Nanny Makes Three(59)
Hadley tensed, intending to resist being evicted for the procedure, but then she remembered that she was the nanny, nothing more. She’d given up her rights when she’d given Liam back his ring.
When they stepped into the hallway, Hadley turned to Liam. “I should go.”
“Go?” he echoed, his expression blank, eyes unfocused. “Go where?”
“I don’t really belong here.” As much as that was true in a practical sense, she couldn’t shake a feeling of responsibility to Maggie and to him.
Foolishness. If anyone besides Liam had hired her, she wouldn’t have let herself get personally involved. She’d never slept with any of her other clients, either. Even with Noah she hadn’t stepped across that line. They’d been close, but something about sleeping with him with his children down the hall hadn’t sat well with her. And right before the weekend they were supposed to go away and be together for the first time was when Noah decided to go back to his ex-wife.
“Maggie needs you,” Liam countered. “You can’t leave her now.”
“I’m her nanny.” It hurt to admit it, but Hadley knew that after what had happened between her and Liam, she needed to start pulling back. “What she needs is her family. Why don’t you call her grandmother?”
“You mean the woman who left her with me and hasn’t demonstrated any grandmotherly concern since?”
Hadley was torn. Her presence wasn’t needed while Maggie was at the hospital. The nurses would see to it that the baby was well tended. Liam could give her all the love and snuggling she required.
“I’m sorry that Maggie’s mother died and her grandmother is so far away, but I can’t be here for you and for her in this way. She’s in good hands with the nurses and with you. I’ve already gotten too involved. I can’t keep pretending like nothing has changed.” Hadley turned in the direction of the elevator so Liam wouldn’t see her tears.
He caught her arm before she could take a step. “I’m sorry, too,” he murmured in her ear, his breath warm against her temple. “I never meant for any of this to hurt you.”
And then he set her free. Gutted and empty, she walked away without glancing back.
Liam sat on the couch in Maggie’s hospital room. A nurse had appeared half an hour ago to take Maggie’s temperature and change her diaper. When she’d completed her tasks, she’d dimmed the lights and left Liam in semidarkness. It was a little past six. He’d skipped both lunch and dinner but couldn’t bring himself to leave the room. He felt empty, but it wasn’t because he was hungry. The hollowness was centralized in his chest. Loneliness engulfed him unlike anything he’d known before.
He hadn’t felt this lost when Kyle left for the navy or when his grandfather had died. The ranch had provided abundant distractions to occupy him, and he’d thrown himself into building the business. That wasn’t going to work this time.
He rarely felt sorry for himself, but in the eight hours since Hadley had taken off, he’d begun to realize the wrong turn his life had taken. The arrival of Maggie and Hadley had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. Acting as Maggie’s caretaker had taught him the true meaning of the word responsibility. Up until now, he’d had people who did things for him. Staff, his grandfather, even the women he dated. While he didn’t think of himself as selfish, he’d never had to put anyone’s needs above his own.
But even as he’d patted himself on the back for championing Maggie’s welfare, hadn’t he ignored his brother’s needs when he’d decided to seek custody of his niece? And Hadley’s? How had he believed that being married to him was any sort of reward for her love and the sacrifice to her career that staying in Royal would require?
He’d played it safe, offered her an expensive ring and explained that he needed her and wanted her in his life. But he’d never once told her he was madly, passionately in love with her and that if she didn’t marry him, he’d be heartbroken. Of course she’d felt underappreciated.
Liam thought about the nightmare he’d had after returning from Colorado. Sleeping alone for the first time in three nights had dragged powerful emotions from his subconscious. He could still recall the sharp pain in his chest left over by the dream, a child’s hysterical panic as he’d chased his mother out of the house, pleading with her not to go.
By the time he’d awakened the next morning, there’d been nothing left of the disturbing dream but a lingering sense of uneasiness. He’d shoved the genie back into the bottle. Craving love only to have it denied him was not something he ever wanted to experience again. And so he’d only shown Hadley physical desire and made a superficial commitment without risking his heart.