Ma, He Sold Me for a Few Cigarettes(187)

I wandered inta the sittin room, not really wantin te be near me ma. ‘Look at this poor child’s head, Martha,’ she said, holdin Sally on her lap an sittin on the floorboards. ‘The child’s head is covered in sores.’ I looked at Sally, an she looked sickly, her eyes dead in her head an not lookin at anythin. Her head was covered in sores an a few aroun her forehead. ‘She picked tha up from tha place out in Cheeverstown! They’re full a diseases them places! As soon as I saw her I said I was takin her home. They were tryin te stop me, but I told them they had no rights. An tha aul fella said he was responsible fer signin them in, an now, says he, I’m takin them out. An don’t try te stop me.’ Then me ma laughed. ‘They were afraid of their life, cos they knew they were in the wrong. There’s nothin they can do when ye have yer own home. So fuck them!’

Me ma was ramblin on, but I wasn’t listenin. I was lookin at Dinah sittin beside me ma an lookin away when she saw anyone lookin at her. Her eyes were dead, too, an her face was very white. I tried te lift her. ‘Come on, Dinah,’ I said, smilin at her, an she let her head fall back an keened, not really cryin, an actin like she didn’t know me. I put her back down on the floor beside me ma, an she just lay there. Not lookin at anythin, no life in her.





38


Jackser was pacin himself up an down the sittin room watchin fer the gate. ‘Now ye know wha te say te him! Don’t ya?’

‘Yeah, Jackser!’ I said, wishin te get it over wit.

‘Tell him nothin! Keep yer mouth shut. An keep yer eyes on me. I’ll let ye know when te answer somethin. If he asks any awkward questions, leave it te me. Just pretend te be stupid. But the main thing is te say nothin, ye can’t be hanged fer wha ye don’t say! Have ye got tha now?’

‘Yeah! Right, Jackser. I’m te say nothin.’

‘Right! Fuck this waitin, he should be here by now,’ he said, lookin outa the winda. ‘Wha’s tha smell?’ an he sniffed his way aroun the room. ‘Did ye make sure te clean up tha shit the babby did over there?’

I looked over beside the corner near the fire. ‘Yeah, Jackser! It’s all cleaned up.’

‘Well, check aroun again,’ he roared, clenchin his fists. ‘I can still smell somethin. I told tha lazy aul hag te get this room cleaned up.’

I rushed aroun lookin in corners. The floorboards was caked black wit dirt. ‘Yeah, it’s OK, Jackser,’ I said, keepin close te the door, well away from him over at the winda.

Then he pointed at the ceilin. ‘Get up there an tell tha aul one te keep them fuckin kids quiet. I can hear them movin aroun.’

I rushed out the door. An then I could hear the gate squeakin open. ‘He’s here, Jackser!’ I said, rushin back in.

‘I know tha!’ he said, grabbin me an pushin me outa the way. He opened the door himself, an a man came in carryin a leather bag. He stopped just inside the door, takin in the room. An his mouth dropped open, an his eyes flew aroun the room, then lit on me. Then he looked at his shoes, not sure if he should come in or go back out. Jackser came up behind him, sayin, wit a big smile on his face an droppin his head te show respect, ‘Eh! Martha’s in here, Sir!’ an he rushed over te the table tha was bare now. Me ma had te clear all the dirty jam jars an milk bottles away fer the man’s visit. ‘Eh! Sit here, Sir!’ an pulled out the only chair tha wasn’t goin te collapse when ye sat on it.

The man sat at the top of the table, an I sat on his right. An Jackser sat on his left, starin straight at me. ‘Now!’ the man said, openin his bag an takin out a big bunch a forms. ‘You know why I’ve come here? I have been sent by the court, because the judge wants a report on Martha. My name is Dr Carroll. And I want you, Martha, to answer my questions.’

I looked at Jackser, an he shook his head an winked at me. I shook me head an said, ‘OK, Dr Carroll.’

‘Right, let’s begin,’ said the doctor, lookin at me an then pullin out a piece a paper. ‘Now! I want you to look at this picture and tell me why you think this man is running.’

I looked at Jackser, an he winked, so it was OK to answer the question. Then I looked at the picture. It was a big field. An a man was runnin fer his life, an he looked so afraid he’d even let his hat blow off an didn’t wait te pick it up. I stared at the picture fer a few minutes, then I said, ‘Tha poor man is after gettin an awful shock. He was goin home, makin his way across tha field. It was probably a short cut. An he saw a man hangin from a tree. An he’s not the better of it. An he’s rushin te tell someone an get help.’ I then let out a big breath after workin tha one out. The man was starin at me wit his jaw hangin down. An I looked at Jackser te see if I’d done all right, an his eyes was rollin te heaven.