No Strings Attached(8)

“I don’t know.” Micky tried to rely on her standard answer, though that would never fly with Amber.

“I think you do.”

Micky drank again, then said, “It’s just that the concept of… dating a woman is so abstract to me. I might want it quite badly, but I just can’t picture it. I can’t stop thinking about the consequences and about what that would make me.”

Micky witnessed Amber perk up in front of her. She always did that when they reached the crux of a conversation. Amber was the kind of person who drew massive amounts of energy from getting other people to speak their truth—though Micky hadn’t quite reached that point yet.

“What do you think it would make you?” Amber asked, elbows on the table, her gaze resting on Micky, making her uncomfortable.

Micky looked at her hands—anything to get away from Amber’s stare. “A woman who has lived a lie for most of her adult life.”

“That’s where I think your perception lets you down, Micky. I’ve known you for so long. I was your bridesmaid when you married Darren, and I know with 100 percent certainty that you loved him. You were crazy about him. Your marriage was never a lie. I do, however, think you have trouble accepting the possibility that now you’re someone else entirely than you were back then.”

“But how can a person change like that?” The crux was about to hit Micky in the head. “You’re still attracted to the same sex as you’ve always been.” It almost came out as an accusation, while it was actually a compliment.

“But everyone is different, and there’s a whole spectrum of sexual attraction out there. One doesn’t have to exclude the other, and I strongly believe that, over time, we all shift a little or a lot. Life is complex. Human beings are complex. Sometimes, trying to analyze it all to death is not the best way forward,” Amber said.

“Have you ever felt your preference shift?” Micky asked, though she wanted to remember to question Amber about what she thought the best way forward actually was.

Amber scrunched her lips together. “Sure. I used to date stuck-up bitches who treated me like dirt, women I wouldn’t even look at twice now. That preference has surely changed.”

“But at least you stayed within the same sex.”

“So.” Amber quirked up her eyebrows. “We can theorize about this all we want—and we will—but you’re going to have to take the plunge sooner rather than later. I truly think you’re ready, and I do believe that I’m the person who knows you best. I know I can be pushy, and I already pushed you to take that job, because I believe it will make you grow as a person, and now I’m pushing you again.”

“You are one pushy woman, Amber.”

“I prefer to see myself as a gentle nudger, but, perhaps, in this case you’re right. When it comes to my best friend, I think I can allow myself some liberties.” Amber smiled broadly.

“How do you suggest I, er, reach the next level?” Truth be told, Micky wouldn’t know what to do without a friend like Amber in this situation.

“Start by being open to the possibility. Just a small change in mindset can have big consequences. People will pick up on that.” Amber’s eyes started sparkling. “Who knows, maybe Miss Wet Capp will even pick up on it? Though she did come across as rather self-absorbed.”

“I do hope I have the good fortune of going on my very first same-sex date with someone a bit nicer.”

“Would you like me to go through my big rolodex of lesbians and set you up?” Amber still had that twinkle in her eyes. “We shouldn’t aim for someone you’re going to fall head-over-heels with for your first. You want to test the waters a little. Confirm your suspicions and have a bit of fun while doing so.”

“I need to sleep on it.”

“Alternatively, you could confide in your new boss. Kristin and Sheryl must know some eligible bachelorettes.”

“You’re going a little too fast for me now, Amber. Slow down.”

“All right.” Amber winked at her and got up to fetch the bottle of wine out of the fridge.

A frisson of excitement ran up Micky’s spine. Could it really be that simple?





CHAPTER FIVE





The next Monday, after having pondered Amber’s words throughout the weekend, Micky had a different kind of spring in her step when she walked to The Pink Bean. Amber had been right. Micky was ready. She was nervous and scared, but she was ready. Her conversation with Amber had left her feeling like the cork had been popped from a bottle of champagne and now all these pent-up emotions came gushing out of her.