Once Upon A Half-Time 1(77)
Why his mother wasn’t around.
Why I’d never let her near him again.
I lowered my gaze. “Victoria was the head cheerleader. Popular girl. We’d dated for a year, and I got her pregnant. But she didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t go to the doctor.” My voice hardened. “Didn’t stop partying on the weekends. No one knew, including me.”
“She must have been scared.”
“Only because her cheerleading uniform couldn’t fit anymore.”
Christ. I was supposed to be zip-lining, paintballing, and fucking the hell out of my wife. The last thing I’d expected was to relive these memories.
But Victoria had left another half-dozen messages on my phone. I’d have to face her again, if only so I didn’t lose my shit if she got too close to Sebastian.
I released a ragged breath. “Everyone knew I was bound for the pros, even at sixteen. My mom had done everything she could to help me. She took second jobs to pay for trainers and saved every penny to get new equipment, to let me travel on an all-star team, to find good doctors if I was injured. She sacrificed so much for this…but then I had to tell her I got a girl pregnant.” My mouth dried. I hated remembering it. “I told her, and it nearly broke her heart. The look she gave me…”
Elle took my hand. “Lachlan…”
“The night I told my mom, Victoria panicked. She was seven months in, and finally beginning to show. She ended up in the hospital after she tried to terminate the pregnancy at home.”
“Oh my God.”
“We’re just fucking lucky nothing happened to Bast. She nearly killed him and herself…and she said she did it because she was getting fat.” The word stung. “We learned later she was intentionally starving herself to stay slim. Made her sick. I get she was young and scared…” I shook my head. “But I can’t forgive her for trying to hurt him. I won’t.”
“But she had the baby,” Elle said.
Because she was under doctor supervision. “Her parents wanted to put him up for adoption.”
“And you?”
“I wanted him. He was mine. I was a fucked-up kid then, some hot-shot asshole jock, but I knew right from wrong. I told her I’d take him, and Victoria said fine. She wanted nothing to do with him. Ever. Terminated her rights. She gave birth, and I cut her out of our lives.”
“So you had a baby in high school?” Elle asked.
The shame burned me. “I tried, but I was an idiot kid with too many opportunities. College coaches came to watch me play—promising full-rides to any college I wanted. I was seventeen, and NFL scouts were telling me I’d go pro after college. That I had potential. I was gifted.”
“You are.”
Yeah, right. “My mom stopped me. I was prepared to drop out of school, get a job, take care of him. But she knew best. I wouldn’t have been a good father then.”
Elle stared at me, amazed. “You’d have walked away from football?”
“Yeah, and we would have had a shit life with no money, no chances, no opportunities to show for it. Mom fought with me on the day he was born. She said I could do more for him if I stayed in school, went to college, and played football. I’d make it into the pros like we’d planned, and then I’d be able to provide for him. Food, clothing, shelter, education. Everything millions of dollars could buy.”
Elle understood, nodded without any judgement. “Your mother adopted him?”
“Yeah. Raised him as her own. We hid the truth from everyone—friends, family. I transferred high-schools. She switched jobs and pretended Bast was her son. No one knew. No one asked any questions. We kept it secret so no college would think twice about offering me a scholarship.”
And there it was.
The truth.
Was it horrible or just heart-breaking?
Elle went quiet, thinking, watching me as I breathed hard and ragged.
Her voice was a sweetness that might have convinced me everything would be okay. “I think you did the right thing. He’s a great kid. He’s happy and healthy, and you can do so much for him now.”
“He doesn’t have a father.”
“But he has an amazing big brother.”
That wasn’t enough. “It’s not the same. I grew up without a father. It sucked. Never knowing how to act, how to treat people, when to put on a fucking condom. My mom raised me well, but I gotta show Bast how to be a good man.”
“And you will.”
“My mother sacrificed everything for us. Bast’s life is fucked up because of me.” I held her stare. “I don’t have a choice now, Red. I have to make this work. For them. I can’t blow this chance.”