Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)(33)
You’re in love with her.
I finally had to turn the damn thing off before I ripped it out of the truck and tossed it out the window. Left with only silence in the large king cab, my fucking thoughts were churning into overdrive. I curse loudly and pound on the steering wheel in front of me. My own fucking brain is betraying me now.
All I could think about was the last few days and the beautiful lost soul sleeping in my bed. King’s words bouncing with every memory of her face. Her hands. Her small frame sleeping in the truck next to me. Her long hair braided loosely, hanging down her back. Her large brown eyes wide and worried.
Fuck! There is no way in hell I can let this happen. I’m too jaded, too broken for the likes of her.
Reaching for my phone, as I pull into the driveway stopping three car lengths from the house, I slam the truck into park. An uneasy feeling sinks into my stomach but I ignore it scrolling through the list of contacts I’ve collected over the years. I find the one I’m looking for and press the green button.
She answers after the first ring.
Holly.
“Gorgeous, please tell me you’re in town,” Holly’s husky twang vibrates through the line. Usually my dick stirs at the sound but tonight it has no affect on me. More bad news, I’m going to have to work for it. The thought doesn’t sit well with me.
Holly is a no-nonsense bitch who likes to fuck. She doesn’t need hearts and flowers, just Jack Daniels and a hard cock. We worked out an arrangement last year, agreeing to hook up as often as possible, no-strings attached.
“Hello darlin’,” I clear my throat, pushing aside any second thoughts I might be having. I need this, to fuck the thought of Alice away. Holly is the right girl for the job, I’m sure of it. I just need to get around her. She’s like a dick magnet no man can resist. Anyone within ten feet of her pops a hard-on. “Wouldn’t call if I wasn’t.”
She sighs huskily, “You want to meet up? I’m headed over to Smokey’s tonight.”
Smokey’s is a dive bar across town but the music is always good and the beer flows the same at any other place. It’s where I met Holly actually and our usual hook up spot. We never go home with each other, usually kept our trysts limited to the alleyway behind whatever shithole we decide to meet up at or her car.
“I’ll be there,” I reply and hang up the phone. Yes, we were going to fuck and it would be fast and dirty, outside the bar. Afterwards we’ll go about our night like usual. Holly knew what calling her meant and as long as I give it to her hard and rough, she’s always up for some action.
The only problem I have now is the woman inside the house. I need to go in and grab a quick shower. I’ve spent the day driving, thinking and debating over how to handle the situation with Alice. Seeing her right now will only fuck with my vibe. Not seeing her, the thought made me sicker than I already felt all day. I need this but the guilt of leaving her home alone ate at me.
You’re in love with her.
I cringe, throwing open the door to my truck. My heavy boots crunch against the gravel as I make my way to the door, anger brewing as I press each word deep into my brain.
No.
I.
Am.
Not.
I open the door and I’m assaulted with the smell of food. Fuck, she cooked. Music filters in from the kitchen and a small fire burns softly in the fireplace, bathing the room in golden light, reminding him of happier times. Expecting to hear my mother’s voice singsong to me from the other room I pause, taking the moment in. I haven’t thought about my mother in years. It’s too hard, too painful. It’s Alice though, not my mother. She’s been here a little over a day and I can already tell the affect she’s having on me, having on my house. My anger and irritations dissipates.
You’re in love with her.
The words are like nails being hammered into my heart. They cut deep, finding the hollowness of the blood pump and burrow deep within it. Surely fate can’t be that cruel or can it?
*****
Alice
“Alice, are you here?” Hudson’s voice calls loudly from the front room. I heard him pull in not too long ago and took a peek out the window worried because he was taking his time coming in. He was on the phone and it looked sort of intense. I hoped everything went well today.
I’m putting the final touches on dinner, chicken alfredo. I haven’t cooked in years and I’m excited to be back in a functional kitchen again. Picking up a spoon and tapping the pot in front of me, I answer back. I’m in here.
His heavy footfalls move towards the kitchen. His tall form fills the doorway and I look up to meet his eyes, they are guarded. The excitement I felt at his arrival begins to fade. Something isn’t right.