Marriage of Inconvenience(Knitting in the City Book #7)(71)
Whereas Marie was my friend. I trusted her. Unlike Sandra, she was no mental health expert and she didn’t know all the sordid details of my past (she only knew some of the sordid details). She wasn’t looking at me through the lens of my upbringing. She was looking at me and listening to me as a friend. Unburdening myself without any expectation that actionable advice was forthcoming, just an open heart and support, felt great.
“Caleb Tyson is a bottom feeder,” she spat, making an angry face and glaring off into the distance. “Man, I’d love to take him down.”
Of course Marie knew who Caleb was. As a reporter, she was up-to-date on all the latest domestic, political, and business news. Caleb was always in the news for something, usually having to do with lobbying efforts in Washington, DC, or hiking drug prices, or buying another huge yacht.
“Well, he’s my closest relative and my only family not institutionalized. How do you think I feel?” I huffed a humorless laugh.
Her gaze cut to mine. “That man is not your family.”
“Every time I leave the Boston office, I feel like he’s hiding something from the board, from me. Something isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?”
Again I hesitated, studying her. “I want to tell you, but you’re a reporter.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Oh. Yes. I mean, I wish I could tell you I won’t report or share anything you don’t give me permission to share or report, but I can’t really do that and maintain my ethics as a journalist. If you feel like your cousin is hiding something from the board, maybe talk to Alex?”
“You think so?”
“Yes.” She grinned. “What he lacks in professional ethics he makes up for in morals and loyalty. I want to help—and if you think I can help, please let me know—but obviously you don’t want me to dismantle your grandfather’s company in the process. I mean, I understand your concern for the people who work there. If having a journalist involved will hurt the stability of the company, best to keep me in the dark.”
I nodded, appreciating her honesty, but wishing I could discuss the situation with her. I could’ve used her level head, inquisitive mind, and uncanny abilities to quickly comprehend new concepts and adapt to new situations.
We’d almost made it back to Fiona’s room when Marie stopped me with a hand on my elbow. “What are you going to do about Dan?”
I glanced to the ceiling and exhaled. “I don’t know.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Kiss him.”
She gave me a gleeful grin and folded her hands under her chin. “Yay!”
I laughed and rubbed my forehead. “But, Marie, I’ve spent so long thinking of him as off-limits, not even a possibility. I know him, but I don’t. And he doesn’t know me, but he does.”
“Yes. So what? That’s the nature of friendship. You know a person as a friend, but not intimately, and that’s fine. Your relationship will now be built upon a foundation of years. Years of mutual respect and—as Dan would say—wicked attraction.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited—no, elated—ecstatic. But I’m also concerned for him.”
“About what? Give me some specifics.”
“Other than the obvious Caleb-lurking-in-the-shadows concerns?”
She nodded. “Forget your sinister cousin for a moment. He doesn’t exist. What worries do you have about Dan?”
“His family. I don’t want to cause difficulty between him and his family. We’re married and—”
She waved my words away. “That’s normal stuff. Everyone worries about their significant other’s family and related opinions. I think they’ll love you, but either way it always works out. Or it doesn’t. All you can do is be yourself—which is wonderful—and give them every chance to be equally wonderful.”
“Okay, second fear, what if he loses interest in me? What if things don’t work out between us?”
She blinked once and then laughed. She laughed and laughed, eventually wiping the tears of hilarity from her eyes. “I’m not—I don’t have an answer for you. You’re just going to have to have faith in Dan that he’ll realize how amazing you are and never want to let you go.”
“But what if I don’t have faith in myself?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if there are things about me that make me not amazing?”
“Kat.” Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head. “I’m not going to stand here and try to convince you that you’re—”
I gripped her arm, tugged her forward, and whispered on a rush, “I’ve never been able to relax enough to have sex without alcohol.”