Never Been Loved(102)

I’m going to kill the bastard who destroyed my chances with her. But it looks like I’m doing a fine job of screwing it up myself, too.

“Say it, Sera. Say it so you can hear how fucked up it is.”

“Aly, she-she....” She takes a second to pull in some air. “She can give you what you need – money. Money makes life easier, Hunt, you know that. You know you can build a better life for Matty with her as your wife, or whatever she is. You can buy a bigger place to live in, quit your job so you’re not so exhausted anymore. She can give you that; I can’t.”

I hate it when she looks away from me, it’s like I’m not even here. I swipe away the tears from her face, but more keep coming. She’s tearing me apart.

“Baby, look at me. Please.”

Her eyes shoot open, and I get her attention.

“I’m sorry she kissed me, that she touched me. I’m sorry that I let her. I know I don’t deserve you, Sera, not now, not like I am. I didn’t expect you to come into my life, I didn’t expect to be given this beautiful woman who makes me want to be better. I didn’t expect to find you in nerdy shirts and Justice League Converse, putting a smile on my face in the mornings when I would pass you by to go to my shitty job, into my shitty life. I didn’t expect you to make my days better, to make me as happy as you do with your geek-speak. I didn’t expect for you to get so emotional over the people from your books and movies. I didn’t expect for you to let me into your life.

“I didn’t expect you to let me kiss you and touch you. I didn’t expect for you to break your tiny hand because of what one asshole said. Fuck, I didn’t expect you to love Matty, to let him into your life, and you into his, to make him the boy he’s meant to be. And baby, the way I see it, I want you around to make sure he grows up to be a better man than me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing,” she whispers, but she’s biting back some kind of violence and it’s fucking amazing.

“I’d have money with Aly, sure. She hates Matty, and every single day being with her, it’s going to remind me of my shitty past. You make me forget all that, Sera. No amount of money is worth that. Money’s just money. I’ll get a second job if I need to.”

“Shut up, just... shut up.”

Okay.

“Did she put her tongue in your mouth?”

Aly tried really hard. “Not for lack of trying.”

She lets go of my wrists, instead grabbing the end of my shirt and using it to wipe my mouth, getting rid of Aly from me.

Oh, shit.

“Take off the shirt, Hunt.”

I oblige, and fist my shirt and toss it. Sera’s squeezing her eyes together and I’m hoping I stays level; talk about killing the damn mood.

“Now, stand up.”

Oh, Christ, she’s lying down on my couch and ordering me to lie down on top of her. Shit, shit, shit. Does she really want to do this? Did I force her to do this?

“Is this okay?” I ask, watching her scoot up on the couch, closer to my face. My dick’s about to start debating the merits of moving along with her, but I tamp down that argument.

“More than okay. But I want you to settle more on top of me. I can take it. Go ahead.”

I swallow, and get to my forearms, putting us even closer. I get a leg between the both of hers, and God, the heat of her has fireworks popping off in my head and nothing’s happened yet.

Now she’s stroking my shoulders, grabbing my muscles in a needful massage, her mouth nothing more than a breath away. I’m not going to let her give me her tonight. Not yet. Not with what just happened.

You hear that, Junior? I’m going to take care of you later. This is for Sera.

“You are the sexiest man I have ever seen,” she whispers against my lips. I’m rock steady still, unable to watch her mouth move. She’s never spoken like this with me. “You are kind and generous. You might even be cooler than Batman, but we’ll have to see about that. You’re strong and brave, and you’re a good dad. You make me want you, just with a look in your eye. You make me crave your kiss so that it’s the last thing I think of every night. You make me feel sexy, when I’ve never felt sexy in my entire life.”

She kisses me, getting inside me, her hands moving on my head, down to my shoulders, back down to my ribs, hitting my lats only to start all over again. She’s incredible, just fucking incredible.

When she moans my name, I nearly destroy my boxers, forgetting my own name when she’s sucking on my lip. She pulls me closer, her thumbs hitting the ridge of muscle over my hips and stroking in ways that make me want her hands on my dick.