Misfit(274)
Fee frowned. “How’d you guess.”
Christopher scowled. “Cuz you got a pussy and they got dicks and this a baby factory ‘round this motherfucker.”
“You are, Fee?” Stretch whispered, his eyes wide.
She nodded, glaring at her brother for ruining her announcement.
“While motherfuckers blabbin’ shit, I gotta say something,” Christopher said, nodding to Meggie, who grinned and stepped next to him. He pulled out a piece of paper along with a photograph and handed it to her.
Meggie came to Fee and handed her what turned out to be a deed to land and a photo of the very clearing Fee had been coveting the day she and Kendall first went to naked yoga. Her, Cash, and Stretch’s names were listed as owners. “This is our wedding present to you, Fee. For your house.”
“Oh my God!” she cried, handing the deed to Cash and hugging Meggie. “Thank you so much.”
“Ahh, fuck, princess,” Cash said with regret. “I…my savings…it’ll be at least a year or two before we can build.”
“No, it won’t,” Georgie input. “Sloane and I will have your house built as our wedding present.”
“No.”
Cash’s one word fell between everyone like a shard of ice.
“Fuck no,” he added.
“If Stretch wasn’t looking forward to marrying you, I’d deck you, asshole,” Josh snapped as Georgie’s face fell.
“But—”
“No, Georgiana,” Cash shouted. “You’re not building me a fucking house. That’s past the fucking limit. What the fuck do you think I am?”
“An ungrateful motherfucker,” Stretch said with exasperation.
“A dead, ungrateful motherfucker,” Sloane barked. “This gift isn’t up for negotiation. Georgie wants to build you a fucking house. You’re getting the fucking house, McCall. If you ever fucking raise your voice to her again, you’ll also get a fucking spot in the cemetary.”
Christopher smirked. “See, motherfuckers? I ain’t the only fuckin’ Pyscho Stalker Wildman ‘round this motherfucker.”
“Fuck off, Sloane,” Cash said. “I can talk to her anyway I damn well please. She’s my sister.”
Sloane stepped in front of Georgie as if Cash posed an imminent threat to her. “She’s my wife and if you don’t talk to her the way I approve of, I’m going to push your tongue through your cock before I wrap it around your fucking head.”
“Fuck, Sloane, you come up with some good ass ideas,” Christopher said.
“Really, motherfucker?” Cash argued.
Sloane started forward.
“Wait!” Jocelyn cried, running to her son. “I have an idea.”
“If it involves Georgie buying me a house, Mom, forget it.”
“It doesn’t,” she said quickly, then beamed a smile at Fee. “It involves Georgie buying Ophelia the house.”
“Mother…” Cash began.
“Hear me out, son. Fee’s having a baby. She shouldn’t have to worry about this project with a small child underfoot, which, according to you, will be when you’re about ready.”
“We in all this together,” Cash grumbled. “If her name’s on it, then me and Stretch have to be included.”
“May I say something?” Kendall asked and Johnnie tensed, nervous even now.
“Go ahead,” Fee said. She couldn’t make the situation any worse…well, she could because it was Kendall, but she was behaving.
“Why don’t Georgie give the house as a gift?” Kendall started. “Then, when Cash has the money, he pays half back to her? That way both of them will be appeased.”
Cash and Stretch exchanged looks, then nodded.
“We’re all agreed?” Jocelyn asked.
“Yes,” Georgie, Stretch, Cash, Fee, and Sloane chorused, like preschoolers.
“Thank God,” Father Wilkins said with exasperation.
Cash swept her into his arms. “Are you happy, Fee?”
“Yes, very,” she answered.
“We have to celebrate our new house and our new baby.”
Father Wilkins cleared his throat. “After this wedding, if you want me to preside.”
“If you ain’t fuckin’ presidin’ you givin’ me my fuckin’ money back or you gettin’ fucked up,” Christopher told him, sucking on his teeth, and glaring at the priest.
“Get on with it,” Stretch said, hiding a grin at the priest’s glower.
With love flowing between them, Fee stood at the altar with her two men, knowing she had a lifetime of happiness ahead and a life that would be never boring.