Loving My Best Friend's Dad(25)

We’re locked together like this, breathing heavy, bodies touching, connected in such an intimate way as only two people can be. This, this is more than sex. This is what it means when they say you’re making love.





Emilia


I wake up for the last time in New York and I’m full of sadness. Even though last night was so perfect, nothing’s changed this morning, which means Nate must think our agreement’s ended. Otherwise he would have left me a note or something right? I sigh, pulling the covers over my head. I’m definitely not ready to face the day. My heart’s heavy in my chest, and I don’t think I could bear to look at Nate and say goodbye. In the short time we’ve been together, my feelings for him have changed and grown so much. What started off as just pure physical lust has changed into love. And that just makes things so much harder. I wish that I could have warned myself away from Nate that night we had sex again, that it would become so much more.

There was a moment there last night when I thought that Nate would say something, would ask me to stay, to be his. I know we have so much to overcome, the disapproval of everyone around us, especially family, but what we had was special. Surely we could have done it? But I guess for him it was just a one week thing, nothing more. I don’t know why that upsets me, especially since I agreed to it. It’s not like he tricked me or promised me more than he could give. In fact, it’s the very opposite. Nate is a man of his word, and it’s ridiculous of me to hold that against him.

Finally, I push away the covers. I can’t just wallow here forever. I definitely have school to go back to, and I’m so incredibly behind in my studies. At least I’ll have those as a distraction over the next few days. It’ll be a relief not to have to think too much about this, because my heart hurts enough already.

Once I’m showered and packed, I head out of my room cautiously. I steel myself for looking into Nate’s blue eyes, that strong jaw that I’ve come to know so well, that big body who could make me feel fragile and feminine as he moves over me. But he’s not there. It’s only Renee, who’s piling fruit on top of her bowl of yogurt.

“Morning,” I say to her. “Where’s your dad?”

“He had an important meeting,” she says, her face sad. “Something happened at the firm.”

“Oh no. Is everything going to be okay?”

“I think so,” she says, biting on her lip. “Dad says they’ve got plans for when things like it happen, but he couldn’t say any more than that. Anyways. We should probably head back on the road. I know you’re anxious to get home.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that would be great,” I tell her, fixing a smile to my face.

I won’t even get a goodbye. His feelings to me are clear, and I just have to accept it.

Since it’s breakfast time I head towards the fridge automatically, but I don’t see anything I want. For some reason, even though I feel hollow, I don’t want any food at all. Instead I pour myself a cup of coffee. Once Renee’s eaten her yogurt, we grab our bags and head down. As the elevator closes on the penthouse, I have to push back the feeling of tears. Don’t be stupid, I scold myself. This is how it was supposed to be. Nothing more, nothing less. I got a wonderful week with Nate, something I’ll always remember and cherish. That should be enough for me. Luckily, Renee’s too busy texting with Sebastian, and I quickly rub my eyes to make the tears go away.

“So guess what?” Renee says to me as we start our drive home.

“What?”

“Sebastian asked me to be exclusive with him last night.”

She’s got the biggest grin in the world, and for some reason, I’m filled with ugly jealousy. I have to work hard to figure out what I would normally say, and I’m ashamed that it takes me a little bit before I can muster the words.

“That’s great. So you guys are going to be... in a long distance relationship?”

“Uh huh,” Renee says. “But it’s no big deal, because I’m going to go see him every weekend. I’d tell him to come, but I don’t want to kick you out of the room.”

“Oh, that wouldn’t bother me,” I tell her.

I keep my eyes trained out in front of us, but I’m not looking at the buildings or cars. I’m just trying not to let her see how fake my words are. Because they are. I wouldn’t be able to see how mushy and happy the two of them are without thinking about Nate and I. We started out just the same as they did, in Atlantica, only she gets a happy ending, and I’ve got nothing. Nothing at all.

“I know how much your studies mean to you.”