Maid for a Magnate(25)

Catalina stared into those eyes and for once she saw hope; she saw a need that had nothing to do with sex.

Resting her head on his shoulder, Catalina whispered, "One of us is going to get hurt."





      Fourteen

Catalina leaned back against Will's chest as they settled onto the  oversized plush sofa on the top deck. The full moon provided enough  light and just the perfect ambiance; even Will couldn't have planned it  better.

Granted he didn't like that the yacht was damaged or that Catalina had  been injured, but the feel of her wrapped in his arms, their legs  intertwined, even as he was careful of her ankle, was everything he'd  wanted since he let her walk away so long ago.

Will laced his hands over her stomach and smiled when she laid her hands atop his.                       
       
           



       

"It's so quiet and peaceful," she murmured. "The stars are so vibrant here. I guess I never pay much attention in Alma."

"One of these days you're going to have your own maid, your own staff,"  he stated firmly. "You deserve to be pampered for all the hours you  work without asking for anything in return. You work too hard."

"I do," she agreed. "I have so many things I want to do with my life and working is what keeps me motivated."

A strand of her hair danced in the breeze, tickling his cheek, but he  didn't mind. Any way he could touch her and be closer was fine with him.  She wasn't trying to ignore this pull and she'd actually relaxed fully  against him. This is what they needed. The simplicity, the privacy.

"What are your goals, Cat?"

"I'd love a family someday."

The wistfulness in her tone had him wanting to fulfill those wishes.  Will knew he'd never be able to sit back and watch her be with someone  else, make a life and a family with another man.

"What else?" he urged. "I want to know all of your dreams."

She stiffened in his arms. Will stroked her fingers with his, wanting  to keep her relaxed, keep her locked into this euphoric moment.

"It's just me, Cat." He purposely softened his tone. "Once upon a time we shared everything with each other."

"We did. I'm just more cautious now."

Because of him. He knew he'd damaged that innocence in her, he knew  full well that she was a totally different woman because of his selfish  actions. And that fact was something he'd have to live with for the rest  of his life. All he could do was try to make things better now and move  forward.

"I shouldn't have let you go," he muttered before he could think.

"Everything happens for a reason."

Will didn't miss the hint of pain in her tone. "Maybe so, but I should've fought for you, for us."

"Family has always been your top priority, Will. You've been that way  since your mother passed. You threw yourself into pleasing your father  and James ran wild. Everyone grieves differently and it's affected your  relationships over the years."

Will shouldn't have been surprised that she'd analyzed him and his  brother so well. Cat had always been so in tune with other people's  feelings. Had he ever done that for her? Had he ever thought of her  feelings if they didn't coincide with his own wants and needs?

"I never wanted you hurt." Yet he'd killed her spirit anyway. "I have  no excuse for what I did. Nothing I say can reverse time or knock sense  into the man I was four years ago."

"Everything that happened made me a better person." She shifted a bit  and lifted her ankle to resettle it over the edge of the sofa. "I poured  myself into new things, found out who I really am on my own. I never  would've done that had I been with you."

Will squeezed her tighter. "I wouldn't have let you lose yourself, Cat.  Had you been with me I would've pushed you to do whatever you wanted."

She tipped her head back and met his gaze. "You wouldn't have let me work. You would've wanted the perfect, doting wife."

There was a ring of truth to her words. He most likely would have tried to push her into doing what he thought was best.

"I wasn't good to you." He swallowed. "You were better off without me,  but it killed me to let you go, knowing you'd be fine once you moved  on."

Silence settled heavily around them before she finally said, "I wasn't fine."

"You were dating a man two months after we broke up."

Cat turned back around, facing the water. "I needed to date, I needed  to move on in any way that I could and try to forget you. When I was  alone my mind would wander and I'd start to remember how happy I was  with you. I needed to fill that void in any way I possibly could."

Will swallowed. He'd hated seeing her with another man, hated knowing he was the one who drove her into another's arms.

"I slept with him."

Her words cut through the darkness and straight to his heart. "I don't want-"

"I slept with him because I was trying to forget you," she went on as  if he hadn't said a word. "I was ready to give myself to you, then you  chose to obey your father once again at my expense. When I started  dating Bryce, I mistook his affection for love. I knew I was on the  rebound, but I wanted so badly to be with someone who valued me, who  wanted to be with me and put me first."
                       
       
           



       
Those raw, heartfelt words crippled him. He'd had no idea just how much  damage he'd caused. All this time, she'd been searching for anyone to  put her at the top of their priority list when he'd shoved her to the  bottom of his.

"Afterward I cried," she whispered. "I hated that I'd given away  something so precious and I hated even more that I still wished I'd  given it to you."

Her honesty gutted him. Will wished more than anything he could go back  and make changes, wished he could go back and be the man she needed him  to be.

But he could be honest now, he could open up. She'd shared such a deep,  personal secret, he knew she deserved to know why he'd let her go so  easily.

"I had to let you go."

"I know, your father-"

"No." Will adjusted himself in the seat so he could face her better. "I  need you to know this, I need you to listen to what I'm saying. I let  you go because of my father, but not for the reasons you think."

The moon cast enough of a glow for Will to see Cat's dark eyes widen. "What?"

"I let you go to save you. My father's threats..." Will shook his head,  still angry over the way he'd let his father manipulate him. "As soon  as I let you go, I was plotting to get you back, to put my father in his  place. I didn't care how long it took, didn't care what I had to do."

Cat stared back at him, and he desperately wanted to know what was  swirling around in her head. There was so much hurt between them, so  many questions and years of resentment. Will hated his father for  putting him in this position, but he hated even more the way Cat had  been the victim in all of this.

"Your father threatened me, didn't he?" Cat asked, her voice low, yet  firm. "He held me over your head? Is that why you let me go?"

Swallowing the lump of guilt, Will nodded.

Cat sat up, swung her feet over the side and braced her hands on either  side of her hips. Will lifted his leg out of her way and brought his  knee up to give her enough room to sit. He waited while she stared down  at the deck. Silence and moonlight surrounded them, bathing them in a  peace that he knew neither of them felt.

"Talk to me." He couldn't handle the uncertainty. "I don't want you going through this alone."

A soft laugh escaped her as she kept her gaze averted. "But you didn't care that I went through this alone four years ago."

"Dammit, Cat. I couldn't let you get hurt. He had the ability to ruin you and I wasn't going to put my needs ahead of yours."

When she threw him a glance over her shoulder, Will's gut tightened at  the moisture gathered in her eyes. "You didn't put my needs first at  all. You didn't give me a chance to fight for us and you took the easy  way out."

Raking a hand over his hair, Will blew out a breath. "I didn't take the  easy way," he retorted. "I took the hardest way straight through hell  to keep you safe and to work on getting you back."

She continued to stare, saying nothing. Moments later her eyes widened. "Wait," she whispered. "How did Bella come into play?"

"You know I never would've married her. That was all a farce to begin  with." Will shifted closer, reaching out to smooth her hair back behind  her ear. "And once I kissed you, I knew exactly who I wanted, who I  needed."

Cat started to stand, winced and sat back down. Will said nothing as he  pushed his leg around her, once again straddling her from behind. He  pulled her back against his chest and leaned on the plush cushions. Even  though she remained rigid, he knew the only way to get her to soften  was for him to be patient. He'd waited four years; he was the epitome of  patient.