Mystery Lover(17)

" You' ve been working too hard."

His eyes met hers and she immediately knew what he was thinking. "You know exactly why I've been working so hard. "

She was sure he wouldn't appreciate her acknowledging that she had  picked up his statement. Instead, she said, "I have another suggestion.  You might want to do what I do after a long, hard day."

"What's that?"

"I go home, fill my bathtub with warm water, pour myself a glass of  wine, light a candle and sit there in the tub, sipping on the wine, and  let my mind go blank. I try not to think of a thing. Just sit there and  relax. It's amazing how much it helps. I sleep a lot better, too."

"I haven't been getting much sleep lately."

She steeled herself from responding that she knew. Because of her  feelings for him, she had been able to tune into him more and more over  the past few months. She knew how unhappy he was, how confused, and how  determined he was not to do anything to cause her to quit her job and  leave him entirely.

Chad had decided that half a loaf was better than nothing. He was wrong  and she was determined to prove that to him. Half a loaf was a  compromise that wasn't necessary or even wise. They deserved much more  than that, and she was willing to go to great lengths to prove that to  him.

He straightened in his chair. "I believe I may follow your suggestion."  He glanced down at the stack of telephone messages in his hand. "You're  sure these can wait until morning?"

"Positive."

He stood up. "Then I think I'll take your advice."

She stepped back so that he could pass her, but not far enough that he  didn't have to brush by her as he passed. She felt him flinch.

Yes. He was vulnerable. But then, so was she. Love created vulnerability  and it was all right, so long as the other partner didn't abuse it.  That was what she intended to show Chad, if he would just give her a  chance. Their deep feelings for each other were nothing to run away  from, but something to run toward.

Jennifer made sure she left at five o'clock and went directly home to  her apartment. There was no stopping at the health club tonight, no  visiting with her friends. Instead, she did just what she suggested Chad  do. She filled her bathtub with water, poured a small glass of wine,  put a quiet instrumental recording to play on the stereo, lit a candle  and, after stripping off her clothes, slowly lowered herself into the  warm and soothing water.

Quieting her mind she began to tune in to Chad. He was quiet, as though  asleep. That was all right. He needed his rest. She spent the next hour  soaking and relaxing, and silently rehearsing.

By the time she had something to eat and was ready for bed, Jennifer was  shaking with stage fright. So much depended on how she did this and how  he responded.

She turned out the light and crawled into bed. Forcing her body and mind to relax, she began.

"Chad?"

"?"

"Are you asleep, love?"

She got a sense of drifting clouds and cool breezes. He was very relaxed, but she didn't think he was asleep.

"I was just lying here tonight, thinking of you, and decided to picture you here in bed with me."

She felt an electric vibration sizzle between them and knew beyond a  doubt that she had his attention. She smiled to herself. "I see you  lying next to me, your head on my pillow___"                       
       
           



       

She felt his energy surge, then retreat.

"I love to pretend that you're in bed with me, Chad. It makes my life less lonely. Are you tired of being alone, Chad?"

There was no response, but she knew she had his attention.

"If you were here I'd lean over and kiss you, very softly, on the lips.  Your lips feel so good to me, Chad. I love their firmness, and the  fullness of your bottom lip. If you were here, I would touch my tongue  to its surface, and lazily taste your mouth."

She waited, but got no response.

"If you were here in my bed there would be no need for either of us to  have on any clothes. I would want to feel your body pressed against  mine."

"!"

Jennifer smiled. "I wouldn't want any covers on us, either, and I would  want a light on, so that I could see you.. .just as you could see me. I  would want to touch you, explore you with my fingertips, to get to know  your body as well as I know mine, to place my breasts against your chest  and feel the soft downy curls on your chest brush against me."

"Jennifer!"

"Yes, Chad?" she responded.

"Wouldyou cut that out?"

"What's wrong, Chad?"

"Not a thing. Not a damned thing."

"I'm sorry if I bothered you, love. I know how very tired you are and how much you need your rest."

Silence.

"I'm sure you're used to having a woman in bed with you. It doesn't mean a thing."

More silence.

"It's different with me, though. I've never wanted to go to bed with  another man. Only you. Only you, Chad. I've been waiting years for you. I  used to lie in bed at night and try to imagine what you looked like,  but I never could. Now I know. I can see your muscular body, your  strong, handsome features, I can feel your soft, thick hair through my  fingers, and smell the tangy scent of your after-shave. I can feel  your-"

"Why are you doing this?"

"What do you mean? Loving you?"

"Are you trying to make me lose my sanity?"

"Of course not. I love you, Chad."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, but I do. You've given me a chance to come to terms with the Chad I  grew up with, and the man I've known as my boss for five years. I no  longer glamorize you, Chad. But that doesn't mean I love you any less."

"I'm not interested in a physical relationship with you."

"Oh? You really surprise me, Chad. As long as I've worked for you, I would never have guessed you preferred-"

"Damn it, Sunshine, you know better than that."

"You really had me fooled, you know. The way you kissed me, the way you touched and caressed me-"

"It's a good thing you aren't here right now, you know. I would show you my sexual preferences fast enough!"

She grinned. "Is that an offer? Give me your address and I'll be right  there. Wait, I'll get a pencil." She lay there quietly, waiting for a  response.

"Don't bother. I am not going to give you my address. You are not coming  over here. You are going to leave me alone, do you understand me?"

"Very well. You come in very loud and clear. Can you hear me all right?"

She could feel his frustration, irritation and thwarted sexual desires  all tangled in a whirlwind of emotion. The cool, unflappable C. W.  Cameron might be able to hide behind that calm facade with everyone  else, but he had given her an open pathway to his heart when she was too  young to appreciate what he offered. Now there was no way he could  close her out.

"Sunshine.. . I'm tired. I've had less than four hours' sleep in the  past fifty-six hours. I'm beat. Will you please just go away and leave  me alone?"

"Of course I will, love. Why don't you turn over on your stomach and  relax. Just pretend that I'm there massaging the tense muscles in your  back and shoulders. Feel my fingers glide over those muscles, and smooth  away all of the aches. Feel my-"

"Jennifer Chisholm, that's enough!"

She lay there quietly in bed, grinning from ear to ear. After a few moments she heard, "Sunshine?"

Jennifer didn't answer.

After several more minutes went by, he said, "Sunshine, I'm sorry. I  don't want to hurt your feelings. I just want to be left alone, okay?"

Jennifer turned over and snuggled into her pillows. Not bad for the first night's work.





She was on the phone when C. W. Cameron walked in the next morning.  Without looking up at him she handed him three calls that had already  come in for him, while she continued to speak into the phone.                       
       
           



       

When she hung up, Jennifer went back to the coffeepot and got two cups  of coffee. Without saying anything, she placed one of them in front of  him and sat down in the chair across from his desk.

He glanced up from the mail in front of him.

"Did you sleep all right last night?" she asked.

"No, thanks to you," he muttered.

Jennifer was delighted. That was the first time in the office that he  had allowed their two separate lives to come together. It was a start.

Over the next several weeks Jennifer set up a loose schedule of contact  with him. When he was out of town she would idly let him know when she  went out with friends after work. He didn't need to know how many were  in the group. If he thought she was on a date while she commented on  what was happening around her, that was his choice.