Morning Glory(92)

Gracie looks up to the sky as if she’s trying to envision Ella’s face, then she turns back to me. “Are you very sad?”

“Yes,” I say honestly. “And I might always be a little sad.” I glance at Alex. “But I’ve learned that I still have so much in life to be happy about. Besides, I’ll see her again.” I point up to the sky where Gracie’s looking.

Alex kisses my forehead lightly. “I promised Gracie ice cream,” he says. “Want to join us?”

A wave of emotion rushes over me. It’s thick and consuming. It makes me want to crawl back into the quiet, solitary place I existed in for so long before coming to Seattle, the cocoon I built for myself. Suddenly, I think of the day of the accident, how I promised Ella ice cream. I hear her voice. “Chocolate, with sprinkles.”

I look beyond Alex, and at the top of the dock near the stairs that lead to the street, I see her suddenly, standing beside James. They’re barely there, just a hologram, glimmers of their former selves. But I see them, and they’re smiling. They’re happy. James nods at me. He’s saying, “Go ahead, my love.” Then Ella waves. My eyes fill with tears, and then they’re gone.

Alex looks at me cautiously. “If you’re not up for ice cream, we can—”

“No,” I say quickly, wiping away a tear. “I want to. I never want to be the kind of person who says no to ice cream. Not anymore.”

Alex squeezes my hand.

“Look,” Gracie cries. “Ducks!”

We watch as Henrietta swims by, with Haines beside her.

The three of us walk ahead. It’s Monday, and there’s a chance of rain in the forecast, but it’s OK. And with each step along Boat Street, the old wooden dock lets out quiet creaks of approval.

I have finally found my way.