Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes(37)

I didn’t bother me head. Ah, let them have it, I thought. An I went back out onta the street. I saw Mr Wills from the house a coupla doors down standin on the step talkin te a man. I dashed down an waited till he was ready. Mr Wills is not married an has no childre, an if ye catch him after work he’ll give ye money fer doin his messages. I was waitin an waitin an hoppin up an down from one foot te me other, waitin. Then another young one saw him an came rushin over. ‘I’m here first,’ I screamed at her. ‘Ye’re not gettin him! I saw him first.’

‘Ye don’t own him!’ tha one screamed back at me.

Mr Wills stopped talkin an looked at us. ‘Take it easy, childre. Wha’s wrong wit ye’s?’

‘Do ye want any messages, Mr Wills? I was here first, an I’ll get them fer ye,’ I said.

The other one roared, ‘No, Mr Wills, she’ll take all day! I’m faster!’

‘No, ye’re not!’ I roared. ‘I’m faster than you!’

‘OK,’ Mr Wills said. ‘If ye don’t stop fightin, none of ye’s will go. I’ll go meself!’

So we both shut up an just stood there watchin him quietly. He turned aroun an leaned on the railins. ‘Ah, look!’ I said. ‘He has a big tear in the arse of his trousers.’ An the two of us stood starin at his arse an wonderin if he knew his trousers was torn an everybody could see up his arse. I felt sorry fer him, cos he didn’t have much money after all.

He gave me thruppence fer doin his messages, an I bought meself a Flash bar – tha’s toffee covered in chocolate, an it’s very dear. It cost me tuppence, an I bought a hapeworth of black jacks an the jelly babies fer me brother.

I was comin along the street lickin me Flash bar when I saw them young ones comin outa Matt Talbot’s. ‘Where’d ye get that?’ they asked, starin at me Flash bar.

‘Give us a lick, will ya?’ Sambidge asked.

‘Fuck off!’ I said, lickin me Flash bar.

‘I’m tellin! Ye won’t get inta the club again. The sisters will bar ye!’ Sambidge roared.

‘I don’t care, cos I’m not let go anyway,’ I said.

‘Listen, I’ll be yer friend if ye give us a bite!’

‘No!’ I said. ‘Ye’re too mean. I don’t want te know ye.’

Then the woman came down. ‘Sister! Sister! Can I see Matt Talbot’s Room?’ I asked. They brought me up, an I knelt at the side of the bed, but I forgot me prayers, cos I didn’t go back te school after the nice nun put the lovely clothes on me. Jackser got me ma te pawn the lot. I was lookin at how clean the room was an wondered if Matt Talbot kept it this clean or did the Legion women clean it themselves after he died.

I was talkin te Annie, me friend from the next house. She’s bigger than me, she’s eight. She wears lovely clothes. She was wearin a wool pleated skirt an long socks, an brown leather shoes wit straps, an a jumper wit animals on it. An she has lovely long hair. Anyway, I asked Annie where she got her doll from, an she let me hold it fer a minute. ‘I got it from Santa Claus,’ she said.

‘Who’s tha?’ I asked.

‘It’s a man. He has a long white beard, an he wears a red suit an wellington boots. He comes down the chimney at Christmas.’

‘I never heard of him,’ I said, wonderin. ‘How do you get him te come te ye?’

‘Well,’ she said, ‘ye leave a letter out on the mantelpiece, an if ye’re good, he’ll give ye toys.’

‘Will he come te me if I write a letter fer him?’ I asked.

‘Yeah, course he will, just write him a letter!’

‘OK, I will,’ I said, eyein her doll. But I had a feelin Santa would never find me. Some things just don’t happen. Like the doll in the dustbin. They were makin a fool of me. They’d gone te the pictures. They were only liars!

We were still standin against her hall door, an it was beginnin te get dark an very cold, when a man stopped on a bicycle an asked us fer directions. He asked me te come over, cos he couldn’t hear us. I went over te him an was pointin in the direction he should go when he put his hand under me frock, an I had no knickers on. I looked at his face in shock. An I was very afraid. He was tryin te get a hold of me an lift me up on te the bike, an tryin te pedal off at the same time. ‘Let me go! I want te get down! Mammy!’ I shouted.

‘Keep quiet! I only want you te show me where the place is. Then I’ll bring you back,’ he said.

‘Annie! Help me!’

He had one arm aroun me waist an was tryin te stop me gettin off the bike, wit his other arm holdin the handlebars. I hit him in the face wit the back of me head, an his glasses flew off. Then I stretched meself rigid an dropped te the ground. He landed on top of me an was lashin out, hurtin me. He was tryin te keep a hold of me an find his glasses. I was not even screamin, I was too intent on tryin te loosen his grip on me. I scrambled off as he was gettin up, an he grabbed me foot, holdin me by me ankle as he looked aroun fer his glasses. ‘I’ll snap yer fuckin neck if ye move again,’ he said.