needs to talk to you.”