Loving Lily(47)

Stopping a foot away from me while tightening his robe, I then noticed the missing wedding band on his ring finger. “Where’s your ring?”

“Somewhere in Mexico.”

His answer baffled me. “What? You left it there? I don’t think I saw it anywhere in the room nor the bathroom before I left today.”

“I threw it out in the sea the morning I decided to take the next flight out to come back here.”

“Oh.”

Drake pressed his lips together, looking rather apologetic about it. I had treated him so badly he’d had every right to throw it. I guessed, when men said it was over, it really meant it was fucking done and over with. Unlike men, we get too overwhelmed by a lot of things, and we take action without thought. I was all bark with no bite; Drake was the opposite.

I was no longer holding back, my barriers all but shut down, letting everything go since I had nothing to protect myself. The man I had tried to bar from being a part of my life had decided to take flight. I was going to be alone and pregnant. And I had no one to blame except my own stupidity.

The moment my tears fell, Drake closed the gap between us before cupping his hands on mine, sadly smiling down at me.

“Shhh … There’s no need for tears. This is what you wanted in the first place, and if you’re worried that I won’t be there if you need someone, I’m only a call away. I’ll be there for you.”

“I know,” I shakily whispered, nodding my head in agreement. “I know…” My tears were unstoppable, though. I couldn’t stand seeing pity in his eyes. Ignoring my shedding tear ducts, I bravely opened my purse before producing something in my hand. “I’ve been carrying this with me.” I sniffed, barely seeing his face from the forming ball of tears. “I meant to give it to you in Mexico, but you left without telling me, so I never got the chance.”

His face seemed mesmerized at the photo, as if almost afraid to take it from my hands. When he did, I witnessed his throat bob up and down, studying it as if he was in total awe and amazement.

The ultrasound picture had an imprint of my name with a caption of Baby Tatum on it. I thought that, since I had never taken him to any of my appointments, I should at least show him it was growing well and healthy.

“Thank you for giving this to me. I’ll frame it and place it right on my table so I get to see it all the time. “He was far too grateful, so much so that it showed me how much I had disregarded his feelings, as a man and as a father.

I nodded, feeling wretched that I had chosen not to share the baby with him. It was his baby, too, and yet I had deprived him of the simplest joy of having a photo of the baby. How had I become so cruel I couldn’t even see how wrongly I had been treating him? I had been too caught up with myself, too selfish to think of him and his needs. No wonder he had given up on me. I wouldn’t want to be around myself, either.

“I should get going,” I dolefully said, feeling putout. I had stalled him for far long than I had intended. Standing there, being so close to him, surely wasn’t healthy for me, because with the persisting tears, I could possibly go dehydrated from that alone.

He looked up with his face so close to mine, so near yet so far from me. I had better start getting used it.

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“My father let me in on his plans. He’s planning a surprise for my mom for their fortieth wedding anniversary next month. Do you mind if we go together and not break it to them just yet? I want my parents to enjoy this time in their lives. The last thing I want for them is worry about me, and if they find out we’re separating, my father will most likely deem it inappropriate to follow through with his surprise. So, will it be okay to wait until then? I really want to do this for Dad. He’s had quite the scare, and after so much sadness, he thought it would be perfect to do a ceremony to re-state how much they love each other. “

The tiny flicker of hopefulness instantly vanished. There wouldn’t be any tenth, thirtieth, or fortieth wedding anniversaries for me. I felt like I was doused with ice water. The bitch mask I had donned for quite some time all but melted, leaving me in a state of confusion and uncertainty.

Smiling bravely, I tried to regain my composure yet failed miserably since my tears weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. “You know I’ll do anything for them. They’re my family, too. “

“I know. “ His throat bobbed.

“All right, I’m going.” Clutching my purse harder than before, I threw him one last look before starting to slowly walk towards the door. Before exiting, though, I paused for a second, spinning around to face him. He hadn’t left his position, staring formidably at me. Even with only his robe on, he appeared like a man in charge, a man who wasn’t intimidated by anything.