Moonshine(32)
“I see. Does she know that you feel this way?”
“She knows that I love her because she is my best friend, and she also knows that I would do anything for her. She doesn’t know that I am in love with her. We aren’t at a really good place right now, but it’s not because I don’t want to be. It’s complicated. She had a really bad accident a few months back and she hasn’t really spoken to me since. I don’t know all the details, but she still wants nothing to do with me. She might not even want my letter either, but that’s okay. I plan on bringing her one every day, and I promise you that I would not write anything to her that would make her treatment harder. I love her too much to jeopardize her health. She probably won’t read them anyway.”
“Every day huh?”
“That’s the plan.”
“You are doing a good thing Son. You keep fighting for her. You hear? I have seen a lot of patients in my time and I can assure you that she is not of sound mind right now. Her choices are all based on some bad experience that she can’t recover from and her body only knows how to shut down. If she believes in herself and the treatment, I promise that she can get better. You have to believe in her too and let her heal. I will give her this letter first thing in the morning during mail delivery.”
“Thank you. I don’t want her to know that I’m delivering them here.”
“I won’t tell her. It’s very sweet what you are doing. Hopefully, one day you will get your chance to tell her that you love her.”
“I hope so. I better get back on the road. Thanks again, Ma’am.”
“The name is Gerry.” She held out her hand for me to shake.
“Ryker Morgan,” I replied, “but if you hear her talk about someone named Moon, that’s me.”
“Get on home, Ryker. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight.” I left the facility feeling good about the letter. Thanks to Gerry, I feel like maybe there is some hope for me and Shine after all.
18
Shine
It was my first group therapy session and I was hoping I would get to do a one on one with the doctor before I had to attend a group. There were two couches and a love seat, and six of us in the group. I would only feel comfortable next to Bradley, and he made sure that I wasn’t next to anyone but him. We sat on the couch against the farthest wall. He sat down in the middle and left room for me to sit next to him on the outside. There were three girls and three boys in this group. No one looked happy to be there and no one stood out to me as far as looks. Except for maybe Bradley, the boy dresses nicer than any guy I have ever met.
The doctor took his seat in the rolling chair at the front of the room. He was a tall man with dark hair and dark thick eyebrows. I could tell that he had some kind of different ethnicity in him somewhere. All the hair that covered his body was very dark as well as his eyes, or at least they seemed to be under his coke bottle eyeglasses. He wore khaki pants that rose up to his knees when he sat down, and it showed his mismatched diamond pattern socks. He cleared his throat twice before he spoke.
“Good morning everybody, I’m glad to see everyone is here in one piece this morning. I can tell that you all are so excited to be here.” Wow! This guy was unquestionably a morning person, and don’t get me started on that sarcasm. Without missing a beat he continued on. “Today we have a new face amongst us, Shine Craven. Very nice to see you with us today, Shine. Don’t let anyone here freak you out. They may look like a scary mob, but I have seen them when they brush their hair and they are a good looking group.” A few people laughed and I smiled.
“See, I’m not so bad. Today we are going to start from where we left off yesterday. I will not expect you to speak today.” He was looking directly at me as he spoke. “You will just observe how this works until you feel comfortable enough to join in.” I nodded.
“Okay… So yesterday I asked everyone to tell me in one word how you feel others perceive you. I also asked that that one word be the one that hurts the most. The word you feel that sets you apart from others. This must be the word that the people you call friends would use to describe you behind your back. You were able to sleep on this and think about it last night. I am curious to know what you’ve all came up with. We will start on this side of the room and go right down the line.”
The first girl used the word Junkie. She agreed that she did have a drug problem, but that Junkie was the word that hurt her the most. From looking at each of them I would not use the words that they chose. Of course, I only knew them from a glance, and I had no right to pass judgment “even if I wanted to.” The next few words were equally as hurtful. After Junkie I heard the words, Skank, Worthless, and Easy. When they stopped on Bradley, I was curious. Who would say something hurtful to that gorgeous face? He has it all, good looks, obviously money from the way he dressed, and he was so funny.