Morning Glory(28)

I decide I’ll go kayaking this morning, then swing by Alex’s houseboat and drop it off. Besides, he invited me to come by. It wouldn’t be weird. Or would it? I close my eyes and shake my head. Stop. Enough overanalyzing. I’m just returning a stupid vest.

Still, I find myself lingering over the mirror a moment longer than usual. I brush my hair and part it three different ways before throwing on some lip gloss.

“Morning,” Jim says from the dock as I zip up my life vest. “Going out for a row?”

“Yeah. It looks like a nice morning to be on the water.”

“Is it ever,” he says. “I’m taking the boat out later.” He nods toward the sailboat moored on my back deck.

“Have a good time,” I say.

“You could join me,” he offers a moment later, smiling.

I shake my head. “Thank you, but maybe some other time. I’ve been dying to see the lake from a duck’s point of view.”

His smile widens. “No better way.”

I climb into the kayak, tucking Alex’s vest behind my back for comfort, then inch my way out to the lake. The wake from a boat rolls in, and at first I feel like I’ll tip at any moment. I grasp the edges of the kayak and hold my breath, bracing myself for going under. But I don’t tip, so I venture out farther. I dip my paddle into the water and propel myself toward the center of the lake. I remember going canoeing in high school with a boy named Corey. I was sure we’d tip over, and when he leaned in to kiss me, we nearly did. I smile to myself. The farther I row, the farther I want to go, so I don’t stop. And I let my mind wander as I do. I let it travel freely, so of course, it goes to visit James and Ella. I see them sitting together, dangling their feet over the dock at the boat launch in Key Largo. Sunrise sent me to the Florida Keys to research a travel piece, and I brought James and Ella. I loved it when they traveled with me on my assignments. It made me feel less guilty. We could be together instead of the two of them in New York and me in a lonely hotel room worrying about everything from whether Ella ate her vegetables to the window in the living room. Did James remember to lock it? She was only three then, her cheeks still round, and her tiny hands still with their little fat pads on top. I loved the baby fat years.

“Mommy,” she says, “Daddy and I are looking at our sand castles.” She points to two creations in the distance. One is tall and smooth. Symmetrical. The other looks like it may have been hit by a tornado.

“They’re both beautiful,” I say, but I point to hers. “That one is especially nice.”

“That one’s mine,” she says proudly.

“We thought we’d drive into town and grab some lunch,” James says. “Want to join us, or do you have work to do?”

“I wish I could,” I say, “but I have that interview at noon.”

Ella tugs at my skirt. “Mommy, please!”

“Oh, honey, you know I’d go if I could.”

“Ella, remember Mommy’s working on this trip,” James says. “We just came along to keep her company.” I sigh then, remember how much I love him, how much I appreciate the way he respects my work, respects me.

“OK,” Ella says.

“Have fun!” I watch them walk to the car a few feet away, he in his T-shirt and shorts, and she in her white linen sundress and pink Salt Water sandals.

I have an interview in the hotel lobby with the mayor of Key Largo, so, not wanting to be late, I walk straight there. When I reach the foyer, I hear the sound of sirens in the distance. An ambulance? A fire truck? The sirens are coming from the main highway, which is not far away. James and Ella would’ve taken that route to get lunch in town. Suddenly, I panic. What if there was an accident? I try to quell my worries, but I can’t stop the fear rising up in my chest. It’s mixed with guilt and the agonizing thought of losing the two most important people in my life. What if the ambulance is coming for them? I run to the desk. “If the mayor shows up, tell him there’s been an emergency,” I say. “Tell him I’ll be back as soon as I make sure my family’s all right.”

I don’t know what I’m doing, just that I have to run to the road. If James and Ella have been hurt, well, I can’t think about what I’d do. I just want to be there. I run to the sidewalk and look out to the roadway. I don’t see anything. I call James’s number. No answer. I call again. He doesn’t pick up. Another ambulance speeds by, rounding a corner ahead, where a palm tree’s branches hang low over the road. The siren stops just beyond the corner. What if they’re hurt? I swallow hard. What would I do? How would I go on? I walk fast and then pick up my pace to a sprint. What seemed like a few blocks turns out to be a mile, maybe more. I’m not a runner, so I feel winded and develop a side ache that slows me down to a walk. I double over in pain, then stand again, keeping on. I can make out the flashing lights now. I see police cars and two ambulances. It must be a bad wreck. I look overhead and see a medical helicopter circling. I haven’t always been a praying sort of person, but I believe in God. I believe he listens, and I need him to listen now. Dear Lord, I pray aloud, let them be safe. Let them be all right.