Mistletoe Mischief (Lost and Found #5.5)(2)
Then, his laughter slowly faded. He turned back to face forward, bracing his elbows on the bar as he held the beer bottle between his hands. He seemed to be looking at the prosthetic.
She didn't like feeling like she'd done something to hurt him. Leaning over, she bumped his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
With a single tip of the head, he saluted her with the beer bottle as he took a sip.
"I'm fine. Thank you for the ego stroking. It's been a while."
"I meant every word."
There was a shuffle at the bar as the big guy with the terribly scarred face grabbed a fresh beer from the cooler beneath the bar.
Roger seemed happy for the interruption.
"How's he doing, Zeke?" Roger asked, voice hushed.
The big guy paused for a moment, bright blue eyes shining. "Not too b-b-b-bad. You can tell he's a little rusty."
Cass thought she heard Roger mutter 'aren't we all' under his breath and almost laughed.
With a broad smile, Zeke hustled over to the booth on the far side of the room. A man and a woman sat there, pretty much just staring at each other. The older guy finished off his beer and Zeke dropped the new one in front of him almost seamlessly.
Cass chuckled a little. It was obvious the two in the booth had been set up as well, and you could almost see the attraction between them. "There's a lot of tension in here tonight, and not just because of the holiday."
Roger glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "You have no idea."
Reaching out, she ran a fingernail down over the bulge of deltoid muscle in his right shoulder. She stopped at the edge of the prosthetic, then circled around part way. She didn't understand why she had to touch him. It was very unlike her. But something about the night or the setting made her feel a little … reckless.
Roger gave her that look again, his dark eyes hooded and wary.
Cass drew her finger back, thinking she'd dared enough, and picked up her drink. Her heart raced, giving lie to her calm movements. She hoped Roger couldn't tell how excited she was.
As she'd gotten ready for this party, she'd changed her clothes literally ten times, all in the hope of finding something, anything, that would make her look skinnier. Somewhat disappointingly, it didn't happen. So, she went with a cable knit black sweater, a slinky red camisole visible in the deep V neckline of the sweater. Fancy blue jeans with a little bling on the ass pockets finished off the combo. Comfortable to wear and warm enough when she needed to go out. Okay, and the cut of the sweater made her boobs look good, too, but it didn't matter. It wasn't like anything would come of this date anyway.
She remembered seeing Roger a couple weeks ago, going into the business next door to hers, so tall and strong. He'd been dressed casually in low-slung jeans and a button down shirt. In her heart, she knew he wouldn't be into her. As beautiful as he was, he would take one look at her and relegate her to the 'friends' category. Or if he did actually want to fuck her, he'd wait until they were in the parking lot, away from his own friends, before he let her know. One of her exes had flat out told her she had the kind of shape he liked to fuck, but he'd never stay with her.
Because it just wouldn't be good to be seen with a girl as big as she was.
Now that she was here and actually talking with Roger, she started to think that she'd been wrong assuming he'd be like other men she'd known. Things weren't going the way she'd expected at all, so she could only guess.
There was a burst of chatter from the front of the restaurant and she realized people were looking out the windows. The snow had begun to fall harder outside. The group seemed to be moving to wrap things up.
"I don't want to leave yet," she murmured.
Roger gave her a look, and she could tell he was once again trying to size her up.
"What?" she asked defensively. "I like your people. And I like you. It's been a long time since I've been out and haven't had to threaten to call the cops on my date."
Roger's eyebrows shot up on his forehead and she nodded. "Yep. Last two, anyway. Furry faced, web-footed, octopus mother effers."
He chuckled at her look, or her words, she couldn't tell. She only cared that she'd made him laugh.
Cass stared at his eyes, trying to see the bad. All men had something bad about them. Some men were all bad, others had just a little bit, but they all hid it well. She just couldn't tell with Roger. He seemed like a gentleman. But she'd thought that before.
None of the other men she'd been with had been in the Marines though. Maybe the military had had a redeeming affect on him. It definitely had for her brother.
In the deepest, most protected corner of her heart she hoped he was as real as he seemed.
Roger had turned to look out the windows of the bar. "Did you drive here?" he asked, turning back to her.
Nodding, she looked out the windows again, praying that the damn snow would stop. She'd seen the weather forecast, though, and it hadn't sounded good. She didn't want this evening to end. "Yes," she sighed. "I drove."
Not like she'd not have a car out here, living on her own. Damn she was feeling defensive right now. Was that because he had her emotions so off kilter?
Around them, the group had begun to pack up, the wrapping paper trash picked up and food being wrapped up for safe transport home. There were several people in a huddle over by Roger's good looking boss. The woman with the striking auburn hair spoke a few words, then seemed surprised the direction the conversation went but she eventually nodded.
"I hate to rush you off," Roger said finally, "but I think the weather has taken a turn for the worse."
Dammit.
"Yes, looks like it," she agreed.
She looked at him again, resigned. Tonight had been an aberration for her, on many different levels. It had been a whimsical, intriguing interlude in her not-so-easy life. "I enjoyed being here tonight, Roger."
He smiled a little playfully. "I did too, Miss Cassandra."
Cass waited a moment, hoping he would ask her out, or over for coffee or something, but he didn't. Instead he slid off the stool and reached for the weather gear on the stool beside him. Cass stepped off as well and looped her scarf around her neck, trying not to show her disappointment. When she reached for her coat, he already stood behind her, holding it out. With a little thrill, she reached her arms into the coat and turned to face him, her heart hammering with anticipation. He stood a few inches over six feet, the perfect kissing height.
They were inches apart and for a brief moment he looked like he wanted to lower his head and kiss her, then he blinked, clamped his square jaw and pulled away.
"I'll walk you out."
Cass gritted her teeth. She'd seen that flash of interest in his eyes a couple of times tonight. What the hell did she need to do to get him to commit to something, even something as simple as a kiss?
Then it hit her. Maybe he wouldn't kiss her. Maybe she'd misread everything and this was a goodbye walk.
They each had their insecurities, that much was obvious.
Cass said her goodbyes to the nice women she'd met and walked out of the restaurant, Roger on her heels. She could feel his gaze on her and as she stepped off the curb to the parking lot, he was there to offer her his elbow.
He'd given her his real arm. She tightened her hand on his elbow and thought about leaning her head on his shoulder as they walked into the snow, but she didn't let herself do that. This was going to be the big brush-off scene, she'd played it out before.
She pointed out her car and they moved toward it. At one point she slipped a little, but he tightened his arm and braced to hold her.
"You okay, baby?"
Her heart clenching from the words more than the threat of a painful fall, Cass wanted to turn to him and wrap her arms around him. He had done absolutely everything right. He'd been more solicitous of her than any other man ever had. There was an aching sadness to him that she wanted to make better. Even as he smiled at her through the falling flakes, he seemed … overwhelmed by life. Sad. As if what he wanted was too far out of his reach.
Was she actually seeing that or was she seeing what she wanted to see?
This was so frustrating. Maybe she just needed to lay it out there.
"Roger, I want to see you again."
Cass didn't even realize she'd spoken until his eyes widened. Then, with a sad smile, he shook his head. "I'll follow you home to make sure you get there okay, but that's all, Cassandra. That's all I can give you tonight."
Reaching up, she ran her fingers down his cheek, then down the scarred side of his neck, feeling the texture of the old hurt. He didn't move, but she could feel him withdraw emotionally. Then he stepped back from her and she let her fingers fall to her side.
She'd known this man exactly one evening, just a few hours. She'd never behaved this way with another man in her life, but she feared that if she let him go tonight she wouldn't see him again.
Everything she had in her life now was because she'd dared to reach for it. So, following her instincts, she cupped Roger's neck in her hand and drew him down toward her. Their lips met with the slightest brush, then another. Cass inhaled against his mouth, angled her head then sealed her lips against his.
Now, if he'd truly been against the kiss, he would have drawn away, but he didn't. For a timeless moment, she feared that she would be the only one involved, because he didn't move for such a terribly long time. It was probably only a couple of seconds but it felt like so much more. Then, suddenly, he cupped her face in his hands.