Nobody's Baby but Mine(129)
“I’ve never said I don’t believe you’re worthy.”
“You don’t have to say it. I know what you’re thinking. Worthy people work.”
“You work.”
It was as if she hadn’t spoken. “You’re a physicist. That’s worthy work. My father’s a doctor; Ethan’s a minister. The guys down at the Mountaineer are teachers, plumbers, backhoe operators. They tend bar or build houses. They work. But what am I?”
“You’re a football player.”
“And then what?”
She caught her breath, still unable to believe he was willing to admit his professional career was coming to an end. “Only you know the answer to that.”
“But, you see, I don’t know the answer. I don’t have any idea what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. God knows, I’ve got enough money tucked away for three lifetimes, but I’ve never seen money as the mark of anybody’s worth.”
She finally understood. All along, Cal’s refusal to acknowledge either his age or the fact that he’d soon be forced to retire hadn’t been rooted in pigheadedness, but despair over finding work that would satisfy him.
She didn’t know why she was so surprised. This was the same man who’d insisted on marrying a woman he hated just so his child would be legitimate. Beneath all that macho strut, Cal had a strong set of old-fashioned values. Those values dictated that a man without worthy work didn’t deserve respect.
“Cal, there are so many things you could do. You could coach, for example.”
“I’d be a terrible coach. You might not have noticed, but I don’t have a lot of patience with stupidity. If I told somebody something once and he didn’t get it, I wouldn’t have the patience to tell him a second time. That’s not the way to build a successful football team.”
“What about Kevin? He says he’s learned more about football from you than anyone.”
“That’s because he catches on the first time.”
“You’re very good on television. Why don’t you think about broadcasting?”
“I can’t work up any enthusiasm for it. Once in a while it’s okay, but not for a life’s work. Not for me.”
“You have a degree in biology. You could use that.”
“My degree is fifteen years old. I don’t remember a darned thing. I only got it because I like science and the outdoors.”
“You have a lot of experience in business. Maybe you could start a company.”
“Business bores me. Always has. Always will.” He glanced over at her, but didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I’ve been thinking that maybe I could work on my golf game. In a couple of years, I might be able to qualify for the pro tour.”
“I thought you were a mediocre golfer.”
“Not exactly mediocre,” he said defensively. “A little better than that.” He sighed. “Never mind. Stupid idea.”
“You’ll think of something.”
“Darn right I will, so if that’s what’s holding you back, put it right out of your mind. I’ve got no intention of spending the rest of my life lazing around and living off my money. I couldn’t dishonor you like that.”
He meant that he couldn’t dishonor himself. She wondered how long this had been twisting away inside him? “Your future job prospects aren’t what’s between us, Cal. You still don’t understand. I can’t stand having my love tossed back in my face again. It’s too painful.”
He flinched. “You’ll never know how sorry I am about that. I had a panic reaction. Some people take a lot longer to grow up than others, and I guess I’m one of them.” He reached over and covered her hand with his. “You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don’t believe it, but I’m going to prove it to you.”
Releasing her, he swung the Blazer into a parking place in front of the hardware store, then cursed softly under his breath. “It’s closed for the night. I didn’t even think about that.”
“You’re bringing me to the hardware store to prove you love me?”
“I promise I’ll take you dancing soon. Rock and roll, not country and western.” He got out of the car, came around to open the door for her, and drew her out to stand next to him. “Come on.”
Completely mystified, she let him lead her into the narrow alley that ran between the pharmacy and hardware store. When they reached the back door, he tested the knob, but the door was locked. The next thing she knew, he’d kicked it in.
A security alarm shrieked.