Man of the House(160)

I hated her decision. I understood it, understood why she wanted to do what she was doing, but I couldn’t support that shit.

A lot of guys in the club treated their women like fucking garbage to be thrown out, and I was guilty of that shit too. I fucked around plenty, though I never promised I was doing anything more than that. But when it came to Janine, I couldn’t picture marrying her off like she was some cheap product to be bought and sold.

I didn’t know what the fuck was happening with me. Maybe I was going soft all of a sudden. I knew the other guys wouldn’t love that we’d marry off one of our girls to further the club’s agenda, but they’d shut their mouth because the club came first.

Well, I’d been putting the club first for most of my life. I wasn’t a fucking mindless drone just following orders. I felt like marrying Janine off like that was wrong, and I wasn’t going to sit around and pretend otherwise.

I rode farther and farther out into the desert. Out here, it felt like the world had no end. Distances were deep and long, ground flat and smooth, broken up by mountains and cities. The red dust of the ground blew endlessly, shifting inches every year, both living and dead. It was the perfect place as far as I was concerned, as I lived my life in that place between the living and the dead.

I was an enforcer, death riding a bike. I destroyed my club’s enemies with a righteous fury and never once looked back.

But what did I do when my enemies were a part of my club?

I stayed out riding for an hour, but I knew I had to go back. I couldn’t just run from my fucking problems; I wasn’t that type of man. I turned around and headed back toward the clubhouse, my body a mess of tension.

The place was more crowded when I pulled up. I recognized a bunch of the bikes parked outside and saw Dow sitting with Ford over at a table in the corner. I headed over there.

“Clutch,” Ford said.

“Dow, Ford.” I sat down. “What’s the word?”

Dow shrugged. “You know about Janine, right?”

“Yeah,” I grunted. “I’ve been her bodyguard.”

Ford laughed. “Bodyguard? You?”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “I’ve been following her around, sleeping on her couch.”

“Shit, man,” Dow said. “You know she’s a claimed lady now, right?”

“I know it,” I said.

“Guess you can’t be slipping into her bed at night,” Dow went on.

“Never did.”

“Come on,” Ford said, grinning, “we know you, man. We’ve seen you two flirting over the years. You mean to say you didn’t touch her at all?”

The memory of Janine pressing herself against me, kissing me hard in the parking lot came back. She tasted incredible, amazing.

I shook my head. “Nothing,” I said.

“Well,” Dow said, “missed your chance, I guess. Jetter will be marrying her any time now.”

“Fucking Jetter,” Ford said. “That piece of shit. I can’t believe we’re really patching them over.”

“Makes sense for the war,” Dow said. “I hate Jetter as much as the next guy, but right now I hate the Snakes more.”

“Shit, never thought I’d say it, but I agree. Right now, the Snakes are worse than the Rebels.”

Dow nodded. “Soon, the Rebels will be Demons anyway.”

Ford looked at me. “What do you think, Clutch? What’s Janine saying?”

I shook my head slowly. “Won’t lie to you, boys. I think this marriage thing is bullshit.”

“Why?” Dow asked. “Not like we haven’t used marriage before.”

Ford grinned. “Yeah. I’ve been there, done that.”

“Worked out for you,” I said. “But Janine, she doesn’t like Jetter any more than we do. And he’s a fucking scumbag.”

“So?” Dow asked. “It’s not like it’ll be real.”

“It’ll be real enough, at least to him,” I said. “She’s a part of this club, even if she’s not a member. Seems wrong to pawn her off for our own gains.”

Ford nodded slowly. “I hear you, brother.”

“What’s she saying about it?” Dow pushed.

“Not much honestly,” I admitted. “You know how she is. She loves the club, will do anything for it.”

“Yeah,” Dow said. “Not a shock there.”

“It’ll work out, brother,” Ford said to me. “Always does. Don’t stress it.”

“Not stressing it,” I said. “Whatever the club wants, it gets.”

The two of them heard the darkness in my voice, but neither of them said anything about it.