Not a Chance(104)

"I know, baby," Arden said. She pushed his hair back off his forehead and ran her fingers through it over and over.

"I know I got no legal right to the baby and I would have given her back. But there's just things Tonya doesn't know. Like how you gotta cut the feet out of her pajamas or she won't sleep. And you can't give her her bath too early or she won't sleep. And after she eats she has to play a while or else she won't sleep. What if she gets sick and Tonya doesn't know what to do? What if they can't afford to take her to the doctor? And what if they decide they don't want her anymore and they...they..." He didn't finish the sentence.

Arden kept stroking his hair. Slowly his eyelids grew heavy and closed.

"I wish I could have said goodbye," he said softly. Arden kept stroking him until he dozed off.

Then she got up and dressed and went to school, making sure Dustin was awake before she left.





CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO



Arden spent another week with Travis just like those first few days. He gradually came out of his despondency to the point that he didn't look like he was on autopilot anymore. According to Dustin, he engaged with customers at the shop. He showed interest in the cars he was fixing. And he even flirted with a young mother of two whom he met at the grocery store.

Still, he was sad and tired when he got home. Arden continued to cook for him and watch him. Dustin seemed to need the break because he snuck off before dinner almost every night. At the end of her second week all-but living there, Travis came home alone. He dropped his keys on the coffee table and went to the kitchen where Arden was standing in front of the stove, a recipe book in one hand, and big spoon in the other. She was trying to make gravy to go with the chicken she was frying.

She glanced up at Travis and smiled before returning her gaze to the recipe in her hand. Travis leaned on the bar separating the kitchen from the little dining area.

"Where's Dustin?" Arden asked.

"On a date."

Arden looked up, then. "With who?"

Travis shrugged. "I asked and he told me to mind my own fucking business. So I assume with Emma."

"Why would you assume that?"

Travis shrugged again. "Because he's been to see her every night for the past week. And he wouldn't be so sensitive about my asking if it were anyone else."

Arden stirred the gravy in the pan. "Well I hope it is Emma. He seems like a smart guy. It's about time he comes to his senses."

"Maybe she's not the girl for him."

"Travis!" She shot him a look. "That's a ridiculous thing to say. Of course she's the girl for him. Some people are just meant to be together."

"Like you and me?"

She didn't look up at him. She knew he wasn't smiling. She had the feeling he was getting tired of having her around. Despite all the free food and sex he was getting. "Yeah," she replied. "Like you and me."

"Is that what all this has been about? You trying to prove yourself to me?"

Arden slammed the spoon on the counter and marched over to him. She stood across the bar from him and looked him in the eye. "All of this has been about keeping you from doing something stupid in your grief. Dustin can't stay with you all the time. I wanted to be here with you through this because I love you and you're my friend. I don't have ulterior motives and I'm insulted that you would suggest that I do."

His expression didn't change. A mixture of despondency and boredom. So far from the Travis she loved and longed for. "I'm not in any position to restart our relationship," he said.

"I'm not asking you to."

He looked down, then. "It's making me feel guilty, all you're doing for me. I think it's time you go back to sleeping at your own place."

Arden's heart sank in spite of herself. "I'll go when Dustin and I agree it's okay for you to be alone. I'll sleep on the couch if it'll make you feel better."

He surprised her by reaching across the counter and taking her hand. He lifted it to his lips. "I want you to have dinner with me tonight. Because you've gotten pretty damn good at fried chicken and I'm really hungry. Then I want you to go home. I appreciate all you've done. But I'm going to be okay now."

She felt the tears she hated so much stinging her eyes. "Travis, I can make you happy, I know I can."

He laughed, then, and took a step back. "Isn't this quite the role reversal. I'm going to take a shower."

Arden took the opportunity to shed a few tears while he was in the shower and she was finishing up dinner. They ate together in silence and then she packed her things. Travis wanted her to go home, but she insisted on waiting until Dustin got back. Then she went back to her apartment to find Emma curled up on the couch in her jammies about to watch a movie. It was a welcome sight. Arden ran upstairs, changed into her own pajamas and then joined Emma.