Overlooked(50)

"This is not the time to gloat, asshole. What do you know?" I narrow my eyes at him. "What have you been hiding from me? We are supposed to be boys, brothers."

"David would sue the fuck out of us if he found out you were fucking his wife. And he would have a decent case against us. It was self-preservation."

"You're a real piece of shit, know that?"

"I think you should go." Paxton opens his laptop and shuffles around some papers. "I've got trial in the morning."

"I don't give a shit." I slam the lid of his laptop closed. "Paxton. Please. How is she?"

Paxton exhales slowly and checks his watch. He's at war with himself for reasons I still can't fucking comprehend. All I can think is she's dying and panic starts to set in.

"David's been harassing the fuck out of her. Threats, showing up at her place drunk, texting her at odd hours. A few weeks ago, he went over to her place and asked to talk over a drink. She went to get dressed to go out and came back to find him naked. She lost her shit over it, said she'd call the cops."

David's story. I knew it was bullshit. I knew it. I was so tied up with shit I didn't give her enough credit. Christ.

"David showed me pictures of them fucking from that night."

"That's disturbing as hell. But different night. She slept with him once before mediation started, some sort of drunken-moment-of-weakness fuck, and he went nuts. I guess he was pissed she wouldn't fuck him anymore. And then you put him on TV to tell some dumbass story about her wanting his nuts to get money."

"You fucking told me-"

"I didn't think you'd do shit. You were so up her ass, I thought you were a better goddamn person than that. I figured you'd just toss around some bullshit, a few harmless pictures she could easily deflect. I took plenty of shots that looked friendly if you ever fucking looked at them. Enough to protect the firm and her. But you were too goddamn busy thinking with your dick that you made a mess of all of it."

I'm so shocked I don't think I could come up with a comeback if I he paid me.

"Whatever. She'll move on, you'll find another bar whore to bang, and all this mess will end. Kate's too good for your ass, anyway."

"Did she really like me?"

"I am not getting involved in your stupid shit. Absolutely not." Paxton reopen his laptop. "Bro, we can talk this shit out later, but I've really got court in the morning."

"I'm not a monster, you know." I find myself saying as I stand. "You could have fucking talked to me."

"Aren't you, though?" Paxton asks, staring me down. "Look at what you've done so far."

Try as I might, I can't come up with something to prove him wrong. So I leave.





CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

KATE



Doctors' offices are a special place of hell on any normal day, but my first OB appointment feels bigger and more awful. The office is bright and cheery, with home-improvement TV playing in the background and big bright peonies on all the flat surfaces. Bright, cheery and terrible.

Women with huge, bulging bellies surround us on all sides and half a dozen strollers fill all the walking spaces.

I'm hiding in a big hat, a scarf and dark sunglasses. As incognito as I can get in the summer heat. I can feel everyone watching me as I pass through, trying to figure out which LA body I fit.

Thank God I'm not an actress. This would be so much worse. Everyone memorizes their frames so they can easily identify them in the streets.

"This way." The girl at the front desk motions me to follow her after she sees my license. "Private waiting room is back here."

Best news I've heard all day.

"We'll show you the private entrance when you leave so you can use it for the rest of your visits." She smiles brightly and has a swishy ponytail. Everything about her is so cheery and bright, like babies are the best thing in her world. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you." I say awkwardly. Lily tried to say it to me once and I cried. No tears so far, so I call it a step in the right direction.

The private waiting room is thankfully empty. The chairs are nicer, the magazines are more expensive and there are no TVs. Even if it was all home-improvement shows, TV makes me shudder after David's stupid interview played on loop.

Him and all his lies. Eric had to be behind it. The timing was too close for me to think anything else.

"This is kind of exciting." Lily whispers, even though we are alone. "Private waiting room, babies, you know. All that stuff. I never knew how all this worked."

"I wish I didn't have to."

Her face immediately clams up. "Shit. I'm sorry, Kate. This has to be really uncomfortable and I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, no. It's okay." I reassure her without really feeling like it. "I didn't mean to make you think …  it's just weird, you know? I don't feel like this is really happening. Until now, I could pretend that maybe I just had a stomach virus. None of it was real. After this …  it's real."

Lily takes my hand and squeezes it. I'm so freaking grateful for her I could cry. But I'm tired of crying, so I gently smack my cheek instead.

"I need to stop."

"Kate?" A scrubs-clad woman in another bouncy ponytail opens the door and smiles. "Ready to see baby?"

Tears press against my eyeballs and my heart flits like a caged bird, but I take a deep breath and nod. Lily slips her hand in mine and I don't let go as we pass through the bright yellow halls covered in pamphlets about babies and vaginas.

It reminds me of my regular gynecologist, whom I absolutely could not be seen at without the paparazzi swarming. Maybe I can just pretend I am going in for a yearly check-up, not to see the thing swimming in my belly.

"Here we are!" She chirps and ushers us into a room with a giant machine and a screen. "I'm Rayanne, the ultrasound technician. We're going to start with taking a look at baby, so Dr. Reynolds can review them before seeing you. Since you're a little further along than normal for the first appointment, we won't have to use the vaginal ultrasound. How wonderful!"

I stare blankly at her, all her words foreign. I give a small nod. She hands me a dressing gown to cover the lower half of my body and gives me a squeeze on the shoulder when I'm told to lie down on the table.

Apparently, everyone can smell my fear.

"Remember that time we were in college and Brad Heinz paid us fifty bucks to make out at his party?" Lily asks brightly while Rayanne gets the machine up and running. "I would have made out with you for five. Just thought you should know that."   





 

"Thanks." I laugh a little. It sounds high-pitched and insane. "I would have done it for free."

"God, such a one-upper."

"You know me."

"Breathe, Kate. You'll be okay. Like when we made out the first time. It feels scary at first, but then it turns out to be just fine. This will be just fine."

"I hope so." I whisper.

Rayanne exposes my belly and talks a mile a minute about her nephews and some birthday party they just had. Like this was all totally normal and I wasn't about to have my life turn on its head.

I don't do anything but lay there while she manipulates my body.

"Okay. This might be a little cold." She grins at me and points to the screen next to me. "You'll see everything there. One, two … "

I jump as she coats my belly with something cold and then shoves the ultrasound wand against it. Instantly, the screen goes from all black to static, like it lost the signal. Rayanne moves the stick around, talking to herself

"I think I am going to need the vaginal wand," Rayanne says, furrowing her brow.

Lily squeezes me extra harder for reassurance, but all I can think is maybe I'm not pregnant after all.

"Phew, there he is," Rayanne says, sounding either concerned or shocked. I'm not sure which is better. "How far along did you say you were?"

"Based on my last period, should be about nine weeks?" I shrug a little. "This is all sort of new to me, I'm sorry. Did I get it wrong?"

"Well." Rayanne frowns and starts plucking around the ultrasound machine's keyboard. On the screen, it looks like she's measuring it. Numbers populate around the lines. "Baby does not look nine weeks along. He's measuring closer to five."

"Five?" I whisper. My heart pounds in my ears and I suddenly feel so, so cold. "That can't be right according to the parenting magazines. I haven't had a period in over two months."

"Skipped periods are pretty common if you are undergoing a lot of stress. Which, if the news is right, you have been." Rayanne offers a sad smile. "Stress can shut it down for a month if it wants, and kick back up the following. Developmentally, your little peanut is not nine weeks."

Lily stares at me and gapes. "That means … "

I cover my mouth with my hands. Five weeks? Five weeks would put me nowhere near David. Instead, that would put me with …

Tears well back up in my eyes and it's hard to breathe. I watch Rayanne finish her measurements, while my brain tries to rationalize this.

We always used condoms. Always.

"Are you sure?" Lily finally asks Rayanne.

"Very. Later, it gets more difficult to pinpoint, but it's very accurate in the beginning due to their growth stages." Rayanne finishes and leaves the room to get the doctor.