Outlaw Hearts(169)

He felt as though everything his father had done had been laid on his shoulders. He never dreamed he could feel this way about the man. He had lost Beth, and it was Jake’s fault. He would probably even lose his job here at the ranch. They would lose their home. Parker wouldn’t want them there now. His mother had talked about forgiveness, but how could he feel anything but hatred? In a few short minutes his life had been shattered by a past he’d never known existed. He had trusted his father, looked up to him, held him up as a kind of hero, only to find out he was nothing more than a common, murdering outlaw who had even killed his own father!

He stumbled to his horse. Yes, he would go to St. Louis, but not for the reasons his mother wanted. She had betrayed him too. All these years she had known! Why had she even married the man? He would go to St. Louis and get some answers. He would confront his father with all of this. Maybe, just maybe, this would all get cleared up, and he would still have a chance with Beth, if he could find her. It all depended on what happened at the trial, what was done with his father, what other ugly things would come out about the man.

He headed his horse toward home. He would need to clean up and change, repack. It made him sick to think of going to an empty house, all the laughter and happiness and togetherness gone. There would be no more nights alone in the mountains with his father, no more hunting together, working together, sharing their feelings.

So, now he knew why so many questions had been left unanswered. After all the years of togetherness, all the talks alone over night campfires, he realized now that his father had never really shared himself at all. It had all been a lie, an unforgivable lie.

***

Beth lay curled up in bed, shivering at the news the doctor had given her. It couldn’t be possible! She had been so sure she was only sick over her separation from Lloyd. If only she could find a way to talk to him, to explain! How could she go on living without Lloyd? How could she face never seeing him again? It wasn’t fair of her father to whisk her away so quickly, not even to allow her to talk to Lloyd just once more. It wasn’t fair that Lloyd wouldn’t know she was going to have his child.

She had been in Denver eight days, eight days that had changed her life. Aunt Trudy was being good to her, but she could feel the woman’s consternation. Why didn’t you talk to me? the woman had asked her a thousand times. I could have told you, child, that it takes only one moment of passion to become pregnant. How could you have done such a thing? You’re so terribly young and impressionable. Your father never should have allowed you to see so much of that boy. It’s obvious now that he’s from bad seed. That evil young man took advantage of your love and your trust.

Nothing she said in Lloyd’s defense seemed to matter. She had cried and begged her father not to make her go away, but the very day the soldiers had come and said those awful things about Lloyd’s father, her own father had packed her into the carriage and whisked her off to the train at Colorado Springs and on to Aunt Trudy’s. On the train she had become violently ill, and had suffered the same sickness every day since. Her father had become so alarmed that he called in a doctor, who, after a thorough examination, asked the embarrassing question of when she had had her last period. It had been at least six weeks ago, before that first time she and Lloyd had loved each other by Fisher’s Creek. Then came the even more embarrassing question. Had she been “indiscreet” with some young man? Her tears and her crimson face had given her away.

She had never known such fury from her father when he found out about her and Lloyd. Even if none of this had happened with his father, the man had roared, in spite of how much I liked the boy, I would have had his hide for this! I have a feeling Jake would have too! What makes it worse is all this mess with Jake! You’re carrying the grandson of a murderer and a rapist!

She had screamed that she did not believe that of Lloyd’s father. She had never known him to be anything but a good man, a loving father and husband. You know I’m right, Father, she had pleaded. You trusted him to run the ranch almost single-handedly for years! How can you believe all those things so easily now? What kind of friend are you to turn your back on him this way? And you know what a good person Lloyd is!

I only know what the man is wanted for. Things like that don’t happen by accident. I’d like to stick up for the man, and I might testify on his behalf because he saved my life once. But that doesn’t mean I can let my daughter be involved in the whole sordid affair or be married to the man’s son!

There was no arguing with her father, and now there was no denying she was pregnant with Lloyd’s child. Lloyd should know, but her father was watching every move she made. She knew Lloyd would marry her in an instant if he knew. She had never been so miserable, and she wondered how it was possible to cry so many tears.