No Regrets, No Surrender(30)
“In or out, but you’re killing the mood.” Logan didn’t spare his best friend a look. The guilt and confusion edging into her wanton expression begged his attention.
“I am heading out to pick up some things. You ladies need anything?” Zach’s words said he was leaving, his tone asked to stay. Logan didn’t care, but he wasn’t as certain about Jazz.
“Sweetheart?” He gave her a nudge. It was her call, if she wanted ménage shenanigans, then that’s what they’d give her.
“No. I mean…no, thank you.” She stole another look at Zach.
“’Kay. You two have fun.” The door’s soft thump indicated he left.
“Did it bother you that he walked in?” Logan wanted to understand what was going on inside her head. She was still dressed. He was buck-ass naked. “It was just a kiss.”
“It shouldn’t…I mean, we’ve all…well, I’ve been with both of you, right?” Was she asking him or telling him?
“It’s not a matter of would or should, it’s a matter of does.” His balls ached, but he shoved their demands aside.
“Most men are more possessive…they don’t want to be excluded.” She began to lean back, but Logan still held her face. He gave her a half an inch. No more. He liked feeling her pressed against him.
“I am possessive as hell. You ever look at another guy the way you look at us and you may find his continued good health in serious question.”
“But not Zach?” Her brow furrowed. Was she really asking this question? Hadn’t the way they met set those rules into motion in the first place?
“There’s no jealousy with us.” He massaged her face. The frown and confusion needed to go. Zach was his brother, his best friend, and the lighter hearted side of his soul. It had taken him years to understand they were flip sides of the same coin. “We don’t need it, we don’t compete, and we never have.”
“So you could walk in on the two of us having sex and it wouldn’t bother you?” For whatever reason, she needed these questions answered.
“Nope. I might want to join in—I might even watch, especially if his hairy ass isn’t on top.” He grinned. “But it’s just as hot to watch you getting off…he got you off in the shower a few weeks ago—”
Realization slammed into him.
“Babe? Is that what this is about? You got off with Zach in the shower and worried that it would upset me?”
She glanced down to stare fixedly at his chest. “Yes and no. That night in Vegas—it was amazing. It was everything I wanted it to be and more.”
Hell yeah, it had been. He’d walked in that hotel room with negative expectations and walked back out a changed and proud man.
“I never asked myself what came after. I went to Afghanistan. I saw you in Germany. I saw Zach in Italy. Logan—how the hell is this supposed to work?” The hesitancy in her voice flattened to crisp anxiety. “You can’t marry two men. You can’t choose between them. If I have sex with you, I have to have sex with him and then it gets even more complicated. You throw in the fact that I’m a cripple, and I’m leaving the two of you to decide who gets to babysit me.”
“Whoa.” Logan held up a hand. He had to get a grip on his temper. “Who the hell said you had to do anything you didn’t want to do? Having sex with either of us doesn’t mean a damn thing unless you want it to mean something. But let’s be clear, you call yourself a cripple again and I’ll kick your ass.”
Her jaw tightened and flexed. Heat flared in her eyes—good, he’d pissed her off.
“I’m a mess, Logan. I still can’t walk…I’m working on getting my hand to cooperate, and my last assessment recommended six months to a year. A year. They’re recommending that I accept a permanent disability discharge.”
“That sucks.” And it deflated his anger. Permanent disability would earn her benefits and an honorable discharge from the service. No more trips to Afghanistan. No more duty in the line of fire. No more doing the job she enjoyed. It sucked. But sucking had benefits, too. “It’s not a final decision. It’s a recommendation.”
His disability discharge was final. He couldn’t pass the physical now, even if he tried. He could do most of it, but the uneven ground would throw him. It sucked. But he accepted it, although the news was a bitter pill and left an acrid taste in the mouth.
He imagined it was the same for her. No wonder she withdrew from them and painted herself a cripple. He tugged her close and kissed her, hard and fierce. Heat swelled between them and when her hands roamed down his body, he groaned.