Nanny Makes Three(67)
Reminding herself that what she felt didn’t matter, that only he did, she forced a smile. “You do look...”
His glacial look stopped her flimsy lie in its tracks. “I know how I look. But I am fine, considering.” A beat. “I hear you kicked up quite a commotion trying to get to me.”
He knew? And he hadn’t told them to let her in earlier?
His expression became even more inanimate as he looked away. “I kept hoping you’d give up and just leave.”
Her throat squeezed, making it nearly impossible to breathe. “I—I realize how you must feel. But there will be other championships...”
He cut her off again. “I’m sick of people placating me.”
Telling herself he needed her nearness even if his current mood made him pretend he didn’t, she sat down and caressed his corded forearm, trying to infuse him with her strength and let their connection bolster him. “I’m not ‘people,’ Leonid. I’m your woman, your lover, and you’re my...”
His gaze swung to hers, this time filled with frost. “You’re free to consider yourself whatever you want, but I’m certainly not your anything.”
The lump in her throat grew spikes. But still convinced it was his ordeal talking, she tried again. “Leonid, darling...”
He shook off her hand, his face twisting in a snarl. “Don’t you dare ‘darling’ me. I made my terms clear from the start. The only reason I was with you was because I thought you agreed to them.”
Shocked out of her wits at his viciousness, she again told herself she must have gravely underestimated the effects of his injuries and near-death experience, that it was better to withdraw now, before he got even more worked up.
She stood up carefully so she wouldn’t sway. “I only wanted to know you’re okay... I shouldn’t have disturbed you...”
“No, you shouldn’t have. But now I’m glad you did.”
“Y-you are?”
“That’s the one good thing that’s come out of this mess. It’s giving me the chance to do what I’ve been trying to do.”
Her heart decelerated, as if afraid to beat and let his meaning sink in. “What have you been trying to do?”
“I’ve been trying to end this.”
Her heart stopped. “This? You mean...us?”
His stone-cold gaze slammed into her, compromising what was left of her balance. “There was never an ‘us.’ I thought we had an arrangement for sexual recreation, to unwind from the stresses of the pursuits that matter in our lives. But you were only pretending to abide by my terms, until I was softened enough, or maybe weakened enough, as you must believe I am now, to change the terms to what you wanted all along, weren’t you? You’re just another status-hunting, biological-clock-ticking woman after all, aren’t you?”
Unable to breathe, she flinched away. “Please...stop...”
He pushed a button that brought him to a seated position, as if to pursue her to drive his point through her heart. “I’m not stopping until this is over, once and for all. I grabbed the opportunity of training to break it off with you naturally, but you only escalated your pursuit. And now that you think me a sitting duck, you’re here to pin me down? To smother me with solicitude at my lowest ebb? You think you’ll make me so grateful I’ll end up offering you a commitment?”
She shook her head, shook all over, the tears she’d suppressed burning from her depths again. “You know it was never like that. Please, just calm down...”
“So now you want to make it look as if I’m raving and ranting? But you’re right. I’m not calm. I’m fed up. What else can I do so you’ll understand I can’t bear your suffocating sweetness anymore?”
Shock seeping deeper into her marrow, she staggered back to escape his mutilating barrage. “Please...enough... I’ll leave...”
“And you won’t return. Ever.”
His icy savagery shredded her insides. It was as if the man she loved had never existed. As if the accident had only revealed the real him, someone who relished employing cruelty to get rid of what he considered a nuisance.
She’d swayed halfway to the door before she stopped.
She couldn’t bear telling him. It would only validate his accusations. But he had to know.
Teetering around, she met the baleful bleakness of his stare, and forced the admission out. “I—I’m pregnant.”
Something spiked in his gaze before his thick lashes lowered, and he seemed to be contemplating something horrific.
At length, demeanor emptied of all expression, he raised his gaze to her. “Are you considering keeping it?”