Reading Online Novel

Never The Bride(26)



'Hmmm,' agreed Georgie, 'nothing beats Abbie's scones in front of a nice fire on a winter's afternoon.'

'Aren't you having any, dear?' Daphne asked, as she loaded one with jam and cream.

'No, I'm not really feeling hungry right now. But you two tuck in,' I suggested. I sat back with my cup and saucer and absentmindedly sipped the steaming hot tea, glancing up when I heard Georgie splutter, then choke.

'Jesus,' she muttered, screwing up her face as Daphne began to cough and pat her chest.

'What? What's wrong?' I asked, my eyes darting between them as they both set their plates of food down and gulped at their tea.

'Ermmm, have you been trying out a new recipe?' Georgie asked.

'No, it's my usual one, I know it by heart. Why?'

'You were a bit heavy handed with the – '

'Currants,' Daphne interrupted. 'Lots and lots of currants. They just took us by surprise, went down the wrong way.'

'Currants?' I looked down at my scones in surprise. If anything, I'd put less in. I hadn't had many left in my cupboard and couldn't be bothered to walk up to the village store.

'Yes, currants,' Georgie agreed, nodding very emphatically when I looked up at her. 'Down  …  the wrong way.'

'Are you sure? I didn't put in as many as normal. Don't they taste good?'

'De-li-cious,' Daphne stated, over-pronouncing each syllable and flashing Georgie a look that I couldn't quite work out, before she lifted up the piece she'd started and carried on tucking in.

'Mmmm-hmmm,' Georgie agreed, nodding so hard her head was at risk of falling off as she nearly emptied her pot of jam on the small morsel she lifted up to her lips and started to chew.

'Want a bit of scone with your jam?' I asked, raising my eyebrows as she chewed. Her blue eyes went wide as Daphne's patterned cake plate as she made a meal of swallowing and forced back another cough.

'How about another pot of tea, dear?' Daphne suggested, giving me a poignant look.

'There's plenty left, let me pour you another cup,' I offered, picking up the teapot.

'I'm not feeling in an Earl Grey mood today. How about some plain breakfast tea? It's in the top cupboard above the kettle.'

'Hmmm, I'd love some breakfast tea to go with these really, really, delicious scones,' Georgie nodded. I gave her a strange look, wondering if she'd suddenly developed some rare nodding illness, as her head just continued to bob up and down.

'Ok.' I gave them both another look. I was getting the feeling I was missing something here, but I picked up the teapot and headed back out to the kitchen.

I flicked on the kettle as I rinsed out the dregs of Earl Grey and sighed. Even spending yesterday working hadn't cheered me up, and I usually loved a good spreadsheet. Messing around with numbers always made me happy, but it was like someone had sucked out my happiness these last few weeks. I felt like I was living under a permanent stormy black cloud, waiting for the heavens to open. I rummaged in the cupboard, but couldn't find the tea leaves Daphne had mentioned anywhere, nor in the cupboard to the left of the sink. I padded back to the lounge to find the two of them with their backs to me, bent over the fire.



       
         
       
        

'They're not burning. Quick, cover them with another log,' Daphne ordered.

'She'll know. I mean, there were six on the plate, no one eats three scones each that quickly,' Georgie replied, grabbing a piece of wood as I folded my arms over my chest.

'She won't if we just say how delicious they were.'

'I can't believe you're advocating lying!'

'You were the one who said burn them. Don't lay this on me, Georgie Basset. I was all for eating them regardless,' Daphne retorted. 'Besides, we're doing a kindness. She's down as it is, I don't want to see her any more unhappy.'

'Ok, what's going on?' I demanded, making them both jump, then turn to face me with grimaces. Georgie swallowed hard as her cheeks went pink.

'Nothing, just a bit chilly, that's all.'

'Don't give me that. You're both hiding something from me. What was wrong with my scones?'

'Nothing,' they both chorused. I narrowed my eyes at them and Georgie wilted, then covered her eyes.

'Stop, stop. That's the stare, the terrifying accountant stare that says you've found a discrepancy and has me visualising a life behind bars for a one pence tax fraud. Or the one that says my tax bill's going to be so high, I need to sell my house and leave Dilbury. You know it puts me on edge.'

'Georgie Basset,' I warned.

'Your scones were disgusting. There, I've said it!' she expelled in a rush. I gasped as Daphne groaned and covered her face with her hands.

'My scones have won first place at the village fête for the last seven years,' I protested. 'And my jam and my cookies.'

'Well, these wouldn't have, sweetie. It was like swallowing seawater. Except I've done that and that was more pleasant. In fact, I'd rather stick my hand in the fire and pull them out than try and eat another crumb of one.'

'Georgie, what happened to our plan not to upset her?' Daphne scolded.

'They were salty? Seriously?' I uttered, stunned.

'The jam too, which I didn't discover until I put a mountain of it on a tiny piece of scone, hoping to ease it down,' Georgie confirmed, nodding vigorously again.

'Really?' I plopped down onto the sofa, shaking my head.

'I think you must have mixed up the sugar and salt, my dear. It's not the end of the world,' Daphne said softly as she shuffled back over to ease herself down next to me.

'But other than maths and accounting, cookies, scones, and jam are what I'm good at,' I moaned. 'If I can't even make those right, what kind of mess have I been making of my customers' accounts? Why didn't you just say, instead of trying to eat  …  then burn them?' 

'You've been so depressed lately, we didn't want to add to your burdens.' Daphne took my hand and stroked it as she smiled at me.

'But  …  but  …  I have no right to be depressed. You  …  you  … ' I shook my head, feeling the sting of tears prickling the back of my eyes.

'You lost him too, dear,' she stated gently. 'Grief can remind us of other people in our lives that we've lost, and I know you've been blaming yourself for it happening at your house while I was with you, which is ridiculous. Then there's poor Mr. Sumo's cancer, your American boyfriend who you barely see, and you've taken on too many clients and are working too hard. It's all caught up with you.'

'She's right, Abbie. And I know this always-the-bridesmaid thing is getting to you as well. We need to inject more fun in your life.'

'Well, I know something that will cheer you up,' Daphne announced, giving us both a so-there nod.

'Liam Hemsworth is moving to Dilbury?' I offered as I sipped on the remains of my nearly cold tea, but even the thought of my go-to celebrity hunk didn't raise any excitement in me. Wow, I really did have the blues.

'No, but our new neighbour has moved in, and I have all the gossip.'

'Why doesn't that surprise me?' Georgie whispered as she flashed me a knowing smile. Daphne beckoned us in closer, then took a look around her before whispering the news.

'She's an author. Of very salacious material. I've not read any of her books yet, but I've heard they make Fifty Shakes read like a children's novel.'

'Fifty Shakes?' Georgie giggled, and I couldn't help but smile a bit too. 'Do you mean Fifty Shades?'

'No, I'm sure it's Fifty Shakes.'

'Well, I'm pretty sure I could write a novel more saucy than one about milkshakes,' Georgie stated emphatically.

'Milkshakes? Oh no,' Daphne rebutted with a shake of her head. 'It's all about sex, my dear. With whips and handcuffs. Of course, it may be shocking to some, but some of us have had a slightly more colourful life.' She gave me a wink, and I choked and sprayed my mouthful of tea all over myself, making Georgie do her unladylike snorting laugh.

'You and  …  David  …  handcuffs  …  kink  …  need bleach for my mind,' I groaned, slamming my cup and saucer down as I covered my eyes and tried to blot out that disturbing visual.

'Like you youngsters have the monopoly on sexy bedroom shenanigans,' Daphne chuckled. 'That book injected a bit of passion back into our lives and led to David's hip replacement operation being moved forward. They couldn't understand how it had worn down so fast from his last X-ray.'

'Oh my God,' I moaned, as Georgie continued to snort.

'I'm pretty sure you mean the book Fifty Shades, Daphne, but if there really is a saucy one called Fifty Shakes, I might have to look it up,' she added.

'Really, it's shades and not shakes?' Daphne mused as I finally uncovered my eyes, wondering if I was dreaming this frankly awkward conversation. 'I thought it was shakes because it was the amount of times his penis was milked. I did try keeping count of all of the sex scenes, but was too busy trying to re-enact some of them.'

'Hahaha,' Georgie screeched, throwing herself back in the armchair and clutching her sides as some tears rolled down her face, while I sat with my mouth ajar. 'Please  …  stop, you're  …  killing me,' she gasped, trying to wipe her eyes. 'So I have a saucy author living next door to me? What does she look like? You'd imagine them to be sexy minxes, but I've heard some of them look like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.'