No Longer Safe(88)

I had to put all my effort into not slipping over in the crunchy banks of dirty snow at the side of the road. I thought again about the duplicity of snow; hiding things, but also revealing what was normally invisible – footprints, for example. I thought back to the trail we’d made getting Charlie’s body to the lake in the wheelbarrow and wondered if the thaw would throw up fresh clues that would link us to Charlie’s death.

There was another sound behind me now, like a small tractor. I came to a standstill to swap my suitcase from one hand to the other and as I turned I saw two headlights, like beasts’ eyes, in the road. It was a Land Rover.

Stuart wound down the window and called out, trailing alongside me as I started walking again. ‘I’ve found you – what are you doing?’

‘I was going to ring you as soon as I was on the train.’

‘Train to where?’

‘Fort William to start with.’

‘What – without saying goodbye? What’s happened?’

I stopped and dropped my bags. ‘It’s time for me to go, that’s all.’

He rubbed his forehead, dislodging his cap. ‘What’s going on? Are you hurt? Was it Karen?’

I pulled myself up tall. ‘I’m okay – I just can’t carry on here anymore.’

‘I can’t let you go like this – this is awful.’ He pulled over onto the verge and got out to bundle my bags in the back. He wrapped his arms around me. ‘Come on…’ He opened the passenger door.

I climbed in, my body inert. ‘I didn’t want to leave you behind, but I didn’t feel I had much choice,’ I said.

‘You could come to mine,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to stay with them.’

‘I don’t want to be anywhere near here,’ I said.

‘But you’ll be safe with me at my cottage.’

I hesitated. ‘What are you doing out at this hour? How did you know I was here?’

‘Karen rang me.’

‘Karen rang you? How did she get your number?’

‘She rang the cottage…maybe the owner gave it to her. Karen said you’d gone and she was worried about you.’

Stuart switched up the heater and I dropped my head back against the headrest. I didn’t have the energy to insist on getting to Fort William. He was hunched over the wheel, giving me a sideways look every few yards with concern in his eyes and deep grooves in his brow.

‘What did Karen say exactly?’

‘That you had a kind of seizure in the bathroom.’

Bloody Karen. ‘That you’ve been sleepwalking and doing strange things during the night,’ he went on. ‘Is this true – is she telling lies again?’

I shut my eyes. She’d taken it upon herself to tell him about the sleepwalking. She was making me sound like I was completely off my rocker. ‘You know I’ve been having the occasional panic attack,’ I said, too tired not to sound defensive. ‘Well, I had one in the bathroom that’s all.’

‘She said you completely blacked out – she thought you’d had a stroke.’

‘She’s exaggerating,’ I huffed. ‘What did she tell you about the sleepwalking?’

‘That she’d found you in the kitchen in the middle of the night…that you’d been taking sleeping tablets…acting out of character.’

‘Out of character! Oh, great!’ I banged my fist on the dashboard, then realised it only confirmed any suggestion that I was unstable.

‘She said you’re still troubled by the headaches,’ he added. ‘More than you let on. Is that true?’

‘I’ve had a few headaches,’ I admitted. ‘But, you’re the one who told me Karen has a criminal record and isn’t to be trusted – why are you paying so much attention to her all of a sudden?’

‘Because I’m worried about you – because you haven’t denied what she told me.’

‘I’m fine. I’ve just had enough – that’s all.’

He pulled away from the next junction with a squeal of the wheels. ‘We’ll get a decent breakfast inside you and talk this thing through properly. Then we’ll decide.’

I didn’t appear to have a great deal of choice, short of throwing myself out of a moving vehicle. I said nothing further until we got to his cottage. I was angry that he’d intervened but also touched that he cared enough to rush out and find me.

We left the bags in the car and he unlocked his front door. The sun had come up by now, splitting open the sky like a wide yawn.

‘Bacon and eggs, or cereal?’ he offered.

‘Just coffee, please,’ I said, as he led me through to the kitchen.