Missing Grace(15)

When he looked at her, her stomach flipped in anticipation. She was nervous and clasped her hands together to keep her idle hands busy. "We're here," he said, cutting the engine.

Hunter had called him crazy and had griped about him the rest of the night, but Jane couldn't help herself. She was told to stay away but couldn't keep her eyes off him. The way Ben looked at her made her feel vulnerable, almost naked that first night. The way he still looked at her, he thought she couldn't see, but his heart lay in the palm of his hands. She was tempted to take it, the desire coming from a place she was unfamiliar with, a place Hunter had never reached. No, I've never felt like this before. What is this? Why are these feelings for him so tangible? 

"Ben?" He sat back in the driver's seat before meeting her gaze and waited to hear what she had to say. "I'm scared."

Doubts clouded her thoughts and mixed with guilt. Was she doing something wrong? Why did she feel like she was betraying Hunter? She knew why. She was sneaking around behind his back. Hunter Barnes was the one who helped her from the beginning of Jane Parker. When the hospital could no longer help her, he did, fully-financially and emotionally. He healed her physically. He turned her tragedy into a fairy tale. Without him, she would be homeless, penniless, wandering the streets. She would be nameless. Instead, she lived in a high-rise apartment building in the best zip code in Chicago. When she was out of the hospital, he helped her establish her identity legally after handling everything for her with the hospital. Everything he did was for her and that made the transition into this unknown life easier, including not having to work. She just had to keep a nice house. She had an endless spending budget and designer clothes. He gave her everything. Not without expectation, but underneath those, he loved her. She knew he did. She owed him her life and had promised her loyalty in return.

But what kind of life was she expected to live? Her complete happiness had been traded for security, so if she was offered a chance to know who she was, how could she turn her back? Ben was in front of her, right there in front of her, offering her the answers she had wanted for years. Surely Hunter would want her to have them. Discovering who she was before the accident will only strengthen their relationship. She will become Mrs. Barnes as a whole woman instead of half the person she was now. Maybe I'll remember what I do for a living . . .

Ben took her hand in his, and she admitted to herself that it was comforting. He treated her with kid gloves, so careful as if she'd break before him. As his eyes roamed over her face, she searched his face for honesty. He said, "I'm here with you, for you. We'll do this together. You can tell me what you want to see and we'll focus on that. One step at a time." Since yesterday, his tone was always gentle with her, even when he was upset. The source of his pain was evident-her. She hated it. She hated hurting him and every time he looked at her, that hurt mingled in the deep green of his eyes. But rivaling that pain, it angered her that her mind refused to remember a man who'd loved her so vehemently, a man that she must have loved as much.

"Thank you," she replied, a small smile appearing just for him, but still holding back the self-hate she felt. "I probably shouldn't tell you everything I'm feeling, but there's something between us that makes me want to open up when I'm around you." Their fingers caressed over the console. "Did I have a good life?"

"You had a very good life, Grace." Even calling her Grace rather than Jane wasn't feeling so dire. He smiled at her as he stepped out of the car. When he came around he took her hand, and they walked toward the elevator together. She felt safe. Despite what Hunter had said about him being potentially dangerous, she felt safe enough to move closer, the length of their arms touching. "Come on. I'll show you."

Five minutes later, they stood in the middle of his living room. She held her tongue but she was positive her surprise was written all over her face. The apartment was soulless, cold with no life. It was opposite of Ben in every way. The crowded city view outside emphasized the sparse insides. "Did you just move in?" she asked, curious as she looked around.



       
         
       
        

"No, I've lived here for a few years. I, um, work a lot." He rubbed the back of his neck, and his chin dipped low, but his eyes looked up under a furrowed brow. "I'm sorry. I'm a bad host. I don't host much. Would you like something to drink or eat? I don't have much in the fridge, but I could probably make sandwiches."