Lost Love (Cowboys and Angels #1)(16)

Taking my hands in hers, Amelia peered into my eyes. “Steed, I’ve done a lot of research on miscarriages, I wrote about one in a book of mine. For some women, it’s a loss so great they feel it for years. Small things will trigger the memory of the loss. That has to be why Paxton avoided the family so much. We reminded her of you…you reminded her of the baby she lost.”

“But she wasn’t that far along.”

She smacked the side of my head so hard I was positive it rattled my brain around in my skull.

“What the fuck, Meli!”

“You idiot! Steed, think about the moment you found out Kim was pregnant. How did you feel?”

“Honestly?”

She nodded.

“Sad. Angry. Because the only woman I’ve ever wanted to have a child with was Paxton.”

Amelia’s hands covered her mouth. “That’s the saddest, sweetest thing you’ve said yet. You stupid asshole.”

My shoulders slumped. “Stop calling me names!”

“Hey, if the shoe fits!”

I sighed. “After the shock of Paxton telling me she was pregnant, I was actually excited. Scared as fuck, but I knew we’d made something beautiful together. I wanted to tell her that. I just didn’t know that when she dropped the bomb on me. When Kim told me she was pregnant, I had to deal with the guilt of having a child with another woman. The only thing I knew for sure was I was not walking away from that baby. When I saw the sonogram, I was instantly in love.”

“If you’d seen the sonogram from your child with Paxton, would it have made you react differently?”

I shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. I was older when Kim got pregnant. Almost out of college. More sure of myself and my future.”

“The baby was inside of Paxton, Steed. Your child growing in her. Think about what that loss was like for her, then remember she not only lost your child … she lost you too.”

Fuck. Son-of-a-bitch. I ran to the half bath and dropped to the ground as my breakfast decided to make a second appearance.





Chloe and Timmy held my hands while parents walked up to pick up their kiddos. Kindergarteners got picked up on the south side of the school, away from the older kids. Parents had the option of walking up or driving up. The first few days of school almost every parent walked up.

“Today was fun, Ms. Monroe.”

Glancing down to Timmy, I smiled. “I’m glad you had fun.”

“I hope I get picked next week to take the class pet home,” Timmy added.

I made a mental note to actually pick up a class pet. I had totally forgotten to get one with everything that had been going on this week. Another thing I could blame Steed for.

Ugh.

Steed.

“Where is the class pet, Ms. Monroe?” Chloe asked. I glanced down at her. Great. This one wasn’t going to let anything get by. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

I put my finger to my lips. Leaning down, I whispered, “I forgot to get one, Chloe Cat!”

Her eyes lit up and she tried to hide her giggle. I wasn’t sure why I had started calling her that. I only did it when the other kids couldn’t hear. My biggest fear was showing her more attention simply because she was Steed’s daughter. But knowing her mother never gave her the love she deserved made my heart ache. I wanted to shower her with so much attention that I had to force myself not to. Again, Steed was to blame.

Ugh.

“There’s my mom! Bye, Ms. Monroe!” Timmy called out.

A few parents asked how the first day went, but not all. Some simply wanted their kids and took off.

Chloe had dropped my hand when her new best friend Lilly walked up. I smiled as I watched the two of them giggle as they whispered about something.

“Oh, God. There he is.”

I turned to see one of the moms talking to another mom.

“I saw him drop his daughter off this morning. I heard he’s a widower.”

The other mom gasped. “No!”

“Yes! Check out that body. You can tell he is a Parker brother. Give me one night with him, and I can make him forget his dead wife.”

My eyes widened in shock. What in the world?

“Daddy!” Chloe cried out as she ran to Steed. He lifted her with one arm like she weighed nothing and both of the moms next to me sighed.

“Look how strong he is,” one swooned.

I rolled my eyes.

Steed knelt, pulling out a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handing them to Chloe.

Now I was sighing right along with the two moms. I couldn’t help but smile. That was such a Steed thing to do. He used to bring me flowers all the time for the simplest of things. It always made me feel so special.

Chloe wrapped her arms around her father’s neck. She grabbed Steed’s hand and pulled him over to where Lilly and her mother were standing.