No Regrets, No Surrender(33)

She blew out a heady exhale and glanced to find Zach’s hot gaze on them, amusement and desire battling for dominance in his expression. Her nipples tightened at the want in his face and she curled her toes inside her workout shoes. His expression promised they would be naked before the day was over. Her growling stomach interrupted and heat rushed up to her face.

“I’m starving.” She pressed out another deep breath and reached for the coffee cup. She could do this. She would eat and enjoy them and figure this out.



***



“She doesn’t think it can work.” Logan grabbed a bag of sand from the trunk and carried it easily over his right shoulder. On and off rain over the last three days had done a number on the pitcher’s mound. It surprised Zach when Logan volunteered to help rather than stay with Jazz for her physical therapy.

“Her recovery will take time.” He hauled his own load of sand out toward the field. They’d picked up five bags, which was probably too many, but it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

“No, us. The three of us. She doesn’t think it will work.” Logan’s barely-there limp seemed more pronounced. They’d grab the wheelbarrow on the way out for the next load.

“What did you do?” He dropped his bag next to the mound and stared at his best friend. The man pushed too hard. He’d forced his way through his own recovery, fighting every step of the way, and seemed determined to do the same thing to Jazz.

“I didn’t do anything. She’s been pulling away from us. I told her I wasn’t going to let her do that. She thinks her scars make her ugly. She’s worried about how the TBI is affecting her physically. I wanted her to know that she’s gorgeous and that hell yes, I still want her.” The note of defensive worry echoed in the way Logan slung the bag onto the ground.

“Yeah, but the two of you were together last night….”

“Because I urged it. I didn’t really give her a chance to say no. But something is off—she’s fighting harder to get on her feet. Which is good.” Logan didn’t pace. He went the completely opposite route to almost total motionlessness.

Shoving the baseball cap out of his eyes, Zach studied his friend. “But?”

“But what if she’s pushing because she wants to get away from us?”

The thought never occurred to him. It sounded insane. Why would Jazz want to get away? Get back to work, that made sense. “Did she say that?”

“Not in as many words, no. But she did say it wasn’t going to work—that if she was with me, she had to be with you—I didn’t really let her finish it. Fuck. I shouldn’t have pushed.” For Logan to be questioning himself worried Zach almost as much as what it was that Jazz said or didn’t.

Sliding the knife from his back pocket, he flicked out a blade and cut open one of the sandbags. “Let me ask you this. How did you think it was going to work with the three of us?” He didn’t know his own answer to that question. It occurred to him that he’d made a lot of assumptions. The future wasn’t something either planned for when they’d been in the service.

“The way it did in Vegas. The three of us together.” The answer came swiftly. And so did the suspicion. “Did you have other plans?”

“Not particularly. She’s—everything. But we haven’t spent more than a few hours with her together until now. We had those weekends, but it was like you had yours and then I had mine. Talking to her, getting her emails—we shared those.” He cut into the second bag before clicking the knife closed.

Logan grabbed the bag Zach opened and began spreading the sand. The morning sun shone down on the hazy, humid morning. If it kept up with the rain, he was going to have to put in a request for a tarp to cover the field. “Right. Does it bother you that she was in my bed last night?”

“No.” But that wasn’t completely honest. The twinge in his gut warned him of the lie and he sighed. “Okay, maybe a little. But more because I wanted to join—and didn’t think I should push it.”

“You were welcome, you know that, right?” Logan stared at him.

“By you, sure. But would she have wanted it?” It seemed neither of them had an answer to that one. “Look, if she only wants one of us, I don’t have a problem with that.” Yeah, that was more than a little lie. He wasn’t sure he knew how to untangle his emotions from the woman he was in love with.

“I’m not sure.” His best friend shook his head grimly. “We can make this work. We just have to convince her we can—if you’re still in?”