Marriage of Inconvenience(Knitting in the City Book #7)(72)
I felt her stiffen. She drew away, but remained close enough to whisper very, very quietly in return. “When is the last time you tried?”
“Over six years ago.” I couldn’t believe I was being so candid.
“Holy cow!” Marie flinched, shook her head, and then winced. “Sorry.”
“No need to apologize. It’s been a long time and it definitely deserves a sacred bovine exclamation of surprise.”
“Sacred bovine—? What about when you’re alone?”
I shook my head, glancing to the side to make absolutely sure no one could hear us, the heat of mortification slithering up my neck and down my spine. “Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn’t.”
She covered my hand on her arm, her eyes wide with compassion. “You’re seeing someone, right? A therapist?”
“Yes.”
“What does she say?”
“It’s been a long time since we discussed it. But I spoke to Sandra, and she told me to do research, on my likes and dislikes, come up with a list of things that, you know, turn me on.”
“That makes sense. What did Sandra say about Dan and you?”
“I didn’t confirm or deny Sandra’s suspicions about me and Dan.”
“Well then, what did your therapist say?”
“I haven’t talked to Dr. Kasai since last Friday, and at that time the marriage was supposed to be a fake one. Which, I guess, is fake. But the relationship might be real. Which means the marriage might eventually become real.” What a mess.
“You should talk to her. Maybe,”—her wide blue eyes moved between mine as she considered her next words—“maybe Dan can help?”
I removed my hand from her grip as a surge of guilt made it difficult to speak. “All he does is help me. And what do I do for him? He won’t even let me thank him.”
“He cares for you.”
“And I care for him.”
“Good. Then let him help.”
Spiky, hot sensations prickled in my chest and I rubbed the spot under my breast, over my heart, where the pain was worse. “If he would let me do something for him in return—”
“That’s not how relationships work. And if you would talk to us—not just to me, but to Janie and Fiona, Sandra and Elizabeth, to Ashley—we could all tell you this together.”
“I don’t want to be—”
“I swear, if you say ‘I don’t want to be a burden’ I will do an exposé in the Chicago Tribune and I’ll entitle it, ‘Heiress in Hiding.’”
Her threat worked even though I knew she’d never follow through. This was Marie’s version of tough love. I snapped my mouth shut.
But she wasn’t finished. “Do you think Janie was a burden when she was going through that mess with her sister? When she was planning her wedding? Or was Elizabeth a burden when her dad remarried and Nico showed up and we all danced in our underwear on that stage? How about Sandra? When she asked us to help save Alex and pull together a wedding at the last minute? What about when Ashley’s mother died? Or when we helped her move last year? Or Fiona when she needed our help with Greg in Nigeria? No.” She stared at me, then added firmly, “No. This is what we do.”
I nodded, my eyes stinging for some inexplicable reason.
“You are not a burden.” Her gaze turned softer, once again beseeching. “This is what a family looks like. Not that serpent you call cousin. This is what a family does.”
The impromptu gathering only lasted a short while longer before Greg kicked everyone out, saying, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
Hugs were handed out liberally, but Dan and I—through some unspoken agreement—loitered together in the hall until everyone else departed.
As soon as the last of our friends were out of sight, he turned to me. “Hey, I know you gotta be tired. But can we go someplace? Just you and me?”
I was nodding before he finished speaking. “Yes. That would be so great.”
Dan offered me a smile and held out his hand. I took it, loving that holding his hand was quickly becoming the norm. We walked together through the hall and onto the elevator. Since we were surrounded by people, neither of us spoke. Instead, I enjoyed how our fingers tangled, how our shoulders touched, how he glanced at me a few times and gave me an irresistible smile.
We disembarked on the parking garage level and Dan steered us to a waiting black SUV. While I marveled at how the car seemed to magically appear, Dan opened the door for me. I skootched in and buckled my seat belt. He climbed in after, taking the middle spot, and did the same.