Marital Bitch(82)

I'm not mad, a little grossed out, but not mad. I'm also slightly worried about what would cause a grown woman to pee her pants.

"Ma'am," the nurse persists, "I need to change the sheets." Colleen shakes her head and she starts crying hysterically.

"Okay, it's my pee. Are you happy?" She's yelling, probably alerting the whole damn floor that she peed on me. Just saying it makes it sound like some weird sex game. Colleen flings herself off of me and when she stands I can see the wet spot on the crotch of her yoga pants. Before I can tell her it's okay, even if it kind of isn't, she rushes into the en-suite bathroom and slams the door, wailing on the inside.

The nurse decides to throw me a bone and smiles softly. "It's okay, Mr. Patrick. Lots of women have trouble controlling their bladders when they're pregnant." I pause before responding and think about that. For a few weeks I've had the subtle suspicion on the back of my head that Colleen might be pregnant. I wasn't sure and I thought I might be crazy or it might be wishful thinking; but I didn't have anything else to explain her insanity and weight gain.

"She's not—or we don't know that she is," I fumble over my words; the nurse smiles and nods.

"She is," she says, "I can tell these things." And then she walks out and returns with an orderly who brings in a fresh bed and some supplies. After a few minutes of prodding the nurse convinces Colleen to open the bathroom door and to accept the offered hospital gown. Her small, pale hand slips out, grabs the gown, and jets back in. After some time, she even lets the nurse in the bathroom with her. When she emerges, she's wearing a hospital gown and I'm, thankfully, in a fresh bed and new gown myself. Unfortunately, I also had to undergo a sponge bath from Alejandro, a very nice, but very male nurse.

"Waddle on over here, pretty girl and tell me what you're thinking," I grin. Her face is fuller than it used to be. If this was two months ago, that gown would be like a tent, but now it gently hugs her hips and her breasts appear much larger. She's looking shy and a little nervous.

"I think that first test was wrong, but I'm scared for it to have been right." I nod, understanding that. The negative results from the first test were really hard on her. I don't want her going through that again, but damn if I wouldn't feel better if she were knocked up and not just a drive-by peer. There's a lot I'll live with, but getting peed on in the middle of the night is not one of them—not on a routine basis anyway.

Colleen walks up to me but doesn't crawl in the bed. "I don't want to pee again," she confesses. I reach over and grab her by the hips and pull her up against the bed, letting my hands travel. She squirms under my touch, uncomfortable in her own skin.

"Please let me touch you." I continue to let my hands travel up and down her sides before I go for the gold. She tries to pull away when I touch her stomach, but I refuse to let her.

"Whether this is all you or this is a baby, I love you just the same. I'm not going to judge you, pretty girl." Her body begins to relax and I continue to feel the shape of her abdomen. I'd be lying if I said I could tell from touching her, but I can't.

"That damn nurse made me pee in a cup," she mutters. I laugh loudly.

"You mean you had more in you after that water show?" She smacks my arm and laughs.

"You pee on someone once over a thirty-five year period and they just can't let it go," she smiles ruefully, lips pursed, and giggling.

"When I said I wanted to get you wet, that wasn't exactly what I meant, pretty girl."

"Shut up," she says, still in a fit of giggles.

"I love you," I say. She mouths it back to me. It sounds natural, as it should. Loving Colleen is the most natural thing in the world for me. I don't know another way; but her loving me back still catches me off guard.

The nurse pops her head in just as we're about to kiss. We both turn to her, suddenly a collective ball of nerves, and she nods her head, smiling and mouths 'congratulations'. I lean in and ghost my lips over Colleen's ear as the nurse closes the door to give us some privacy during this very big, life-changing moment for us.

"So, if you're going to be peeing for the next few months, we're going to have to get you a diaper, pretty girl." She turns her head and narrows her eyes at me, full of playfulness; and then breaks into a big, teary grin.

"We're having a baby," she whispers. I nod. We're having a baby.





CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

(Colleen)





Our babies.





I SIGH AND blink back my exhaustion that has been creeping up on me for months now. It seems every time I think I turn a corner, something else pops up. First it was the throwing up—all of the freaking time—and then it was the persistent peeing. I flatly refuse to broach the topic of my bowel movements. Brad must love me to survive it. He really loves me.