Overlooked(75)

There's anger in his eyes and something sizzles within me. His grip on my arm is gentle, though, and he lets go quickly despite the embers in his eyes, "Look, Ellen. I'm trying here."

I feel tears prickle at my vision and I am horrified to realize that I want to cry. I glare back at him instead, "Trying? Yeah, that's great." I feel hurt blossom in my chest. It happens so suddenly that I feel winded, caught off guard.

Cade frowns and I can see something lingering behind the anger. It looks almost like hurt, but it can't be. Not Cade. He sighs, "Yes, trying. I know this isn't the perfect circumstance, but I didn't think I was that impossible to be around."

His tone is tight and I don't know how to respond. I'm not sure why I'm reacting like this at all. He's done everything right  –  been polite, paid for it all, brought flowers and rings and dressed up nicely. He's complimented me, he's kissed me in a way that makes me melt.

He's done it all right.

But none of it is real. The thought strikes me with a thud in my chest. None of it is real, and he can try all he likes  –  all it does is make it more painful. I'm in a relationship where all my wildest dreams are coming true. He could be the man of my dreams …  but he doesn't mean a single bit of it, and that hurts more than I want to admit to him. To myself.   





 

Instead, I swallow my tears and smile, "You're great to be around." My words sound shallow, even to my own ears, "Life's a bit hectic. Sorry for taking it out on you."

He stares at me for a long moment and I have a suspicion that he knows I'm lying. His face smooths quickly and I'm left doubting myself. Did I ever see the anger and the hurt in his eyes? Or did I imagine the whole thing?

"Don't worry about it. I know you're stressed right now." He smiles and it's like nothing ever happened between us. He moves in and touches my cheek, "Don't worry about it. Is there anything I can do to help?"

I feel moved to tears again, and I just smile, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, all right?"

It's in his best interest not to argue with me. It's in his best interest to act like he cares. It doesn't mean anything and it doesn't have to. I agreed to this, I signed up for this and I am benefiting from it too. The very least I can do is honor my commitment instead of blowing up at him for honoring his.

Cade nods, "Well, let me know if you change your mind. I'll walk you back to work."

I don't have the energy to argue. We walk back in relative silence, broken only by our footfalls and the hum of traffic, the sound of voices as we pass more shops and cafes. It's a chilly day, but the sky is clear. I relish in the sight of it, relish in the way the wind seems to blow away the cobwebs in my soul. It's a refreshing feeling.

By the time we get back to the salon, I'm feeling a lot better. Emboldened, I lean in and give him a quick hug, "I hope work goes well." I say, and I realize that I mean it. I want work to go well for him.

I want him to succeed, and I kind of wish I didn't.





CHAPTER SEVEN





ELLEN CASSIDY





Wednesday rolls around and I wake with nerves in my stomach. I can feel the butterflies fluttering around and making me feel sick. I push myself out of bed and stare at the alarm clock. In a few hours, I will be in a meeting, technically lying to a lawyer about a fake relationship.

I drop back down onto my pillow. For a wild moment, I contemplate not going. I contemplate doing something insane, like calling in sick or something. I wonder if I should call off this lie. But I can't, I have too many people depending on me. My mum, my brother, Cade.

I sigh and reluctantly drag myself out of bed.

I can't call in sick to life, although sometimes I wish that I could. I wish that with all my heart. I put on the coffee machine before making my way to the bathroom. I need a shower  –  a long one. I also need to look my very best for this meeting, whether I am invested in it or not.

I need to look like I really care about this. In a way, I really do care. So I start by putting a mask on my face. I grab a shower scrub and a razor and get to work. Once I have scrubbed and shaved every inch, I feel a lot more polished than I have in quite a long time.

I wet my hair, next lathering it up with a sweet smelling shampoo. A condition follows and I try to let the product sit in my hair for as long as possible. When I finally rinse it out of my hair, and step out of the shower, I feel more put together than I have in months.

I rinse off my face mask with cold water in the sink, the blast of ice helping me wake up a little more. I wash my skin and put on lotion.

My face is first, followed by a moisturizer all over my body. It leaves my skin feeling fresh and soft and it adds a glow to it that I haven't seen recently. It's usually masked by a haze of exhaustion and lack of time.

Now, my skin is glowing and I have to admit that I love it. It's been far too long since I've taken time to do this for myself. I run some product through my hair and twist it into a soft towel. Once I am all wrapped up in my robe, I move to the bedroom and bring out the hair dryer.

This part I am good at. I style my hair simply, blasting it with the dryer until it's mostly dry. A gentle comb through and a few moments with the curling iron, and my hair is looking good. I spray it with a bit of product to keep it in place and check that it looks polished.

Next, I make my way over to my wardrobe where my latest outfit sits. It's very rare I splurge on new clothes, but I did buy one outfit with the credit card from Cade  –  a neat new one for the meeting today. It's professional and I am confident in my choice. I slip into it  –  a simple black dress that hugs my curves and stops just above my knee. It shows some skin, but not enough to look trashy.

I smile and put on a simple necklace. The ring that Cade got me is next. I have not put it on since the night of the engagement, and I admire the sparkle. I hadn't worn it as I didn't want to expose it to the chemicals at the salon or get clients' hair caught in the setting. Tasteful earrings, stockings and low heels complete the look. I apply my makeup, taking care to keep it subtle, before grabbing my bag.

I flick off my coffee machine with a sigh of disappointment  –  I didn't get a moment to drink it  –  before I head out of my apartment, locking the door behind me.

The pain from before has eased to a low ache in my chest, but I am still worried about my meeting with Cade. I haven't seen him or spoken to him since our last coffee break, except for him to relay the details of the appointment. I feel nervous, despite myself.

We're meeting at a cute little restaurant about a block away from the meeting. I know the shop, so I catch a bus into the heart of the city. I consider what Cade has told me about today. We're meeting a lawyer. He'll be handling the trust fund settlement.

Cade has a suspicion that the lawyer has just been hired to dig up the dirt on us. We can't let that happen, obviously. My stomach twists at the thought and I wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into.

I arrive at the restaurant early and find a seat in the corner, at the far end. I order myself a coffee. After a moment of debating with myself, I order Cade a coffee too. They arrive at the table before he does and I sip mine slowly, letting the caffeine seep into my system slowly.

Cade arrives soon after and I offer him a small smile. He sits and glances at his coffee. "Thanks." He smiles, smooth as ever, but there's an edge to his voice and I wonder if it's got something to do with me. It's probably just about the meeting.

I nod, "It's going to be okay."

We sit in silence for a moment as he sets down his briefcase and takes a long drink of his coffee. Double espresso. It seems like I guessed right.

"You ready?" he asks, glancing my way.

"Sure." I shrug, sounding far more confident than I feel.

He nods and looks me over, "You look lovely."

His compliment sends little shivers down my spine, though I shrug it off. I'm also forced to consider the fact that he's looking rather handsome himself. Freshly shaven, neat hair and a crisp suit, pleats pressed so perfectly they look like they could slice through stone.

"Not too bad yourself."

He smirks and I swear it could melt even the hardest of hearts. Let's hope the charm works with this lawyer guy.

"You hungry?" he asks, glancing at his watch. "We have a bit of time."

"I suppose." I smile, just to be polite. In all honesty, my stomach is in knots.

He calls over the waitress and she takes our orders. He has a medium-sized breakfast, and I go with a simple fruit and yogurt dish. I figure that will be the easiest on my stomach.

We eat in silence, before Cade begins, "I can't believe it's already been three years since we first met." He glances up with a smile, "Three years since we met and it's taken me so long to propose." He chuckles.

It takes me a moment to catch on and I blush, offering him a smile, "I know. You really took your time there, didn't you?" I'm smiling, shrugging as I look into his eyes.

He meets my gaze and he looks serious, "I just couldn't get up the courage to tell you before." He leans forward and for a moment, nothing else exists in the room, in this moment, but me and him. The world slows as he continues.

"I have a bit of a reputation as a playboy …  I thought you'd reject me." He shrugs, a sheepish look on his face, "Good thing you didn't."