Once Upon A Half-Time 2(20)
“You didn’t tell him?” Lindsey said.
“Tell me what?” He grunted. “That this wedding is out of control?”
“—He reigns from Heaven above—” The song crescendoed.
Mandy bit her lip. “I didn’t know I was supposed to tell him the guest list shifted. I redid it and gave it to Mom.”
“You are the liaison here,” Sandra snapped. “I expected that you would inform your father of all the changes to the bridal party and our plans.”
“But Lindsey said—”
“Don’t make excuses. Your sister is upset enough.” Sandra pointed a finger at Conrad. “It’s thirty tables of eight. And you will give your daughter the centerpieces she wants.”
Conrad laughed. “I am not spending five hundred dollars for a centerpiece.”
“—But Brett isn’t willing to give up on his bride-to-be. Even with a one hundred and four degree fever and hallucinations, he crawls to the altar—”
“Oh, you certainly will,” Sandra said.
“They’re flowers. Put something in a jar and drop a couple candles.”
Lindsey shrieked. “Mom, do you hear him? My wedding will smell like Citronella!”
“Like the devil it will!”
“—Our God is an awesome God—”
Jesus. I turned off the television. The gospel music synced from someone’s phone, and I was pretty sure the song stayed on repeat. Mandy didn’t notice, and her bottom lip started to quiver.
My dad stepped forward, tapping a hand against his bible. “Let’s sit and discuss this. Flowers and decorations are special to the bride, but do you know what’s more special?” He smiled. “A loving family, working hard to make her day as joyous as the joy she brought to their lives.”
I didn’t have to laugh. Mandy scoffed first.
Then the fireworks started.
“Hear that, Conrad? You do want your little girl to feel joyous, don’t you?”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Don’t you dare take the Lord’s name in vain!” Sandra scolded him. “We have a man of God in the house!”
“Good. Maybe he’ll turn some water into wine so we can save money on this ridiculous wedding!”
Bryce’s mom raised a hand. “Actually…the wine is paid for by the groom’s family…”
Sandra grunted at her husband. “Oh, this is so like you, Conrad.”
“—With wisdom, power, and love—”
Was the song getting louder, or was the house starting to implode? And why the hell didn’t anyone pop some popcorn for this shit show?
Mandy bit her lip. “Dad, don’t. Drop it.”
“I’m like what?” Conrad extended his arms. “I’m the only one in this family who ever cared about money.”
“Don’t argue money in front of the guests,” Sandra scolded.
Mandy covered her face. “Mom, please.”
“Did you plan to spring all these extra costs onto my side of the bill now, so I couldn’t argue them with guests in the house?”
“Why are you even arguing?” She pointed at a sobbing, particularly snotty Lindsey. “This is the most precious day of your daughter’s life. Why would you deny her happiness?”
“Because the seven thousand dollar wedding gown should still be making her pretty damn happy.”
Mandy covered her face. “Nine grand.”
“Nine?”
Lindsey bared her teeth and launched from the couch. Bryce caught her before she lunged for Mandy’s hair. “You little traitor—”
Mandy threw the remote and bolted away.
“Another two thousand dollars?” Conrad grunted. “We can’t afford all this. It’s only a party.”
Lindsey, Sandra, and my mother all gasped. Conrad apologized immediately, but the damage was done.
Marcus chuckled, despite Bryce’s shushing. “Nice knowing ya, Conrad.”
Sandra’s voice rumbled low. “I should have prepared for your selfishness. Everything is money money money to you. Payday was more exciting than our honeymoon!”
Mandy stood, forcing a smile as my parents slurped their scalding coffee. Second degree esophageal burns were preferable to the awkwardness of excusing themselves from the room.
Conrad blew his fuse, and probably an artery in his neck. His eyes bulged, and he pointed a thick finger at Sandra. “Of course I looked forward to pay day. About as much as you’ll look forward to your alimony check!”
“Don’t you throw that in my face,” she said.
“Get a job!”
“Support your family!”
“Stop bleeding it dry and maybe we’ll have a chance to save some money!”