Music of the Heart(90)

Angel followed him out of the dining room, but her whines echoed throughout the foyer when he slammed the front door. With an anguished sigh, I dropped my fork onto my plate, causing a noisy clatter. “Sorry.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize to me. Instead, you should be marching yourself right on out to the barn to sort things out with Jacob.”

My eyes widened at her suggestion. “Y-You know things are strained between us?”

“Oh honey, I know I’m dying, but seriously, I would have to be blind not to notice that.” Easing back in her chair, she eyed me for a moment. “He’s afraid to touch you, isn’t he?”

I gave a brief nod. “Since my accident, he acts like I’m some fragile piece of glass that will break at any minute. I know he loves me—he shows it in every way possible.”

“He’s conflicted about the guilt he feels for what happened to you. In his mind, Jacob thinks that by keeping you at arm’s length he’s somehow atoning for what he feels are his sins for your accident.”

“That’s so wrong!” I protested.

“I agree.”

“So what should I do?”

A mischievous gleam burned in Susan’s blue eyes. “You’re going to have to figure that one out on your own, honey. But I think your best strategy to clear the air and end all the tension is to force Jake to touch you again.”

I gasped as warmth flooded across my cheeks and down my neck. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

Susan held up her hands. “I just said that you needed to go out to the barn and fight for your man.” She rose out of her chair. “If anyone needs me, I’m going to take a bath and turn in early tonight.” With a wink, she walked out of the dining room.

Chewing on my nails, I let Susan’s words sink in. I knew what I wanted to do, but I didn’t know if I had the courage to do it. After all, the cards seemed stacked against me for anything about my plan to work out right. I was twenty-one years old, in love with a womanizing rock star who was going through emotional hell because of his mother’s illness and the fact a psychotic ex-girlfriend had beaten me, and my idea of making things better between us was to give him my virginity. Surely that made me crazy.

But when it all came down to it, it wasn’t just the desire pumping through me whenever I looked at Jake or when we were close to each other. No, I was crazy in love with him. I’d been in love with him before my accident, and after the last month with him, I was even more in love with him than ever before.

So it was now or never. I loved Jake, and I wanted to be with him. Who knew what the future held for us? But deep down, I would always regret it if the first man I loved wasn’t the first I slept with.

“Alrighty then,” I muttered before rising out of my chair. I stalked down the hallway and locked myself into the bedroom. My mind was now made up. Susan had planted a tiny seed, and I was going to act on it by going to Jake in the barn and seducing him.

I knew the first thing I needed to do was arm myself with the necessary tools. I had to look like sex to him. Well, I guess that wasn’t exactly true since the last time we had almost had sex I was wearing an old t-shirt and yoga pants, not to mention the fact we’d gotten pretty frisky this afternoon when I was wearing jeans and a sweater. Regardless of what had happened before, Jake needed to know just by looking at me tonight what I wanted.

I snapped my fingers and made my way over to the closet. Digging in my suitcase, I pulled out the white baby doll nightie I’d bought when I got the white dress for Jake. I slid on the glittery thong before shimmying into the nightie. Gazing at myself in the mirror, I turned left and right, appraising my reflection. I guess I looked sexy. The pearl and sequined encrusted bodice barely held in my cleavage, and it felt like at any minute my boobs might pop out of the front, which was probably a win-win situation considering how much Jake professed to like my boobs.

Pulling my hair out of my ponytail, I then brushed it until it to where it cascaded over my shoulders in waves. I reapplied a light coating of makeup, and when I finished, I rolled some shimmering colored lip gloss across my lips.

I slid my robe over my shoulders and stepped into my boots. Cracking open the door, I poked my head out and surveyed the scene. Susan’s door was shut tight, so I tip-toed down the hallway and then closed the front door quietly behind me. The full moon overhead lit my way across the yard to the barn.

Although Jake had six horses, they weren’t housed in the barn. Instead, they were down the hill in the stables. The ‘barn’ was more of a finished house or his bachelor pad, so to speak, where he had work-out equipment, a living area to relax in, and then the loft upstairs to sleep.