Lying and Kissing(76)

The spasms lasted for what felt like minutes as he circled and rubbed at my clit. He drew the pleasure out and out for me as his hips pistoned against my upraised ass. Somewhere in my groaning and writhing, I felt him shudder and reach his own release.

Eventually, I slumped on the bed, spent. I felt him gently unfasten the cuffs and then pull me over onto my side, spooning me as my breathing gradually settled.

“You’d make a lousy spy,” he said with a low chuckle. “Natalia used to hold out for hours.”





I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember is waking up in his arms. I lay there staring at the wall and took stock.

The pain from the spanking had long since faded—he hadn’t actually hit me all that hard. My wrists were a little red from the cuffs, but that, too, would soon disappear.

What I couldn’t get rid of was the guilt.

When I thought he knew, there’d been a moment when I was actually relieved. Even though I thought he was going to kill me, a little part of me was just glad not to have to lie anymore. How did other agents do this? How does Nancy do this?!

She doesn’t fall in love with the target, I told myself bitterly.

I didn’t care that it was too soon to use that word. I knew what I felt.

Stacked on top of the guilt from lying to him was the guilt at how easily I’d broken. I’d been ready to fold just at the mere threat of pain. If he ever did find out, I knew I’d roll over and give up my country in a heartbeat. Some spy I was. And then, when I discovered it was just a game, I’d gotten off on it. I’d come my brains out, screaming obscenities at him while he rode me harder and harder.

I was completely out of control. Not just during sex, but whenever I was around him. I needed to get out. And his father had provided the perfect excuse. I’d tell Luka I couldn’t handle the gangster life, that I was scared for my safety, and his dad would back me up.#p#分页标题#e#

First, though, I had to talk to Adam. He hadn’t heard from me since I left on the yacht. I knew he’d have people watching me from a distance, so he’d know I was okay. But he still didn’t know about the scale of the arms deal.

It was time to do my job. It was time to betray Luka and finish this.

I woke him and told him that I had promised to meet a friend, someone I knew from back in the US who worked in Moscow, now. He didn’t even ask her name or think that it was suspicious that I hadn’t mentioned it before. That was what made it so difficult—that he trusted me so completely.

He smiled and said he’d make me breakfast. As I stumbled towards the wet room for a shower, he gave me a playful slap on the ass. “We should play that game more often,” he said.

I forced myself to smile.



 



I met Adam in Red Square this time, hiding in plain sight amongst all the tourists. We stood looking up at the statue of Minin and Pozharsky, just a couple of American tourists comparing notes.

I told him about the guns I’d seen and the deal itself. He listened carefully when I described Luka’s plan to take over the gun market. I handed him a tourist map on which I’d written the names of the buyers and the batch numbers of the crates of guns. He stared at it thoughtfully for a long time, then shook his head. “Unbelievable, Arianna. This is great work. Exactly what we needed.”

The whole journey there, I’d been waiting for that moment. I’d been hoping that his praise would push back the awful guilt. But I didn’t feel the same glow of pride I’d had in Gorky Park when I’d last met him. I just felt like a backstabbing rat.

I felt Adam’s eyes on me. “Something wrong?”

I shook my head. “Just nervous. Not used to this.”

He went to put his hand on my shoulder but then dropped it awkwardly. For just an instant, he looked guilty. “You’ll be home soon,” he said.

“Should I do it today?” I asked. “I mean...break up with him?”

Adam considered. “What are you meant to be doing with him, later today?”

“He’s taking me out in the city, around where he grew up. He wants to show me his old apartment block and things.”

Adam nodded slowly. “Stay with him for the rest of today. Make the break tonight and go back to your hotel. Make sure you keep your cell phone on, just in case I need to call you. Tomorrow morning, I’ll have a car pick you up at nine a.m. and take you to the airport.”

I’d known it was coming, but it was still like someone had slammed a wrench into my chest. Tomorrow, I’d go home and then I’d never see Luka again.



 



Two hours later, we were in Luka’s car with Yuri behind the wheel. I craned my head to look out at the apartment blocks on either side: grim monoliths of concrete encircled by rusting cars, some burned out. Garbage was mixed in amongst the overgrown grass. Graffiti covered every available surface that could possibly be reached, even if it meant leaning precariously out from a balcony. The mood was somber, but it wasn’t just the war-zone surroundings. There’d been a tension between us ever since I got back from meeting Adam. The knowledge of what I had to do hung over me like a storm cloud and Luka could sense it, too.