Package Deal(72)

But now she wanted to, she ached for how much she wanted to. She folded the note and slipped it into her pocket before climbing into the car and sat there, her fingers brushing against the note, a reminder to talk to him. Perhaps when they were both on campus, where they wouldn’t be interrupted.

She’d let her fears control her for too long, fears for herself and Cecelia, maybe even fears for Marcus, too, if she took that step and then something terrible happened. Maybe it was time to set her fears aside, to banish them, and go after what she wanted, even if it meant she would be engulfed in grief should Marcus be taken from her, just like with Dylan.



Two days later, she went to the office prepared to work on her outline for the writer’s workshop. Frustrated that she hadn’t yet talked with Marcus, she looked up at the knock on her door, hoping he’d come to see her. But it was JJ who entered without waiting for an invitation.

“Amanda, dear, we need to talk.” The senior professor sat down on the smaller chair and pulled it close.

Amanda smiled and closed her laptop. “About what? Our upcoming class on biographies?”

JJ shook her head and leaned forward. “That can wait. You’re not happy. I can’t have that. You and I … we have to stick together around here. You’re going off to do that writer’s workshop, and I know it will be great. Two superstar instructors, but I don’t want you doing it if that’s why you’re so unhappy. It could show in the evaluations.”

Amanda sat back in her chair. “What do you mean?” Was her mood so transparent that everyone knew?

JJ patted her bun. “I suspect you’re wondering if everyone can tell. Don’t you even bother about that. The men around here … most of the time, they can barely put one foot in front of the other, much less have a clue what other people are going through. You’ve had it rough this year, with that sorry excuse for an officemate, and Cecelia’s accident and all, but something tells me that’s not why you aren’t yourself these days.”

Amanda’s heart began to thud as she looked into the cool dark eyes of the older woman. How could she possibly know? Had Marcus talked to her? “What makes you think I’m unhappy?”

The older woman’s mouth curved upward and her eyes were soft. “If I were your age, I’d say it was probably lovesickness—”

Amanda sucked in her breath. She kept her hands in her lap, clenching and unclenching her fists. “JJ—”

“I’m right, aren’t I? And I suspect it’s all about Marc Dunbar, that gorgeous hunk I see coming around here so often.” She smiled. “Don’t tell me I’m wrong—at least not yet.”

Amanda tried to keep her voice calm, unhurried. “I didn’t come here to find a husband, JJ. I told you that last fall.”

She nodded. “Of course you did. But sometimes, life has a way of putting us in a position where such decisions need to be set aside. I’m not interested in butting into your private affairs—” She chuckled. “Now that phrase has double meanings, doesn’t it? No, I just don’t want you going off to that workshop where I know you’ll be able to shine—professionally—feeling so down. Whatever it is, whoever is making you so unhappy … if there’s anything I can do, will you let me know? I’ll even go tell him off if you want me to.” She placed one hand on the desk and prepared to stand up.

Amanda reached out and grasped it. “You remind me of my grandmamma. She used to say she could see into my heart.”

“I don’t know about that. I just don’t want you so unhappy that you decide not to stay here. I need you here. The department needs you.” JJ paused and gave her a wry smile. “And I suspect there’s someone special in your life, in addition to your sweet Cecelia, who needs you, too. Why don’t you give yourself, and him, a chance?” She rose from the chair. “When you get back, come tell me how it went—the workshop, and all.” She began to move toward the door.

Amanda stood. “May I give you a hug, JJ?”

“Of course, you can.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, trying hard not to weep.

“You’re very welcome, dear. Now I do have to get back to work.” JJ brushed at her skirt and opened the door. “I’ll leave you to what you were doing.”



The English department was quiet when Marcus opened the outer door and rubbed Shakespeare’s copper cap. Most of the faculty had already gone home, but a light shone under Amanda’s door and another down the hall, and Beatrice was still there, too, talking with Greg. Marc’s pulse picked up as he knocked on Amanda’s door.