Mistletoe Mischief (Lost and Found #5.5)(5)

After a long, timeless moment Roger circled the bed to the other side and crawled beneath the blankets. He left his jeans on, which had to be uncomfortable, but she appreciated it. Once he was settled he lifted his good arm to her and she rolled close. She worried about letting all her weight rest on him, but he pulled her tight into the crook of his shoulder. He was so warm, and he smelled so good …

In her half-awake state, she knew this would lead to issues later, but she couldn't seem to help herself. As his warmth and protection seeped into her, some of the never-ending tension of always being on guard-and lonely-drifted away.



Roger woke warm and content, and surprisingly free of anxiety. There was a heavy weight across his chest. Blinking awake, he tilted his head to look down.



       
         
       
        

A curly mop of black hair tickled his nose, and a long, sleek arm draped across his chest.

Cassandra.

His good arm cradled her against his chest and his fingers rested against the soft skin of her neck. Oh, hell. What had they done?

As he became more aware, he realized they hadn't done anything. He still wore his jeans and shirt. Although he thought he felt a soft hand beneath the edge of the shirt.

He let his fingers play over the soft skin of her neck. They'd laid like this for a long time, he could tell. His hips were sore from not moving and his right arm was itchy from wearing the prosthetic all night.

The discomfort was minor, though, considering he'd slept for the past several hours. Once she'd pulled him into the bed with her, they'd both fallen asleep quickly.

That was very strange for him. He worked the graveyard shift at Lost and Found, so when he did get time off, he tried to stay up through the night then sleep during the day, just like his regular schedule. Last night had been an aberration, though, for several reasons.

In his wildest imaginings, he never would have expected to fall asleep on her couch.

Then when the demons had come, she'd roused him. Her brother had dealt with similar issues, so she'd known what to do.

Taking him to bed and wrapping him in her arms had probably not been her original plan.

Cassandra shifted, her left hand gliding over the skin of his stomach. Roger tensed, wondering if there was a way to get out of the situation without embarrassing them both.

As soon as he'd realized who he cuddled in his arms, his body had gotten interested. And now, with her fingers playing against the sensitive skin of his abs, he was becoming more interested.

He shifted a tiny bit to let her know he was awake.

"Don't leave yet. I just want to lie here and enjoy this," she murmured.

"I'm fine with that. I just wanted to be sure you were awake."

"I am."

He wiggled a little, shifting positions with his hips. Not to draw attention to them, but to ease some of the tiredness.

She sighed and began to ease away, but he tightened his arm around her. "Don't move. I just had to shift my hips a bit. I don't think we've moved all night."

She eased back down against him, nodding slightly against his chest. "My body is aching too, but I hate to move. This has been so perfect. We both slept for hours without any dreams."

For another few minutes they just lay there, watching the light brighten outside her apartment window. He could still see snow falling outside the gauzy curtains.

"What do you dream about, Cassandra?"

"My brother," she said immediately. "We did everything together, because our mother was usually gone. We relied on each other for everything. Even when they put us in the home after our mother died, we would sneak out of the segregated dorms to be with each other. When I turned eighteen and was graduated out of the home, it was the loneliest I've ever been in my life. I made some bad decisions and met some very bad men." 

Roger didn't know if he wanted details or not. "There are a lot of them out there. I will say that. And to a young girl with no direction … "

"Yes," she sighed. "I was on a very bad path until I realized I needed to be ready for Andre when he got out of the home. I needed to be the rock for him that I hadn't had. That made me start thinking, planning. Within a couple weeks I had started a job and was looking for an apartment. About six months after that I petitioned the state to be Andre's guardian. It took months, but they approved me and when he was almost sixteen Andre came to live with me. It was one of the most joyous times I can ever remember, us being together again. We didn't have a lot of furniture or anything at first, so we would camp out on the floor."

"I'm glad you had that time with him."

She nodded against him. "Me too," she whispered.

Neither moved, as if they knew the tenuous wisps of dreams lost would fade away.

"Merry Christmas," he whispered.

Her body jerked, and she began to quiver. Roger thought he had hurt her somehow. "Baby, what's wrong?"

She eased back and turned her face up to look at him, then burrowed it into his shoulder.

Roger levered them both over until she was on her back and he on his elbow beside her. "What's wrong, Cassandra?"

Blinking, fighting tears, she seemed too overcome with emotion to utter a word. Her hands were clasped over her face, fingers rubbing at her eyes. Roger gathered her to him, pressing kisses to her hair and face. "You're breaking my heart, baby. Tell me, please."

"I just-," she gasped, then fought for control. "This is going to sound so lame, but this has been the best Christmas I've ever had."

Roger chuckled against her, relief making him a little giddy. "Damn, woman, I thought there was something seriously wrong."

She shook her head, laying back against his arm. "No. You've done everything right and I don't want this day to end. I'm afraid that when the real world intrudes it's all going to come falling down."

"Why?" he asked softly, looking into her jade-shot eyes.

Her face scrunched up a little. "Because that's the way my life seems to roll. I find something a little tiny bit good and life snatches it away from me. I'm afraid to hope for more."

Roger took her words and gave them the consideration they deserved. Then he pressed a firm kiss to her lips. "I think that, as of last night, your luck has changed."

For a moment she seemed hopeful, then her face crumpled. She started to tremble. "I don't know if I can do it."

He brushed her hair from her forehead. All of the make-up from the night before was gone, but she was still just as beautiful to him.

"What baby?"

For a long heartbeat of time, she looked him in the eye. "I don't know if I can lose you."

Roger stilled, wondering if he'd heard her correctly. The sick feeling in his stomach told him he had, and he realized the thought of leaving her absolutely gutted him as well. They'd been together an incredible ten, twelve hours, maybe not even that long, and he couldn't imagine her not being in his life. Cassandra Jones drew him like no other woman ever had. He cleared his throat, suddenly a little anxious. He knew what he wanted to say to her. It was there in his heart.



       
         
       
        

"I don't think I can lose you either," he admitted.

Her eyes widened as he leaned down to kiss her again, and he realized it was easier to show her how he felt than to articulate it into words. She opened her mouth to him as she cupped his face in her palms.

Roger could count on one hand the number of times he'd been kissed in the past few years, but he'd never in his life been kissed like this. As if the weight of dreams too long unrealized threatened to suck Cassandra under before she had a chance to transfer them to him. Roger took everything, every nibble and moan, and gave her back the same. In spite of the tears just now, he knew Cassandra was a strong woman. She'd battled her way out of poverty and heartbreak, and he wanted to be as strong as she was.

Yes, he'd been through a lot physically, but he felt like she was the warrior.

Roger allowed himself to feel the body beneath him. Lush and soft, Cassandra's shape was his idea of a real woman. Her breasts pressed against his chest, making his hands want to wander, but he didn't want to move too fast. His body was ready to go all the way, and his mind and his heart were quickly getting on board with the idea, but it was entirely up to her. He didn't want to push her into anything.

Cassandra moaned into his mouth, shuddering, and he hardened to the point of pain. Shifting his hips away from her, he tried to maintain control over his rioting body, but it was hard to do with every signal she put out telling him that she wanted him.

Then her hands clutched his ass, dragging him back over top of her. Roger gasped as she ground her pelvis up against his own.

"Oh, fuck, baby, you have to stop doing that or we'll never get out of this bed."

"And is that a bad thing? You're the first man I've wanted here in years."

He stilled and looked down at her. Those seductive eyes of hers were clear with determination and half-slitted with arousal. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, her dark hair a halo around her head. She gave him a soft, tentative smile and shrugged a little self-consciously. "Like I said, had to call cops for the last two. One wouldn't take no for an answer and tried to beat me into a yes, and the other just wanted to get close enough to steal my car. They never got anywhere near my lusciousness, though."