My Brother's Best Friend(62)

“He did say it was a trick by your sister, did he not?”

“It’s just an excuse.”

“Megan told you that Emily confessed, right?”

I didn’t want to believe anything that had been said by anybody.

“Have you considered that you don’t want to believe the truth because it would force you to tell Devin how you feel? And maybe you are scared that his feelings aren’t reciprocated, so you decide to believe what you saw and not what you know?”

“And what do I know?”

“That your sister is jealous of you and fancies herself in love with Devin. That Devin has always told you the truth so why would he lie to you?”

“Because he doesn’t want to be caught for cheating!”

“You two were never a real couple.”

“So it makes it okay to have sex with my sister?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You were never a couple but the way you both reacted was as if you two really cared for each other. His desperation in trying to contact you suggests to me that he does in fact reciprocate your feelings.”

I didn’t say anything, I only looked down at my shoes.

“I want you to look back through your journal, looking at even the portions before Mitchell and Megan left and see for yourself how Devin feels. I’m sure he’s expressed it, you just didn’t realize it.”

I opened my mouth to refute the possibility, but unfortunately was cut off by the door swinging open violently and Devin rushing in like a mad man.

I hate to admit it, but my heart fluttered at the sight of him, making me temporarily forget that he had hurt me to the core. The second my mind jostled me awake, I was out of my chair, yelling at him to stay away from me.

“Do you realize how worried I have been?” he yelled, stepping forward toward me.

“What are you doing here?” I accused him. “Get out! I don’t want to see you!”

“You haven’t answered my calls or any of my texts and when I asked Megan, she said you had left work. I thought you were…I didn’t know where you were.”

I looked at him with angry eyes. “You thought I would kill myself? I would never think of doing that again. I can’t believe you would think I was capable of hurting myself that way. And even to think it was because you hurt me? Please, I wouldn’t waste my life due to something you did!”

“I didn’t think you would do that! I thought you could have been hurt. Your phone was off, no one had heard from you all day! I care about you, so how could you think I wouldn’t be worried?”

“You don’t care about me! It was just some stupid agreement we made. We were never a couple! Stop pretending like I mean anything to you!”

“Then why are you so mad at me?”

I stared him straight in the eyes, “Because I love you and you hurt me deeply with whatever it was you were doing with my sister!”

“You love me?”

“Loved! You hurt me, Devin. I gave you my heart and you threw it away!”

“I never threw it away! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Your sister texted me with your phone and lured me to your place. The lights were off and—”

“I don’t want to hear it!”

“Nothing happened, Chris! I walked in and she mauled me. I pushed her away and turned on the lights. She was already dressed like...well, she threw the picture on your desk at me. Nothing happened! I wouldn’t lie to you! You have given me your heart, but don’t you see that I have given you mine too.”

Tears came to my eyes at his words. How I wished they were true. “Shut up! I don’t want to hear any of it!” I grabbed my bag and tried to pass him, but he held me back. “Let go of me!”

“You're blind sometimes, CJ. I've told you so many times and you just don't see it. I told you all you had to do was ask me a question and I would tell you the truth. Ask me.”

I looked up at him. “Why did you make fun of me in high school for my journal?”

“What does—” He stopped and sighed. He knew I asked because I wanted to see if he would tell me the truth. “Because I thought you were nerdy and it was pathetic that you thought you were going to marry me. I didn’t like your brother making jokes about us so I started making fun of you.”

I nodded. It still didn’t prove anything. “Did you want to sleep with my sister?”

“No. Never.”

“Did you think she was me when you first walked into the room?”

He paused and nodded.

“Did you kiss her?”

He looked hurt but nodded once again.

My eyes filled with tears and my voice shook. “Did you get any of my messages?”