Man of the House(159)

“Fine. Nobody asked you to.”

He started his engine again and pulled out, riding away.

I watched him go and wished he hadn’t left. I wanted him there in the room for some reason, almost like I drew strength from him being around.

But it was done and he had left. I wasn’t backing down from this just because Clutch had decided to ride off.

I turned and walked into the clubhouse, determined.

It was early again, and so it was pretty empty. I spotted Stonewall and Larkin sitting at the bar, eating breakfast and talking softly.

With nervous pains in my stomach, I walked right up to them.

“Morning, Janine,” Stonewall said. “You look serious.”

I tried to smile. “Just got to talk to my dad about something.”

Stonewall frowned. “Yeah, okay.”

Dad stood up. “Let’s go into my office.”

I nodded and followed him into the back room. He sat down behind his desk with a sigh, but I stayed standing, not wanting to be too comfortable.

“Listen, Dad,” I said.

“Wait,” he interrupted me. “Hold on a second. I just want you to know that whatever you decide, you’re always a part of this club.”

“I want to do it.”

He stared at me silently for a second, and I could see the pain in his eyes, though he was trying to mask it.

“Are you sure?” he said softly.

“I’m sure. If I have a chance to help this club, maybe even save a few lives, I’ll do it.”

“You don’t owe this club anything.”

I smiled softly. “That’s what Clutch said.”

Dad raised an eyebrow. “Smart boy.”

“But I do owe this club everything,” I said quickly. “You saved my life back then, and everyone here welcomed me, raised me. You’ve all sacrificed a lot for the club, and now it’s my turn.”

He looked mournful, like someone he loved had just died. I hated to see him like that, but I knew I was doing the right thing.

It wasn’t the easy thing, but it was the right thing.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll tell the others.”

“What happens next?”

He shrugged slowly. “I’m not sure. I’ll get in touch with Jetter and the Rebels. We’ll work it out.”

“How fast will it happen?”

“Not fast,” he said. “Jetter will claim you first, get everyone used to the idea. Then we’ll start patching them over. Then you’ll get married.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding. “So I have some time to get used to the idea.”

“You’ve got time, hopefully a lot of it.”

“Thanks.”

He stared at me, still frowning. “You can change your mind, you know.”

“I won’t.”

“But you can. Anytime you want out, tell me, and I’ll make sure you’re out.”

“I’m not backing down.”

He smiled softly. “Yeah. I don’t expect you will. You’ve always been a strong girl, Janine.”

“Thanks,” I said.

He stood up, sighing. “Damn, I’m getting old.” He nodded at the door. “Come on. Let’s eat something.”

I followed him out back toward the bar and sat down with him and Stonewall.

We talked and joked, but the laughter seemed strained. I could tell that Stonewall knew what the conversation had been about and knew what my decision was. I couldn’t guess what he thought of it, but neither of the men seemed particularly happy about what was going on.

This was the cost of war. This was what I did to help my club through a war. Maybe I couldn’t ride or shoot a gun, but I could do this for them. I could make sacrifices.

Clutch would come around and accept it eventually. Or maybe he wouldn’t. That shouldn’t matter to me.

And yet all I wanted was for him to come back through that door, crack some cocky joke, and go back to the way things used to be.

This was how it had to be. I’d made this decision and I had to deal with the consequences. Clutch should understand that the club came first, even if I wasn’t an official member.

The club mattered over everything else. Wasn’t that the sort of thing they always said? Maybe I didn’t wear the patch, but I was family.

And I was going to sacrifice to keep my family safe.





12





Clutch





I felt the cool air whipping past my body as I rode out along the highway.

I’d been riding my whole life, and it still was the only thing that really cleared my head. Sex felt good and calmed me, violence and excitement felt good and made life worth living, but riding was the only thing that really relaxed me anymore.

And I knew that I needed to get away from that clubhouse. My blood was on fire as the memory of the night before came back to me. I remembered the feeling of those douchebag college kids getting beaten down for disrespecting Janine, and I remembered her body pressed against mine in the parking lot.