Nobody's Baby but Mine(128)

“I believe him, too,” Lynn said.

“Me, too,” Jim offered.

Ethan remained silent.

Jane looked toward him as if he were her lifeline.

He regarded her with a hint of apology. “I’m sorry, Jane, but there isn’t even any question about this.”

She had let herself entertain the fantasy that they were her family, looking out for her best interests, but now that the chips were down, blood called out only to blood. They weren’t the ones who’d wake up every morning wondering if this would be the day her husband was going to lose interest in her.

“You’re all wasting your breath.” Cal leaned forward, resting his lower arms on his knees and speaking in a hard flat voice. “Bottom line is, she’s a scientist, and scientists require proof. That’s what you want, isn’t it, Jane? You want me to prove my feelings to you, just like you prove those equations you scribble all over the house.”

“Love doesn’t work that way,” Lynn pointed out.

“She won’t accept that, Mom. Jane needs something tangible to stick in her equations. And you know why that is? Because nobody’s ever really loved her before, and she doesn’t believe it can happen now.”

She drew back in the chair as if he’d struck her. There was a ringing in her ears, a searing sensation inside her head.

Cal shot to his feet. “You want proof of the way I feel? Okay, I’m going to give it to you.” In three quick steps he was looming over her. Without warning, he swept her into his arms and carried her toward the door.

“Stop it, Cal! Put me down.”

Lynn jumped to her feet. “Cal, this isn’t a good idea.”

“I’ve done it your way,” he shot back. “Now I’m doing it mine.” He kicked the front door open and carried her outside.

“You can’t settle this with sex,” Jane hissed. She gathered her anger around her as a shield to protect her broken heart. Why didn’t he understand he couldn’t use strong-arm tactics to solve something this complex? He was ripping her apart, and he didn’t even seem to be aware of it.

“Who said anything about sex? Or is that wishful thinking?”

She sputtered with outrage as he bore her off the front porch and began walking toward the road. Although she wasn’t close to being petite, he acted as if she weighed hardly anything. His breathing remained normal, his arms steady, even as he carried her down the road toward three cars that blocked the way.

He lowered her to the ground in front of his Jeep, pulled a batch of keys from his pocket, and threw several sets on the hood. Then he steered her toward his father’s Blazer, which blocked the other two cars. “Get in.”

“Cal, this is just postponing the inevitable.”

He pushed her inside and shut the door.

She turned her head to the window. If she wasn’t careful, he would wear her down, and she would agree to stay with him. That would be disastrous. Better to endure the pain now than have to go through it again when he realized he’d made a mistake.

The Professor needs something tangible to stick in her equations. And you know why that is? Because nobody’s ever really loved her before, and she doesn’t believe it can happen now.

She rejected Cal’s words. This was his problem, not hers. She wasn’t so lacking in self-esteem that she would throw away love that was honestly offered. Maybe it was true that no one had ever really loved her, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t ready to grab it when the real thing came along.

Did it?

Cal turned out onto the highway, interrupting the painful path of her thoughts. “I appreciate the fact that you didn’t air all our dirty linen in front of my family.”

“I can’t imagine there’s even a piece of underwear elastic they haven’t seen.”

“It’s okay, Jane. I won’t snap your head off if you bring up the subject. I know I’ve done that before, but it won’t happen again. It doesn’t take a lot of insight to know that you see me as pretty aimless right now, and I appreciate the fact that you didn’t hit me with that in front of my family.”

“Aimless?”

“Just because I don’t know what I’m going to do when I stop playing ball doesn’t mean I’m not worthy of you. I know you might think that, but everything will change as soon as I get things figured out. I just need a little more time to sort through my options, that’s all.”

She stared at him, flabbergasted. This was the first time he’d acknowledged that he wouldn’t be playing football forever. But what did that have to do with her feelings toward him? Not for a moment had she regarded his lack of plans for the future as a roadblock.