Loving Lies(41)

I wait until I’m by his side before speaking.

“I think we need to talk.”

He stands up and opens the door. “Want to come in?”

I nod and move inside his cabin. Memories of being together on his sofa and in his bed hit me. The scent of leather and cedar, his unique scent, wraps around my senses.

“You want a drink?”

“That would be great.”

“All I’ve got is beer, is that okay?”

A quick nod and I’m handed a cold one. We sit on the sofa and each take a swig of our drink. This time there’s an awkward silence sitting heavy between us.

“I’m glad you came. I thought for sure you’d leave without saying goodbye.”

Wow that hurts. “Well, I almost did, but Mrs. McCaid popped by.”

He hangs his head. “Listen, I know what I did was shitty and I realized today I had to tell them. I’ve been beating myself up over it but honestly I’m glad I spilled the beans. I might be out of a job but that’s okay for now.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yeah. My grandfather’s pretty steamed I told the McCaids all about his plans.”

I lean back into the sofa and this time enjoy the cool liquid easing down my throat. “And that was?”

“Mining. My grandfather wants to tear down this place to create a mine. There’s tons of minerals in the earth but I just couldn’t do it.”

“Christ, he can’t do that.”

Blake shuffles forward so his hands rest on his knees. “I know. When I first came here I didn’t think twice about our plans but within a week I started to have doubts. And since Dad died, something shifted inside of me. All my life I felt shitty that we didn’t have anything but each other and I realize I’ve let him down, but I’m not going to be the man my grandfather wants. I honestly care about people and according to my grandfather that’s a hindrance in his line of work. This place isn’t what I expected it to be like and I think that’s a good thing.”

“I know what you mean.”

“You do?”

I edge more toward him and wipe my hair back off my face. “Yeah, I came here for a job but think I’ve finally found myself. Oh my god, I’m becoming like you, quoting corny lines.”

He laughs and just like that I know I’m in big trouble. I came here wanting to have it out with him. I came here feeling like I had the right to be angry, but we’re both at fault.

“Listen, about us?” he asks, leaning toward me.

I sense the hope in that question but I’m still too raw to go all the way. “I’m not sure there is an us.”

He moves so our knees are touching and I’m super aware of everything. He too has changed out of his fancy clothes and the tight t-shirt he’s wearing now shows off his muscled arms.

“You can’t deny that what we have is special.”

“I’m not denying anything, but what we had was also based on lies.” There, I said it.

“I think at its essence we were truthful with each other when it came to our wants and what I feel for you is not a lie.”

I look into his eyes and wish I hadn’t. His eyes are full of hope and I hate how much I want that. I want an “us” but I shouldn’t. We’ve been lying to each other from the beginning. I wonder if we can deal with each other’s truths.

He moves closer and my body instantly responds.

“I don’t care if your name is Marissa, Ruth or Jane. The woman I got to know is Alyssa and she excites the hell out of me.”

I can’t help myself. My hands frame his face as I move in to claim his lips. He does the same to me. It’s like were memorizing each other all over again, but maybe this is the first time.

“I don’t want what we have to end.” He says, his lips an inch from mine.

“You should be mad at me for lying to you.”

He gives a soft chuckle. “I could say the same thing to you. Listen, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but will you stay with me tonight?”

I shouldn’t, but all the worry and care for tomorrow are too heavy a burden for me to bear alone. Being with Blake, letting his strength ebb into me, feels too good to deny.

I give a slight nod and just like that his lips are molded to mine, reminding me of how damn good we feel together. His kiss is light yet it almost feels like this is our very first time. It’s a promise there won’t be any more secrets between us. His tongue gently traces the contours of my lips and I’m instantly panting with the need for more, but I get that Blake’s going to take his time. His hands fall under my shirt and then he’s whipping it over my head. I do the same to him. No way am I not having access to his magnificent chest. He’s back at my mouth and this time he’s more demanding. His lips plunder mine, his tongue telling me with hard thrusts he really wants me. I let my hand fall to his crotch and push against his erection. He growls and it’s so endearing I want him naked.