Moonshine(45)

“FUCK!” How could I not notice that? What kind of a best friend am I? I slammed my hands onto the steering wheel three or four times. My chest was aching with every breathe I took. “Who would hurt that sweet girl?” The tears fell out of the corner of my eyes. She is my girl and I didn’t protect her. I haven’t been there for her this whole time. No wonder she won’t forgive me. No wonder she threw me out of that hospital the day that she woke up. He’s wrong. She may never forgive me. I wouldn’t blame her. I am horrible. I love her so much. How could I? “UGH!!!!” I screamed again. I am such a piece of shit. I held onto my chest as tight as I could because the hurt was unbearable. My chest felt like it was caving in. I had to breathe. I had to step out of the car and walk around and catch my breath. Mom couldn’t see me like this. She couldn’t know how big of an ass hat I was, because she wouldn’t forgive me either. All I had to do is get through Mom’s dinner and then I could drink my fucked up self into oblivion.





When I pulled into the drive I had finally calmed down. I rode home with the windows down so the fresh air would clear my face. Mom probably thought I wasn’t going to show. I opened the door and yelled into the kitchen like I always did. I could hear her banging around in there.

“I’m home, Momma. I’m just gonna run upstairs and change my clothes real fast.”

“Wait a minute, Ryker Baby. Come in here for just a minute.”

I put a smile on my face and tried to hide the shitty mood I was in. I walked into the kitchen and saw Momma at the stove stirring the food. “Hey Momma, what did you need?” I asked as I peeked around her at the food. It smelled so good.

“I wanted to give you your graduation present.”

“I told you not to get me anything.”

“I think you are really gonna like this, now come on.” She yanked the tie hanging around my neck and pulled me into the living room.

I knew that it was my sister the moment I laid my eyes on her. She didn’t really look a lot like me -besides those eyes, but I guess you just know these things.

“Ryker honey, I thought you’d like to meet your sister. This is Valerie and her grandmother Anna.” I just stood there like an idiot. “Ryker,” she nudged me forward.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little shocked.” I stepped forward to shake their hands. Valerie stood up first and I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. She was tall and skinny with a reddish brown hair that was way past her shoulders and the cutest little smile.

“Nice to meet you,” she said.

“Nice to meet you too,” I answered and shook her hand.

“Mrs. Scotland, it’s nice to meet you too.” I took her hand.

“Forgive me son if I stare, it’s just that the two of you do look an awful lot alike. You have the same dimples when you smile.” I shook her hand. She seemed like a nice old lady, but she was undeniably old and probably too old to be caring for a teenage girl. “Why don’t I help you in the kitchen, Lisa?”

“I’d love the help. Thank you.” Momma patted my chest as she left the room. I walked over and took a seat on the couch next to my sister.

“So, you’re fifteen, right?” I asked trying to break the ice.

“Yeah, but I will be sixteen next month.”

“That’s cool. Are you guys gonna be here all night?”

“Yeah I think we are gonna head back home first thing in the morning. Your mom was nice enough to let us stay here tonight. Grams can’t drive long distances at night time because she can’t see real well. She won’t let me drive even though I have my instruction permit.”

I smiled and relaxed. “Is there a reason she won’t let you? I mean, are you a bad driver?”

She laughed. “No, she just thinks that I drive too fast, but this is coming from a woman who has people jogging faster than her car.” I laughed and she did too. This was easy. We could do this.

“Well listen, since you are only here for one night, then you should come and hang out with me and my friend. I already had plans before I knew you were here, so if you wanna go I will take you with me.”

“Seriously? You do realize I’m your little sister.”

“I get it, but we have a lot of years to make up for, and you are only here one night.”

“Thanks Ryker, that is real cool of you.” She seemed excited and I was glad she was here. She may be just what I needed to take my mind off of everything, and as long as she is with me I know that I won’t drink myself into a coma.





24



Shine

Today would have been my high school graduation. Twelve years of hard work and I won’t get to celebrate it. I worked all of those years and got good grades all to graduate in this facility. It seems kind of bittersweet, but the progress I have made here makes up for it. The only thing that was missing today was my cap and gown and I didn’t want to wear that ugly thing anyway. Inside I feel like I have accomplished more here than I did in twelve years of school, and I owe it all to Johnny. Thanks to him I have lost my shell and I have grown so much. He has truly been my saving grace, and in three days he will be leaving the facility. I don’t know how I will make it without him, but I have to. The one on one sessions I have been having with Doctor G have helped me remain focused on my goals.