Never The Bride(28)

'Ok, do me,' she ordered as I stood there shivering. Of all the days to need a freezing cold outdoor shower, we had to pick a crisp winter afternoon. She screamed like she was being murdered as I turned up the pressure to blast her clean. 'I hate you, Abbie Carter!'

'Oh, shut up,' I laughed.

'Hello?' came a soft and sultry voice. 'Is everything ok?' We turned to face the paved drive that led down the side of Georgie's house to her dog-grooming cabin. Our new neighbour was leaning on the wide wooden gate, watching us with an amused smile on her face.

'Are you kidding me?' muttered Georgie under her breath as she flashed me a glare.

'Sorry to interrupt your  …  whatever it is you're doing in your wet underwear, but from the screams, I thought you might need some help.'

'We're awesome, thanks,' I replied, crossing my arms over my chest. I wished I could cover more of my non-bikini-season body and seriously hoped I'd shaved my legs recently. Even without make-up, all fresh faced, this girl was a knockout.

'Just hosing off cow manure,' Georgie added, putting her hands on her hips as she tossed her wet hair back over her shoulder and tried to strike a sexy pose as she pulled in her stomach.

'We were walking the dog in the field,' I lied, 'when the muck spreader went past.'

'Really, and I thought it was that you were lying like army commandos, spying on me through my hedge,' she grinned.

'I really hate you right now, Abbie,' Georgie glared in my direction again as I felt my cheeks flame. 'It was her idea,' she added, flicking an accusing thumb at me.

'Don't worry, my reputation precedes me. I'm used to people wanting to see the "hussy" next door. I'm Charlotte, by the way, but most people call me Charlie.' She flashed a warm smile as she held out her hand.

'Georgie Basset. So sorry, it was my stupid best friend's idea. I wanted to come and knock on your door like normal people would,' Georgie advised as she went to shake Charlie's hand.

'I wasn't feeling glamorous and I didn't want you to see me looking a mess, but now you've ended up seeing us in our wet underwear, stinking of cow shit,' I added as I shook her hand too. 'Abbie Carter, and I really am sorry.'

'Don't be. You've just inspired a whole "hot lesbians in the country" novel.'

'Not lesbians,' we both stated firmly.

'Why don't you go and change and come over for a drink? I've no idea where the kettle is, but I've got my shot glasses and some alcohol out.'



       
         
       
        

'A girl with my own priorities,' Georgie laughed.

'We're actually supposed to be heading back to Daphne's next door,' I reminded Georgie, before turning back to Charlie. 'Her husband just died and we were having afternoon tea with her. Why don't you give us ten minutes and head over there instead? She has whisky, as well as hot drinks,' I suggested.

'I won't be intruding?' Charlie asked, her dark brown eyes reminding me of Miller's.

'Trust me, she's eager to meet you too. And from what we learned this afternoon, she'll be grilling you for sex tips when she's ready to get back on the horse. She's not as innocent as she looks. Plus, as the village gossip, your book sales in Dilbury will soon go through the roof.'

'Excellent! Ok, I'll go rummage out a bottle of wine for her. See you in a while.'

'Bye,' we both called as we watched her walk back up Georgie's front drive and head left to her house, her perfectly rounded bottom swaying sexily as she went.

'Owww,' I moaned as Georgie punched me in the arm.

'Great way to impress the sexy new neighbour, dripping wet in my unmatching underwear and stinking of shit. I'm so going to get you back for this.'

'Sing a new tune,' I replied, gathering up my wet clothes after first making sure they were inside out to avoid getting any more poo on me. 'I'm taking the back route home before I'm seen by anyone else. Knowing my luck, Heath will be bush trimming as I walk up the front path in my underwear.'

'At least he could help you out, you're overdue a trim. A wax isn't just seasonal, you know,' Georgie laughed.

I scowled at her, then spun around and squelched my way down her garden path. I headed out through her back gate to the ploughed field and turned left to head along the hedge to my gate. I'd had enough humiliation for one day. At least this way, I'd avoid being seen.

'Hello, Abbie,' came a chorus of amused voices. I stood there mortified, dressed in just my wet underwear, clutching my bundle of clothes in front of me, as a large group of elderly village ramblers walked past me, some of the men eyeing me up and down.

'Ermmm, hel  …  hello,' I stuttered. 'Was a lovely afternoon for a dip in the river, absolutely lovely.'

'In your see-through underwear in the middle of winter?' chuckled Mr. Greggs, the village hall caretaker.

I felt my cheeks burn as I scurried through my gate and ran back to my house before anyone else saw me. Life at the moment just sucked.



Saturday



'What's wrong? You've not been yourself since I arrived yesterday,' Miller asked as he massaged my shoulders. He was sitting on the sofa and I was on the floor leaning back between his legs, as Sumo slept next to him while we watched a film in front of the fire. I drew in a deep breath, trying to pluck up the courage to start the conversation I'd been wanting to have with him since we'd had a disagreement about it. The day Miller had disappeared to clear his head. The day David had died. 

'Where are we going, Miller?'

'Back up to bed when the film finishes?' he replied, sounding confused. I shuffled forwards and spun around to sit cross-legged on the floor as I looked up at him.

'I meant us. We've been dating for thirteen months and I'm not sure how much longer I can do this long-distance thing, snatching time with each other here and there.'

'I know,' he sighed, scrubbing his hands up over his handsome face, then running his hands through his ruffled hair. 'I've been thinking about it too, especially since our discussion on Christmas Day. You really won't consider trying out New York with me?'

'How can I? We've already discussed this. There's my job, and I don't want to think about retraining yet in case I hate living over there. Then there's Sumo, who can't fly, and Daphne, who needs me, and  …  and  … ' I hesitated and looked down at my fingers intertwined in my lap. 'I'm just not ready to leave here, Miller. It's my family home. It's the last connection I have to my parents.'

'Well, I can't move here, Abbie.'

'Can't, or won't?' I asked, lifting my head to look at him. I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs, like it did every time our eyes locked.

'Both, I guess,' he offered with an apologetic shrug.

'Why not? I know Dilbury isn't exactly cosmopolitan, but we have high-speed broadband for you to work from here, and you have the private airfield down the road so you can keep chartering your own plane when you need to go back to New York for business. Your best friend lives in Shrewsbury now and you have no family over there. It makes more sense for you to live here than for me to live there.'

'It's not that simple, Abbie,' he stated, his voice laced with frustration. 'To start with, I need an office.'

'Then we can get Dad's station kitted out for you. It's large, I could have all of his kit and tools put in a new shed and you could get it done up with all your hi-tech gadgetry.'

'Abbie,' he sighed. 'Even if that worked, I  … ' He stalled and threw himself back on the sofa with a shake of his head.

'I can't carry on like this, Miller,' I said reluctantly. 'It kills me each time you leave and it's making me miserable. Daphne and Georgie have noticed, and even I'm starting to hate myself for being such a whinger and mope. Being happy when you're here is being overridden by being miserable the large proportion of the time that you're not. What else is holding you back? Is it me, do you not feel strongly enough about me to want to try us living together?'

'Abbie, I love you, I just  … ' He broke off and stared at me, confusion written all over his face, which matched my own feelings right now. I just didn't understand his objections.

'So you love me enough to suggest that I uproot my life, but not enough for you to do the same?' I snapped as I scrambled to my feet, feeling hurt and angry with him.

'Don't be like that,' he protested, as I went to stand by the fire with my back to him. I wrapped my arms around myself as I stared at the orange flames. It felt like they were burning me from the inside out. The thought that this might be it, that we were finally acknowledging that this relationship could never continue with an ocean between us, that we were realising we could never work unless something changed, was painful. Then I thought of Daphne, about how much more painful it must be to lose someone you'd loved with all of your heart for sixty years. I swallowed the ball of emotion that filled my throat and reached up to wipe some tears from my cheeks. I just couldn't imagine it. I didn't want to imagine it, let alone experience it. Maybe that was why I'd never let a relationship get this far before, I was scared of losing someone I cared about all over again. I was better off on my own than facing the heartache of losing Miller further down the line.



       
         
       
        

'Don't be like what?' I whispered. I didn't want to lose him, but if he wasn't prepared to fight for me, why should I fight for him?