My Brother's Best Friend(65)
“Thanks so much for doing this.”
“Of course. Stay as long as you need to.”
Chapter Fifteen
I spent the next several days going to work and attending class, trying to keep my mind from wandering to Devin. I didn’t do the assignment Dr. Stone wanted me to do, instead I hid the journal, hoping to get back to some semblance of normalcy and to stop wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt, and to stop dwelling on my anger and my fear.
However, today I went to my appointment, surprising since I didn’t feel like I could face Dr. Stone, let alone talk about Devin or my feelings.
“Have you talked to Devin since Wednesday’s appointment?” he asked after I sat there a while in silence.
“No. I’ve been staying at a friend’s place and didn’t want to talk to him or my family.”
“What does your family think of this situation?”
“From what I can tell, Mitch is pretty upset with Devin for going behind his back. He’s also upset with Emily’s pettiness. He’s cracked the whip down hard and from what Megan told me, she is finally starting to take responsibility for her actions. She’s apologized to Megan and Mitch. She wanted to apologize to me but I didn’t want to hear it.”
“Do you think you should forgive your sister?”
“She should apologize to me, but that doesn’t change the fact that she did something horrible just to hurt me. I can’t forget what she did. She shouldn’t get off that easily. An apology isn’t enough.”
“What would be enough?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I just know I can’t forgive her, not yet.”
“And what about Devin?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t done much in the past couple days except keep myself busy with menial tasks. I haven’t wanted to think about anything related to Devin.”
“The only way you will be able to move on is by talking about what happened and maybe even looking back to see what led you to where you are now.”
“You want me to go back through my journal,” I stated.
“Simply put, yes. You’ve written more in that than you care to admit and I’m guessing it’s what helped you open up to me, even to Devin. Now I want you to go back and really look at what happened and see if you can piece everything together.”
I looked at him, confused. “I don’t really understand.”
“You will. Just look back, start from the beginning.”
Before I could ask him another question, my phone beeped loudly, signaling I had a text message. I looked apologetically at Dr. Stone and pulled out my phone.
SIM card error. Please contact service provider.
This SIM card is no longer in use.
“What?” I exited out of the message and immediately my phone went to a white screen.
Please insert a valid SIM card.
“What is it, Christy?”
“My phone stopped working.” I looked down at my watch, our session was nearly over. “Mind if we cut a few minutes short?”
“It’s your money,” he said.
I smiled and stood up with my things. “Thanks, I’ll be back Wednesday, having completed your assignment.”
I went back to the penthouse and heated up the leftover Chinese we ordered yesterday and watched TV until Larissa came back. When Larissa finally claimed she was tired, we set off for our separate rooms.
Now here I was, ready to look back at what I wrote. See what I missed and see what I needed to see…
* * *
After I finished reading my journal, I tried calling, but Devin didn’t pick up. I tried sitting on his doorstep, but he never came home. I even asked his neighbor if they had seen him.
Well, first I raced to his apartment and wildly buzzed his apartment. There was no answer so I buzzed his neighbor. She let me up and when I asked her about Devin, she said, “Oh, yes dear.” She was a little old woman, cute as could be. “I heard some noise and came to look and he was carrying down boxes. Looked like he was moving to me.”
My heart sank. Was he really moving? Was I too late?
I decided to sit by his door in case he showed up, but he didn’t. I even called him a couple times from his neighbor’s phone since mine was apparently still not working and Mitch said he was calling the phone company. He didn’t answer and I didn’t want to leave a message.
What if he doesn’t want me anymore? Surely he’s upset. I haven’t spoken to him since Wednesday. And to make things worse, I’ve ignored all of his messages. God please don’t let it be too late.
* * *
I went to work Monday. I tried once more from Larissa’s phone to call him before going to work but again he didn’t respond. I was feeling pretty awful by the time I made it to work. I was sure he wanted nothing more to do with me. I was certain he was moving to get away from me and he never wanted to see me again. I almost started crying and contemplated actually leaving him a voicemail and explaining everything and apologizing for being a complete fool.