Loving My Best Friend's Dad(28)

Now I’m finding out that I can’t live with it. It’s been two weeks of hell. The only thing in my thoughts is Emilia, her sweet face, her bubbly laugh. It taunts me in my sleep, reminding me of all that I held in my hands and then stupidly let go. My heart feels strange, like it’s trapped in a vice, and nothing I can do seems to shake it off. The feelings I’ve developed for Emilia are stronger, far stronger than I thought, and I can’t be without her. I just don’t see a future there. She’d somehow come into my heart, my soul without me knowing, and now she’s taken it with her.

And now my misery is spreading, affecting my work, my employees, and if I’m not careful, it’s going to reach to my clients. Everything I built up burned in a flash. Well, I didn’t care anyways. They were no longer important, they were no longer the center which my life revolved around. Still, this had to stop. I might not care, but I know that my employees have families to raise, children to send to college, parents to support in old age. If I threw everything away, they were the ones who would suffer, not me. So I have to get my shit together.

The only hangup I had was the fact that I gave Emilia my number and she hasn’t called. On the last day of spring break, I did something I never thought I’d do: I went to work. I couldn’t face the thought of her leaving, so I didn’t. If I had stayed, I might not have been able to let her go. Maybe it’s because of that that she hasn’t called.

But now, a week later, I discover that I can’t just give her space to come around, not if it means I’ll lose her. Not if it means she never knows what I feel for her.

There’s nothing left to it. I have to go see her. I have to look in her eyes, and lay it on the line. And if that means that she says no, then at least I’ll have my answer. At least I’ll be able to say: I did my best.

My decision made, I get up, grab my jacket and stride out of my office.

“Cancel whatever’s on the rest of my day,” I tell her.

“Are you taking care of whatever’s shoved that stick up your ass?” she says, raising her eyebrow.

“Something like that.”

“Good. Consider your schedule clean. Don’t come back until everything’s fixed.”

“About Shenzhen-”

“It’s fine. I can take care of it,” she says, waving me off. Her voice softens. “Take care of what you need to do.”

I nod and head out.

The drive to Emilia’s college is a few hours, but because it’s not rush hour, I’m able to make it in record time. Or maybe it just feels that way because I’m finally doing what I should have done all along. I know that Renee and Emilia are roommates. She tells me that she doesn’t mind because she likes to be with her friend, but now I’m cursing the fact. I don’t want to run into my daughter, not before I know how Emilia feels. So I pull up the app that lets me find her phone. It’s a holdover from the days when she’d sneak out on us every night. I don’t need to check it these days, but I’m glad that the program is still connected.

Surprisingly, her phone says she’s in New York.

I’d be pissed, but this means that she’s not going to be there.

A half hour later, I coast through the wrought iron gates of the college. Students are milling on the grounds, studying or chatting in clumps on the grass. I pass several old buildings, using my memory of moving Renee in to help me figure out where to go. The campus is sprawling, and I’m tapping impatiently on the wheel as students keep crossing the streets. Finally I pull up to a stately old brick building, covered in ivy with black shutters on the windows. My BMW sticks out like a sore thumb in the parking lot.

One of the students is smoking by the side door, and I slip through easily. No need to explain to the front porter what’s going on, another thing I’m thankful for. Everything’s lining up for me, and I take it as a sign. I take the stairs two at a time up, until I’m on the third floor. The hallway is empty of students, which makes sense since it’s class time.

I stop short. Could she be in class?

It never occurred to me that she wouldn’t be there. I falter in my steps, but I’m already almost there. She has to be here.

The two of them are in room 332, and I knock hard, my ears straining for some kind of sound on the other side. My hearts pounding in my ears, and I knock again. Suddenly the door opens. Emilia’s standing in the doorway, hair piled high on her head, wearing a black flowing maxi dress that flows over her curves. Somehow I’d forgotten what she did to me, how she could melt me with just a bat of her eyes. She looks effortlessly sexy, and I can’t help it, I cup her face in my hands and I kiss her. I kiss her with fucking everything I have for her. Her lips open for me, her mouth warm and delicious, and we step back into her room.